tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post132792937077955617..comments2024-03-19T03:20:39.801-04:00Comments on Authoress: First Line Grabber #28Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger62125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-40989846971752109012012-02-26T18:11:58.065-05:002012-02-26T18:11:58.065-05:00Yes. A breech being a metaphor for the rest of the...Yes. A breech being a metaphor for the rest of the person's life is funny. Not the way I said, but the way it was introduced.Lanettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09987748870291077638noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-48267595292776886832012-02-25T19:10:33.922-05:002012-02-25T19:10:33.922-05:00Yes. It's funny. I think the MC is flipping of...Yes. It's funny. I think the MC is flipping off the world. Perhaps a bit of a jokester.LMThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14326868690623302797noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-82734116782404265852012-02-25T18:08:09.493-05:002012-02-25T18:08:09.493-05:00No.
I wish I had a more specific explanation, but...No.<br /><br />I wish I had a more specific explanation, but it just didn't appeal to me.Abbe Hoggannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-36873850847225241852012-02-25T16:29:10.723-05:002012-02-25T16:29:10.723-05:00Yes. It's clever and simple --makes me want to...Yes. It's clever and simple --makes me want to read on.HMLnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-86640609177373310732012-02-25T08:37:17.319-05:002012-02-25T08:37:17.319-05:00Yes.
It made me pause for a second, and then made...Yes.<br /><br />It made me pause for a second, and then made me laugh. And while we're all born naked, we're not all born butt first.JeffOhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07947660745120963286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-60793861273874600892012-02-24T20:38:11.949-05:002012-02-24T20:38:11.949-05:00Yes - if he/she was born butt first. Which happens...Yes - if he/she was born butt first. Which happens! But if it's just a clever way to show character, I'd say no.Tracy Holczerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13626923883424982455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-50721882829619657802012-02-24T16:22:08.387-05:002012-02-24T16:22:08.387-05:00No. This doesn't sound like a natural part of ...No. This doesn't sound like a natural part of whatever scene it's in, like it's trying too hard.A Little Pushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08081183739979996879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-63075897690432987962012-02-24T15:06:10.107-05:002012-02-24T15:06:10.107-05:00Yes.
Many of you are saying we're all born n...Yes. <br /><br />Many of you are saying we're all born naked, which is true, but "mooning" is a deliberate juvenile act. (and yes, some of my friends and I went "mooning" one night in high school). So, to me, I see a rebel in the first sentence. It's like he flipped off the world as soon as he arrived and has been flipping it off ever since. I sense the posibility of redemption in this story.<br /><br />And I laughed.Danika dinsmorehttp://theaccidentalnovelist.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-53085117663669526012012-02-24T12:26:29.219-05:002012-02-24T12:26:29.219-05:00No. I was.......doesn't work for ....passive.....No. I was.......doesn't work for ....passive...but the mooning the world did get my attentionNata Cynthia Artistadonnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09790244390075247862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-68090931734526043012012-02-24T08:59:36.506-05:002012-02-24T08:59:36.506-05:00No. As others have said...felt like I heard this o...No. As others have said...felt like I heard this one before.geewizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05851827620960530141noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-84441286557645893472012-02-24T03:19:06.645-05:002012-02-24T03:19:06.645-05:00Yes. It made me smile, and want to know what comes...Yes. It made me smile, and want to know what comes next.Steph Suhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09834692034486125015noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-29553544106717089862012-02-24T01:29:31.748-05:002012-02-24T01:29:31.748-05:00Yes. I get a good sense of the voice, and it's...Yes. I get a good sense of the voice, and it's funny (I will almost always vote for funny).Beth Hnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-60990159551792191402012-02-24T00:29:00.554-05:002012-02-24T00:29:00.554-05:00No.
