Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Logline Critique Round One #27

TITLE: Amongst
GENRE: Middle Grade/YA Fantasy

[editor's note: This is not a logline.]

“Young man, it is not impossible to leave Verandale; it is impossible to leave with your body still wrapped around your soul.”

Enoch tried not to yawn during his father’s lecture. But the fact was he had to listen to it every time another villager was eaten by a Cof.

3 comments:

  1. I really like this as the beginning of a story, by the way. I'm intrigued.
    But as the beginning of the story, not as a logline.

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  2. I agree with the prior comment. This is not a logline. It is the beginning of a story. But an intriguing one...

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  3. Oops, sent the wrong file.
    Thank you for the nice comments Petre Pan and the ever-omnipresent Anonymous. I was expecting major skewering!
    Now off to send my logline into a first-two-lines-of-your-novel contest :)

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