Thursday, March 25, 2010

126 UF

TITLE: Black Eden
GENRE: Urban Fantasy


“I have a clear shot.” I crouched next to the wall and sighted down my arms, aiming my gun at the vampire’s chest.

10 comments:

Tami said...

Weak hook. I'd keep reading a bit further to make a stronger decision, but no sense of the main character's personality or voice here. Shooting a vampire isn't enough of a hook for me.

Steve said...

Vampires get shot (or shot at) all the time. Why is this time more special than the thousands that went before? Answer that and I might keep reading.

Anonymous said...

I like that it starts with action. Hooked. I'd read more to see how the fight goes...

Anonymous said...

Not really hooked. If it were as simple as the remark implies, there would be nothing else to the story.

Catherine Kariaxi said...

Sorry... I'm not hooked yet. This is the 25 word thing, but I felt this was too much to the point, when it could be building up the situation, describing the target before the protagonist raised his/her weapon.

Keren David said...

Vampireszzzzzzzzzzzz....

Vicki Tremper said...

Partially hooked. I haven't seen a vamp book open like this before.

Jodi Meadows said...

Could be more hooked, but not not hooked.

Merc said...

Not hooked, sorry. Hunting vampires in UF? That's... pretty common, so I would have to see what makes this one DIFFERENT before I'd want to read on.

falconesse@gmail.com said...

Not very hooked. I like a good vampire story, but I don't see anything very new yet (even though I know it's hard to do in 25 words!)