tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post3156312767100765526..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: 21 Drop The Needle TENSIONAuthoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-88383315792669612812008-10-31T11:38:00.000-04:002008-10-31T11:38:00.000-04:00This is wonderfully bizarre. :) I'm not sure "te...This is wonderfully bizarre. :) I'm not sure "tension" describes my reaction, but I absolutely enjoyed the scene; it's well written.<BR/><BR/>Good work!Authoresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-66472671834766487912008-10-30T21:14:00.000-04:002008-10-30T21:14:00.000-04:00This reminds me of a Dali painting -- very, very v...This reminds me of a Dali painting -- very, very vivid, creepy imagery. Nice job! The tension is subtle but nicely handled. :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-12200405214896840982008-10-30T18:55:00.000-04:002008-10-30T18:55:00.000-04:00I really liked this, though the tension was more o...I really liked this, though the tension was more of the goosebumps kind :-) Also, the snake using the word "gonna" really threw me--I guess I always thought snakes would use more formal language.Meradeth Houstonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06741790047121063893noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-60514251029780984682008-10-30T09:50:00.000-04:002008-10-30T09:50:00.000-04:00This is definitely... strange. :)There is a dreaml...This is definitely... strange. :)<BR/><BR/>There is a dreamlike quality in this scene... it might mess with the tension, because I don't feel like the character is in danger at any point. <BR/><BR/>That said, it really makes me curious about what will happen next. If she's going to either grab the pen or be squirted by it. And what she is going to learn about herself. And what the time "11:27" means....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-18936565966159720942008-10-29T23:07:00.000-04:002008-10-29T23:07:00.000-04:00Good writing, good descriptions.I'm not sure I fel...Good writing, good descriptions.<BR/><BR/>I'm not sure I felt tension but I did feel fear and confusion.danceluvrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16357250951481805093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-77366959258849931512008-10-29T22:52:00.000-04:002008-10-29T22:52:00.000-04:00Thanks for all the comments, everyone - I apprecia...Thanks for all the comments, everyone - I appreciate it. Glad it's creepy! Lori, to answer your question - the story takes place in current times in another world (setup is based on Hopi mythology) that can import stuff from ours, like the pen. <BR/>Also, it's not a dream, the snake says her life is a dream because just before this she has been trying to convince herself it's just a dream.<BR/>Thanks again for all the comments and feedback. I love this site.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-84111377774882946232008-10-29T22:40:00.000-04:002008-10-29T22:40:00.000-04:00Interesting. Good tension, and it's okay that we ...Interesting. Good tension, and it's okay that we don't quite know what's going on.<BR/><BR/>Question: what time period is this taking place in? I think I read a previous chapter elsewhere, and remember it being pseudo-medieval. If so, then the pen rolling off a table bit can't work, as the round pen design didn't become popular until the mid 1800s. In medieval times, they still used quills and the occasional charcoal.LoriStronginhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10764202539292045963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-6565574501931990512008-10-29T22:37:00.000-04:002008-10-29T22:37:00.000-04:00It's a great dream scene with wonderful imagery, b...It's a great dream scene with wonderful imagery, but I'm on the fence about tension. This is a dream, which kind of robs it of its tension. It's not real, so there are no risks and no danger.Karen Duvallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01839711547501582977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-89381760851118293172008-10-29T21:19:00.000-04:002008-10-29T21:19:00.000-04:00Creepy tension galore. Great use of showing here.Creepy tension galore. Great use of showing here.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-24382220202257420472008-10-29T19:31:00.000-04:002008-10-29T19:31:00.000-04:00Loved this, especially the ending.Great tension.Loved this, especially the ending.<BR/><BR/>Great tension.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03216407428320615449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-1943311376653137072008-10-29T19:16:00.000-04:002008-10-29T19:16:00.000-04:00This has a really creepy feel and subtle tension. ...This has a really creepy feel and subtle tension. I really liked it, especially the snakes coming to life and her feet aching with cold.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-45595508669693446132008-10-29T15:33:00.000-04:002008-10-29T15:33:00.000-04:00Not sure if this is tense, but it is creepy. Every...Not sure if this is tense, but it is creepy. <BR/><BR/>Everytime we get a sample of this story it's always something kooky weird! Great imagery, as usual.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-53861725286664795202008-10-29T11:58:00.000-04:002008-10-29T11:58:00.000-04:00This gave me goosebumps. I love all of the showing...This gave me goosebumps. I love all of the showing, rather than telling in this scene. The clocks in the eyes reading 11:27 was a nice touch. Well done!Anna Clairehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08774415814789806840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-90212974648982700502008-10-29T11:22:00.000-04:002008-10-29T11:22:00.000-04:00I'm not sure what I'm feeling as I read this is Sa...I'm not sure what I'm feeling as I read this is <I>Sam's</I> tension, but it's hella weird and I definitely want to read more!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com