I actually like the attitude inherant in the ...No. <br />I actually like the attitude inherant in the voice, but I think I've heard Bart Simpson use that line, or close.Jo-Annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15705983780352542190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-91229803681929593172012-02-23T22:22:13.547-05:002012-02-23T22:22:13.547-05:00Yes. This is hilarious, and I want to see where yo...Yes. This is hilarious, and I want to see where you're going with it.Juliahttp://www.juliathewritergirl.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-87861726267213252282012-02-23T19:54:38.417-05:002012-02-23T19:54:38.417-05:00No. I was born butt-first and I sure wouldn't ...No. I was born butt-first and I sure wouldn't want to read a book about me. It is funny, and maybe with some context it might work, but as a stand-alone first line it didn't really make me want to read what was next. Sorry.Wen Baragreyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17741246296963740806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-91853207813918144852012-02-23T18:25:00.256-05:002012-02-23T18:25:00.256-05:00Yes. What a way to start your life, haha.Yes. What a way to start your life, haha.Amanda S. Gardnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03865077959290947501noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-83731855462571631412012-02-23T18:21:22.791-05:002012-02-23T18:21:22.791-05:00No. My first thought was also, aren't we all? ...No. My first thought was also, aren't we all? Then, I realized oh, no we aren't, but I wonder if a teen is going to pick up on that subtlety. After all, I've even given birth twice and i had to pause a minute. I don't think you want that on your first line. But, (no pun intneded) I do like the idea/humor- can you rephrase it slightly?sbjameshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06986950185596914217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-674330195482059082012-02-23T16:46:10.595-05:002012-02-23T16:46:10.595-05:00Yes. Very funny and I immediately get it (that is,...Yes. Very funny and I immediately get it (that is, assuming the narrator was born breech.)Cherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02106422736653397018noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-47584303468612878062012-02-23T16:38:49.595-05:002012-02-23T16:38:49.595-05:00Yes.
It was close, though, and I'm giving it ...Yes.<br /><br />It was close, though, and I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt. Technically, we're all born mooning the world, but I do like the attitude and irreverance that comes across with the observation. <br /><br />But this is entirely a sentence that I'm prepared to take on faith that it relates immediately to what's going on in the current scene.<br /><br />If this sentence is followed by a bunch of exposition about how much of an irreverant attitude the narrator has, then you've lost me. If the sentence is followed by immediate action/consequences where the MC is doing something similar, showing that he hasn't really changed all that much, then I'll find it homorous. (Except mooning strikes me as YA... I might be wrong though)<br /><br />If, however, this turns into a werewolf story, I will heavily roll my eyes at the over-the-top moon reference on line one.Heathernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-64398424156116750642012-02-23T16:15:55.279-05:002012-02-23T16:15:55.279-05:00Yes! Funny commentary on the way a person is born....Yes! Funny commentary on the way a person is born.Vivi B.https://www.blogger.com/profile/05054647527562570624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-16458918621101632392012-02-23T15:41:04.720-05:002012-02-23T15:41:04.720-05:00Yes! Cute, and sets the stage. She's not moo...Yes! Cute, and sets the stage. She's not mooning the hospital staff, the setting feels like the outdoors, a little wild.Sarah Floydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11202671048418865629noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-68895336404584180952012-02-23T14:38:40.724-05:002012-02-23T14:38:40.724-05:00No. It made me chuckle, but it didn't make me...No. It made me chuckle, but it didn't make me interested.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11607291218714097810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-84762235838575418692012-02-23T14:32:38.669-05:002012-02-23T14:32:38.669-05:00Cheeky! It made me laugh, so yeah, I'd continu...Cheeky! It made me laugh, so yeah, I'd continue on.DJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14359760998871484565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-73097081535360738952012-02-23T14:31:08.412-05:002012-02-23T14:31:08.412-05:00No. I agree that it's *almost* there, but I ne...No. I agree that it's *almost* there, but I need something else to make this one stand out. As others have gotten at, what made this naked baby different than all other naked babies?Shakier Anthemhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16169934547082128953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-2229367949296951822012-02-23T14:29:09.333-05:002012-02-23T14:29:09.333-05:00No, but I do agree with the others. The voice is t...No, but I do agree with the others. The voice is there,Pattihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00685341739870191402noreply@blogger.com