tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post2894461012626760961..comments2024-03-19T03:20:39.801-04:00Comments on Authoress: May Secret Agent #17Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-72849914300875438362015-05-22T15:24:54.222-04:002015-05-22T15:24:54.222-04:00This made me laugh! Super fun. I would definitely ...This made me laugh! Super fun. I would definitely read more of this. <br /><br />I recommend doing a search for places to tighten. This sentence, for example, feels a touch wordy: <br /><br />She wondered if this would be just another of her many failed attempts to find the one who could break her curse.<br /><br />Overall, nice work!Secret Agentnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-87021065597644236152015-05-21T19:58:11.428-04:002015-05-21T19:58:11.428-04:00Absolutely adorable! Would so love to read! Great ...Absolutely adorable! Would so love to read! Great voice and fun world.<br />Just be careful about tense:<br /><br />She'D settled on one offering a special—five hours rental for the price of four at a rate better than Gem had found elsewhere in the greater tri-kingdom area. The dragon’s demeanor created doubts, but she'D had little choice.Laur.Rosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09063268884223543907noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-18460594608425663812015-05-20T22:28:21.564-04:002015-05-20T22:28:21.564-04:00I love this! The voice is great. You have some rea...I love this! The voice is great. You have some really cute lines in here, starting with the first two sentences. I am wondering so many things - why did her list dwindle? why did she have to rent a dragon? I usually don't read princess stories, but I would love to read this and find the answers to all my questions! Thanks!Halli Gomezhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09667712458691917486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-73184960202041881672015-05-20T18:20:41.233-04:002015-05-20T18:20:41.233-04:00It is very bright and adorable. there's a litt...It is very bright and adorable. there's a little of the bass-akward sentences (I do this a lot) They’d haggled a bit before settling terms. She knew to be cautious—half now, half when the job was done—having been burned by a dragon once before.<br /><br />should be <br /><br />They’d haggled a bit before settling terms. She knew to be cautious having been burned by a dragon once before. Half now, half when the job was done.<br /><br />I do wonder if true love is middle grade, it seems more YA but that could be me. *shrug*<br /><br />I like the voice.Julie Butcherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15055134290787317245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-31644930593321974822015-05-20T17:46:33.068-04:002015-05-20T17:46:33.068-04:00This is the perfect blend of the familiar and the ...This is the perfect blend of the familiar and the modern that always makes me laugh. I would definitely read more.fakestephhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08178042157823156839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-80527673775478076112015-05-20T15:05:03.209-04:002015-05-20T15:05:03.209-04:00This is fun. Like the fact she's dwindled down...This is fun. Like the fact she's dwindled down her list to only two items. The dragon is a hoot and the last line is priceless.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing and good luck. Don McFatridgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13554281247528998061noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-29724354632729157082015-05-20T14:06:50.487-04:002015-05-20T14:06:50.487-04:00I like this, especially that last line! :) One lit...I like this, especially that last line! :) One little thing...the long paragraph in the middle read a bit wordy for MG. Sonia Campbellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12481616834374674879noreply@blogger.com