tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post2644951861800496728..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: First Sentence #41Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger50125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-53556669240143156272013-06-28T15:08:10.013-04:002013-06-28T15:08:10.013-04:00Yes, I like the voice.Yes, I like the voice.Kariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06962917012537316092noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-2807309294930888252013-06-28T14:43:09.119-04:002013-06-28T14:43:09.119-04:00A grudging yes, but it doesn't read smoothly a...A grudging yes, but it doesn't read smoothly and I dislike the MC addressing the reader.Pataknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-5403397619537191142013-06-28T07:15:01.520-04:002013-06-28T07:15:01.520-04:00Yes. Ha -- love the voice. The "you're&qu...Yes. Ha -- love the voice. The "you're" threw me a bit, not a fan of talking to the reader, but I would read more.Sarah Floydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11202671048418865629noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-88916009363583344252013-06-28T03:41:07.526-04:002013-06-28T03:41:07.526-04:00Yep. I'm hooked. I want to know why he/she is ...Yep. I'm hooked. I want to know why he/she is going to die, why they can still do chores before hand, and I love that it's got voice. Though you don't tell us which 'person' it is (As in 1st, 2nd, or 3rd). I'd guess 1st, but you might be doing something different, like 2nd, which is what's it's in. Just something to think about.Mimehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03166384979716659441noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-80419564206021229952013-06-28T03:22:19.621-04:002013-06-28T03:22:19.621-04:00No--It's a statement, rather than story and ha...No--It's a statement, rather than story and has little substance. I'd rather know why he was sentenced to death, and who it was that condemned him. What did he do to deserve the death penalty? I think the answers would be more compelling than a throw away line.<br />Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15769803733067838372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-21088278875455413992013-06-28T00:46:37.937-04:002013-06-28T00:46:37.937-04:00Yes. I liked the humor. Yes. I liked the humor. KariSnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-32453704025161040422013-06-27T22:52:53.483-04:002013-06-27T22:52:53.483-04:00Yes. I like the voice. Yes. I like the voice. Tony Acreehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10645967310766453710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-6030477870040399232013-06-27T22:39:36.229-04:002013-06-27T22:39:36.229-04:00Yes. It made me laugh but it also intrigued me and...Yes. It made me laugh but it also intrigued me and made me want to keep reading. Aightballhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10706831888613374173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-27271984581237527252013-06-27T21:45:32.365-04:002013-06-27T21:45:32.365-04:00No. Perhaps because I hate chores and I'd use ...No. Perhaps because I hate chores and I'd use a death sentence as an excuse not to do them. Hard to relate to a character in the first line who is the opposite of yourself.KayChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16267506508468548195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-81897255066970384952013-06-27T20:56:39.064-04:002013-06-27T20:56:39.064-04:00Yes. The voice pops out right in that sentence.Yes. The voice pops out right in that sentence.The Kranky Crowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03540879407267148397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-27205968647748471632013-06-27T20:47:45.072-04:002013-06-27T20:47:45.072-04:00Yes. I like the attitude.Yes. I like the attitude.amhogganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08831363893894165135noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-73356319766195693642013-06-27T19:16:40.345-04:002013-06-27T19:16:40.345-04:00Yes. Funny and no frills. Second person POV wouldn...Yes. Funny and no frills. Second person POV wouldn't be my first choice though.Pinaynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-50856501699093006572013-06-27T18:18:05.402-04:002013-06-27T18:18:05.402-04:00Yes. It's a fun line, I just hope the rest of ...Yes. It's a fun line, I just hope the rest of the story keeps up with it.Danielle La Pagliahttp://www.daniellelapaglia.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-89011217025387436332013-06-27T18:14:18.783-04:002013-06-27T18:14:18.783-04:00Yes, I'd read more to find out why the charact...Yes, I'd read more to find out why the character is being sent to her death. I like her laid-back attitude and would like to get to know what makes her tick. (Or him, sorry.) erica and christyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13074820593371226159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-76645612847112022412013-06-27T18:09:45.975-04:002013-06-27T18:09:45.975-04:00Yes. This is awesome. It sets up great character a...Yes. This is awesome. It sets up great character and voice.Joan Hehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14241547000296152599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-7286391217051184912013-06-27T18:08:39.086-04:002013-06-27T18:08:39.086-04:00Yes, it sounds just like a kid.Yes, it sounds just like a kid.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-56195792612230805002013-06-27T17:55:04.860-04:002013-06-27T17:55:04.860-04:00Yes. I'd keep reading. I want to know more abo...Yes. I'd keep reading. I want to know more about the situation.camelamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15047366798106484542noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-21395973374260985302013-06-27T16:39:32.173-04:002013-06-27T16:39:32.173-04:00No
Feels to familiar to me. Nothing to hook me, I ...No<br />Feels to familiar to me. Nothing to hook me, I feel like it's been done before.<br />Kennedynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-51099921034414531242013-06-27T16:29:58.610-04:002013-06-27T16:29:58.610-04:00Yes--although the POV is a little wonky to me (the...Yes--although the POV is a little wonky to me (the "you"), as this sounds more like dialogue. I have read YAs where the narrator is chatty with the reader, so it could definitely work.Stephscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06328839483008086049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-45254226305275407362013-06-27T16:23:25.801-04:002013-06-27T16:23:25.801-04:00Yes! It's intriguing and funny - the voice is ...Yes! It's intriguing and funny - the voice is very obviously tongue in cheek - and established in this one sentence. Wow!Marilee Hayneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16757885702409755120noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-75266351173546050172013-06-27T16:20:55.766-04:002013-06-27T16:20:55.766-04:00Yes. I'm interested in this character's v...Yes. I'm interested in this character's voice, and the dark humor utilized.Chrohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07768990128419496674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-71756708978171996212013-06-27T15:37:24.162-04:002013-06-27T15:37:24.162-04:00No. I don't like the use of second person. I f...No. I don't like the use of second person. I find it irritating before too long. MollyBnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-33203144352923518882013-06-27T15:11:42.708-04:002013-06-27T15:11:42.708-04:00Yes. This is exactly the type of offbeat humor tha...Yes. This is exactly the type of offbeat humor that makes me want to keep reading.zellarellinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-3082694380939305722013-06-27T14:56:50.436-04:002013-06-27T14:56:50.436-04:00No. I was torn on this one. I definitely get a fee...No. I was torn on this one. I definitely get a feel of the character. But if the MC is truly being sent to his/her death, the blasé attitude was a bit over-the-top for me.tarakhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11879814735940426961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-51932453105694065962013-06-27T14:54:32.832-04:002013-06-27T14:54:32.832-04:00Yes. Love the voice and dry humor.Yes. Love the voice and dry humor.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03842761852069023467noreply@blogger.com