TITLE: Night Noise
GENRE: Romantic Environmental Suspense
The stench of blood can ruin a spring morning.
Miller Abel twisted off the ignition of her Lexus. She sagged against the seat
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16 comments:
Tentatively hooked... :)
I like the first line especially.
Hooked. Good start. Just curious, what is romantic environmental suspense?
Liked the first line -- twisting off the ignition struck me oddly, though.
More intrigued by the genre than the line...still probably give it a few pages, though.
Liked the first line. Don't like her name or fancy car
hooked
I like the first line, but the second seems completely unrelated. Does she have a dead body in the car or what?
Intrigued. I'd read more.
Possibly hooked.
Maybe hooked, but what is Romantic Environmental Suspense? Second line is not so strong, might bear rethinking.
Maybe. I'd like to know more about the genre for sure. The 2 sentences seem unrelated. Is the stench in her car?
Your first line is fantastic. The second like could be smoothed out. If we're in Miller's POV, then lose her last name. I don't run around thinking of myself as Lucy Woodhull. "Miller twisted off the ignition of her Lexus and sagged against the seat." reads more smoothly to me. Romantic Environmental Suspense is not a genre - romantic suspense is. In your query you can give it the environmental element.
Hrm. Almost hooked. The opening line is iffy for me, though I like "ruin a spring morning" (it makes it fresher) so it would depend on how the rest of the scene unfolds.
I liked the first line, but there was a disconnect between that and the second line. Perhaps the first line could be Miller's thoughts as she turns off the car?
LOVED the first line, but had to wonder how it fitted with the second.
Not bad. I'd keep reading. I don't know if I'm hooked-hooked yet, but you've got some of my attention.
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