Thursday, June 27, 2013

First Sentence #24

TITLE: Chasing Betsy
GENRE: Mainstream Fiction

This is my last trip to the house of crazy.

47 comments:

  1. YES - because your main character brings a strong voice and wry sense of humour to the start. This makes me wonder what will happen next.

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  2. Yes.

    This first sentence has really nice voice. It doesn't give much to go on, but just based on the voice alone, I'd keep reading a bit to learn more.

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  3. Yes

    SHort and sweet and perfectly hooky. i would definitely keep reading

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  4. Yes, makes me wonder is the MC just visiting or... and I like the voice.

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  5. Yes. Makes me curious about the 'house of crazy', and immediately signifies that a unique event is about to occur.

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  6. Yes. I want to know what the "house of crazy" is. I also like the voice.

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  7. Yes. You had me at "house of crazy".

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  8. Yes. Love the house of crazy

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  9. Yes. Also I say that every time I visit my family. ;) Great hook. :)

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  10. Yes. Perfect! Can't wait to meet the cast of characters :)

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  11. Yes. Just wondering why she's coming to my house. :)

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  12. Yes! Love it. Simple, yet it tells me a lot.

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  13. Yes. For certain. I laughed. And although I have no idea whether "house of crazy" is an actual place or just a colourful description, I know I have to find out.

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  14. Yes! It's short, but it offers great voice and a story question right off the bat.

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  15. Yes! It's short and it well...now that I see the comment before mine, I say, "Ditto!"

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  16. Yes! Short and effective with a great voice and the right touch of humor.

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  17. Yes. We know we're in for a ride.

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  18. Yes, I want to know about the house of crazy!

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  19. Yes, I'm definitely intrigued.

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  20. Yes. I'd totally give this a shot.

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  21. Yes-- I love "the house of crazy" line.

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  22. Yes. Just Yes. I say this every Thanksgiving.

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  23. Yes, I like it. Sometimes longer isn't always better!

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  24. No. I guess it's just me, but it doesn't grab me enough. The house of crazy part is different, but I immediately think asylum--and lose interest.

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  25. Yes... I can already see a great voice shining through.

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  26. Yes. There's part of me that doesn't like it, for reasons I can't put my finger on. Then I realize it's because I want more. And isn't that what it's supposed to do?

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  27. Yes. I want to know what the house of crazy is and if she's right that this is the last time.

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  28. Yes. This MC sounds like my kind of person. I'd definitely read on.

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  29. Yes. I like the voice immediately and the promise of a "house-of-crazy."

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  30. Yes. I feel I can relate already :)

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  31. Yes. Tells so much, but also leaves many questions. Is this a patient talking? A doctor, a parent? Very intriguing.

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  32. Yes--I would read on. Simple with enough of a hook to make me ask why.

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  33. Yes - It's vague but context could be coming quickly, I'd give it a few paragraphs to find out at least. Mainly yes because it's hinting that something's coming rather than so many of these that talk about something that has already happened.

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  34. Looks like I'm in the minority, but I agree with what Joan Stradling said.

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  35. Yes. Like the voice and the hint of conflict.

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  36. yes. Tells us something about the MC and the situation all in just a few words.

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  37. No-She's telling me it's her last trip, and I'm guessing that next, she's going to explain the situation instead of the story happening. And the house of crazy can be an institution, or her family home filled with a dysfunctional family. I don't know what I'm getting.

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  38. Yes. You've got my interest with this sentence. Who is this person? What is this house of crazy? And why is it their last trip there? This is something I'd want to see again.

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  39. Hooked! I want to know what the House of Crazy is! You've totally piqued my interest!

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  40. Yes. It makes me wonder what the house of crazy is.

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