Thursday, March 25, 2010

153 Romantic Environmental Suspense

TITLE: Night Noise
GENRE: Romantic Environmental Suspense



The stench of blood can ruin a spring morning.
Miller Abel twisted off the ignition of her Lexus. She sagged against the seat

16 comments:

Catherine Kariaxi said...

Tentatively hooked... :)

I like the first line especially.

Portia said...

Hooked. Good start. Just curious, what is romantic environmental suspense?

Bane of Anubis said...

Liked the first line -- twisting off the ignition struck me oddly, though.

Amyspitz said...

More intrigued by the genre than the line...still probably give it a few pages, though.

Megalicious said...

Liked the first line. Don't like her name or fancy car

Kristi Faith said...

hooked

Vicki said...

I like the first line, but the second seems completely unrelated. Does she have a dead body in the car or what?

Cat said...

Intrigued. I'd read more.

Jodi Meadows said...

Possibly hooked.

Iris said...

Maybe hooked, but what is Romantic Environmental Suspense? Second line is not so strong, might bear rethinking.

Susan Bradley said...

Maybe. I'd like to know more about the genre for sure. The 2 sentences seem unrelated. Is the stench in her car?

Lucy Woodhull said...

Your first line is fantastic. The second like could be smoothed out. If we're in Miller's POV, then lose her last name. I don't run around thinking of myself as Lucy Woodhull. "Miller twisted off the ignition of her Lexus and sagged against the seat." reads more smoothly to me. Romantic Environmental Suspense is not a genre - romantic suspense is. In your query you can give it the environmental element.

Merc said...

Hrm. Almost hooked. The opening line is iffy for me, though I like "ruin a spring morning" (it makes it fresher) so it would depend on how the rest of the scene unfolds.

Bron said...

I liked the first line, but there was a disconnect between that and the second line. Perhaps the first line could be Miller's thoughts as she turns off the car?

Cheryl S said...

LOVED the first line, but had to wonder how it fitted with the second.

Dominique said...

Not bad. I'd keep reading. I don't know if I'm hooked-hooked yet, but you've got some of my attention.