TITLE: SIGN OF THE STAR
GENRE: YA Fantasy
Someone approaches, the winds tell me. A rider.
Pages
- Authoress
- Crits and Contests
- FAQ
- Contact
- Success Stories
- Baker's Dozen Success Stories
- General Success Stories
- Published Authors
- Secret Agent Success Stories
- Peter Adam Salomon
- Helene Dunbar
- Beth Hautala
- Monica B.W.
- Leah Petersen
- Danielle Jensen
- Tracy Holczer
- Leigh Talbert Moore
- Alice Loweecey
- Beth Hull
- Home
37 comments:
The rhythm of these few words grounds me in the genre you are writing in, but I want more. How does the wind tell you? How do you know it's a rider and not a bear? Is the wind communicating with the narrator explicitly or is it smells etc. that are signaling it? Maybe if there were a bit more to the post I could have a better response.
Perhaps more words could have been added to this to give either a stronger sense of urgency, or a more vivid picture.
I'm not hooked. I don't think there's enough information to make me care yet.
So few words, and yet I like the writing.
Hooked.
On the fence with this one, and I'm not entirely sure why. I'd probably give the book another sentence or two, but I don't have any particular reaction based on what's here.
Not hooked -- seems to be trying too hard.
The style hooked me.
I'm hooked--you got me. Wind talking to MC. Nice.
I think I'm more hooked on the idea of what this is about, than the actual sentences themselves. That said, I'd read on, because I like the idea of the wind talking to the narrator and it feels like we're about to be plunged into some tension if not outright action.
I'd read on to find out more.
Sorry, not hooked. It feels a little forced
Partly hooked. Can't help but feel it needs a little something more.
I like the writing, I'd read more
Interesting. I'd give ita few more paras.
i like the first sentence. it's restrained but still evokes a mood. i'd read on.
Hooked. I love how the wind speaks here.
Hooked. The writer's voice comes across clearly with this, and I want to keep reading.
It's got a lyricism that reminds me of old school fantasy, which I like. Hooked.
Hooked.
I like people who talk to winds, but I feel like I've read this before. I'd keep reading to see if it gets less common.
I agree with Christine.
It read awkward for me. But I'm not a huge fantasy fan either.
I'm not wowed, but I would read on.
I like it. Talking with the wind appeals to me. It's a soft-feeling sentence, but I like it. Evocative.
Not hooked.
Hooked.
I like this opening. Not horribly strong, but I get a sense of what's happening and that the wind is speaking to the MC.
i like the writing style enough to keep reading.
Hooked for at least a few more sentences. I like the tone so far.
Lightly hooked.
I like the title and the first sentence. Given the genre,I am hooked. My only comment is to combine the two sentences. Something like “Someone approaches, the winds tell me—it’s a rider.” I connected with the protagonist and learned she has communication with the wind. I would read more.
The first thing I thought was "It sounds like a Haiku". But that is is irrelevant. It must be somebody important if the wind tells you about it. I would read on.
I'd give it a few more paragraphs because I love YA :)
Great writing, but I'm not sure I learn enough to be hooked.
Not hooked. It's too vague and disjointed for me.
I didn't like the first sentence. It seemed awkward and jerky.
Post a Comment