Thursday, June 27, 2013

First Sentence #36

TITLE: Europe (WIP)
GENRE: Commercial Fiction

“The logistics are going to be hell.”

44 comments:

  1. No. Was it a thought? A dialogue line? I'd like some action along with it to know what's going on.

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  2. Yes. It's so short that it being so non-specific doesn't bother me. I'd read on so long as context or comedy popped up very shortly thereafter.

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  3. Yes. Sometimes short and vague works, and this one does because it hints at intrigue and possibly a touch of humor.

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  4. Yes.
    Starting with a short, sharp line of dialogue like this promises a fast pace.

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  5. No. I'm generally not grabbed by dialogue in the first sentence.

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  6. No: too vague.

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  7. No, but only because I don't get any sense for the story out of this sentence. Maybe if you added who said it and some details, I would get a better feel for it!

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  8. Toss-up - So little to go on. I'd probably read long enough to see who was speaking and more about the situation.

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  9. Yes. I liked how we were plunged straight in and this triggered lots if questions for me.

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  10. Yes, but the next few lines would be the make it or break it material. Anything being hell has potential for drama.

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  11. No. Too "telling" without a context to make sense of it.

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  12. Yes, but heavily dependant on what comes next. I don't like starting with dialogue, but I would certainly read on from this.

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  13. Yes, because this is dialogue, and as long as whatever comes next fills this out a bit more.

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  14. No. I don't like reading dialogue without knowing who's speaking or any kind of context. By the time I'm caught up, I've forgotten what they're talking about.

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  15. No, reluctantly. It's vague enough to encourage me to read on, but it lacks enough detail to give me an idea of what might be coming next.

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  16. Yes, though it breaks the "rules" , it grabs.

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  17. I'm split right down the middle

    I'm intrigued by what is going to cause the ligistics to be hell, but there's really nothing else to grab me

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  18. No, but that could easily change with a second sentence.

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  19. Yes. Intrigued me enough to get me to read on.

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  20. No. Even if this is setting up the conflict of the story, it's phrased in a rather unremarkable way. Would like to see who's saying it, perhaps open with the speaker and his/her body language conveying the gravity of the situation -- and perhaps even any other conflicts with whoever is listening.

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  21. No. It's just not enough information or promise of information to pull me in. I think if it was fleshed out even just a tiny bit more, I'd change my mind.

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  22. No, though I could be persuaded to read the second sentence. The quotation marks threw me, so maybe it's just this format—isolating the first line from its context—that put me off? I just wasn't sure if you'd made a mistake (like, you were quoting your own manuscript) or if someone was speaking (or thinking).

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  23. No. Not a fan of opening with dialogue. I need some context before we get to this line. I'd prefer to start with character.

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  24. No. I'm not a fan of unattributed lines of speech to start novels, especially when they further hide what's being talked about under the heading of 'logistics'.

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  25. Yes it worked but I would love a speech tag with a bit of action with it. Supposed that all of that was coming in the next sentence, huh? :D Either way, I'd obviously keep reading

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  26. Yes. It's got a good voice and for the genre, I'd hang in after that sentence. It's vague, but in a 'wonder what logistics' way, not a 'huh?' way.

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  27. No. It feels generic to me. I think I've read this same sentence in many classic SF novels.

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  28. I'm not sure, it doesn't read like SF, at first I thought murder mystery...

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  29. Yes! I like quippy dialogue, even if I don't know what it's in reference to.

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  30. No. If this were a Thriller or Suspense, I'd read on because I would think they were planning something epic. With this being Commercial Fiction, it just makes me think of a board meeting.

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  31. No, because I don't like unattributed dialogue at the beginning of the story. But if you changed it to narration -- The logistics were going to be hell -- the short, punchiness would be a plus.

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  32. No.

    This is an "I can't explain why" moment. It just doesn't work for me.

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  33. Yes. Even though this is really short, I've got a great feel/image already happening for the person this voice belongs to.

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  34. Yes. Liked the voice and you got me wondering: the logistics of what.

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  35. No--It may work well with comes after it, but as a single line with no context, it's a no for me. It doesn't mean anything, it doesn't tell me anything, it doesn't hint at anything specific. And because it doesn't, I don't have a clue as to what to suggest.

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  36. Yes. I'm intrigued, I want to know what is going on, and who's speaking. It sounds like an interesting starting point to me.

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  37. No. I'm not a fan of opening with dialogue without context. Even one line ahead of this to tell me who or where or why would make all the difference.

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