Wednesday, August 8, 2012

August First Line Grabber #16

TITLE: DUSTED
GENRE: YA Urban Fantasy

Brina knew better than to go out in public looking less than her questionable best.

71 comments:

  1. Yes. Hints at good conflict.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes. I have reservations, though. If the MC's a complete narcisist, I'll put it down immediately, but I'd give it at least half a page to see if it's something I would like.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes, shows me that Brina is strong and perhaps proud and suggests that something is happening that she's trying to hide. I want to know more.

    ReplyDelete
  4. No. It feels awkward, like I know what the writer is trying to say, but there has to be a better way to say it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yes. There's enough characterization that I want to know more about Brina. Though the word 'questionable' did throw me a bit.

    ReplyDelete
  6. No. She sounds both narcissistic and emo. I'd keep reading, but I'm kind of put off by books that start out with something related to the MC's physical description.

    ReplyDelete
  7. No. It doesn't raise any questions, and it is slightly unoriginal.

    ReplyDelete
  8. No: i second the emo comment

    ReplyDelete
  9. Yes. I'm curious as to why she feels this way. But I also agree with Amanda about the awkwardness of the word 'questionable'.

    ReplyDelete
  10. No. the word questionable bothers me.

    ReplyDelete
  11. No. Sentence structure was awkward. I had to reread the end.

    ReplyDelete
  12. No. Not interesting. We should all try to look decent. Never know who you might meet.

    ReplyDelete
  13. No.

    I hate vain characters. That's all I see here.

    ReplyDelete
  14. No. I don't really care about a character obsessing about their looks and not loving the 'questionable'.

    ReplyDelete
  15. No. I agree that this doesn't set up a character I'd be at all interested in knowing more about.

    ReplyDelete
  16. NO. What is her "questionable best?" It sounds like you meant absolute best. That little bit threw me off.

    ReplyDelete
  17. No -- the sentence feels awkward to me, and the issue of whether or not she looks her best doesn't really grab me.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Yes, I like the voice and the word "questionable" shows that she isn't a narcissist.

    ReplyDelete
  19. No. Questionable best? I don't understand...

    ReplyDelete
  20. Yes, intrigued enough to read the next line. If her best is questionable, why is it so important to look that way?

    ReplyDelete
  21. No. The MC seems shallow and I don't understand what "questionable best" means.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Yes, funny! Shows she's not that vain and has a sense of humor.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Yes, I had those moments in high school (YA) and am wondering what makes her appearance questionable.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Yes. 'questionable best' means she's maybe got some self image issues and that makes her flawed, which I love. I want to know more.

    ReplyDelete
  25. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  26. No. "Questionable" confused me.

    ReplyDelete
  27. No. I was tripped up by what the heck, 'less than her questionable best' means.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Yes - I want to know what questionable best means.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Yes. Kind of funny and made me chuckle.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Yes. But it better pick up. I'm questioning some snottiness in MC, but that could be fun. Or it could be just plain annoying and I'd put the book down.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Yes. Offers an immediate conflict, but the word 'questionable' is awkward.

    ReplyDelete
  32. No. I don't think this is the strongest way to start your book.

    ReplyDelete
  33. No. You lost me at 'questionable best.'

    ReplyDelete
  34. No. It seems like too many opening sentences start with cliches like "she knew better than to..." and I didn't quite understand looking her "questionable best."

    ReplyDelete
  35. Yes
    I'd like to see what happens since she doesn't look very good.

    ReplyDelete
  36. No. I like the "questionable best" here, but I don't really like reading about characters who are overly concerned with physical appearance.

    ReplyDelete
  37. No. I was confused about questionable best. It sounds nice, but didn't complete the picture for me.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Yes. BecauseI want to know what questionable best is.

    ReplyDelete
  39. No, it feels like a sentence that should come later. I got a little tripped up by "questionable best."

    ReplyDelete
  40. No. Maybe if you added the risk if she did it would be more interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  41. No. Feels generic. Is there something unique to your story you could start with?

    ReplyDelete
  42. Yes. I think there is definite voice and it caught my attention.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Yes. "Questionable best" got me. I want to know what's questionable about it.

    ReplyDelete
  44. No. This doesn't show me anything interesting about the character.

    ReplyDelete
  45. No.
    Makes the MC look self-absorbed and 'questionable' best was awkward to me.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Yes. I like what this says about the character, even though the last half of this is slightly awkward.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Yes, but only because the word 'questionable' has me curious.

    ReplyDelete
  48. No. There's no sense of why it matters how she looks, other than because she cares--which isn't that interesting. If there's some horrible repercussion for going out without her mascara, let's see it.

    ReplyDelete
  49. No. I'm not getting "questionable best", at all. Questionable is negative, so even if it's a matter of her style being different than others', it wouldn't be questionable to her. I'm not sure it means what you want it to say.

    ReplyDelete
  50. No--blech, she sounds really shallow, and I don't feel any set-up for conflict that I'd care about.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Yes. I like these people who know better than do whatever anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  52. No. I have a feel for the character, and it might work better when read with other sentences, but it just doesn't feel that much of a hook to me. Maybe not enough hint at conflict?

    ReplyDelete
  53. Yes. Suggests conflict and gives us a little hint at Brinna's character. Though, I'm confused about what "her questionable best" means.

    ReplyDelete
  54. No. Doesn't seem to be my kind of story.

    ReplyDelete
  55. No. A lot of teen girls are caught up with their appearance, nothing new there. 'Questionable best' lost me.

    ReplyDelete
  56. No. Questionable best? It doesn't read right for me.

    ReplyDelete
  57. No.

    I was confused by "questionable best," and wasn't sure if her best is really awesome or her best is actually not so great. The first I couldn't care less about; the second would interest me if it were made clearer.

    ReplyDelete
  58. No. Too thrown by "questionable best."

    ReplyDelete
  59. No. Probably because I don't put much stock in how I look before leaving the house.

    ReplyDelete
  60. No. This character sounds like she'll annoy me too much.

    ReplyDelete
  61. No. It seems like she thinks she can't live up to someone else's standards and that kind of insecurity doesn't appeal to me.

    ReplyDelete
  62. No. It's not captivating or unique.

    ReplyDelete
  63. No. Too general and familiar.

    ReplyDelete