tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post344930293669255995..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: (52) YA Contemporary: Rip Her to ShredsAuthoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-72002941370863583172012-12-04T11:54:10.958-05:002012-12-04T11:54:10.958-05:00Yes, yes (sulks away...) Yes, yes (sulks away...) Josh Getzlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01141722943145348820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-52420178961669529352012-12-04T11:52:29.534-05:002012-12-04T11:52:29.534-05:00Okay, I adore you both, and this one goes to Joan....Okay, I adore you both, and this one goes to Joan.<br /><br />BIDDING ON THIS ITEM IS NOW CLOSED.Authoresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-38394946771262846982012-12-04T11:42:08.334-05:002012-12-04T11:42:08.334-05:00It was a win-win, really--because if you were righ...It was a win-win, really--because if you were right then I'd have won that other one I lost. Your semi-exclusive is tempting, but... no. I'll keep my dibs ;)Ammi-Joan Paquettenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-27117699701926405222012-12-04T11:39:09.261-05:002012-12-04T11:39:09.261-05:00I meant, of course, Ammi!I meant, of course, Ammi!Josh Getzlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01141722943145348820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-61165090054423880862012-12-04T11:38:30.531-05:002012-12-04T11:38:30.531-05:00Ami, I messed up--my apologies. I was just looking...Ami, I messed up--my apologies. I was just looking back, and it said 150 AND five bids, not OR. I should have done 150/Full. You win if you want, or if you want, we can ask for a semi-exclusive...and fight for it later :)Josh Getzlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01141722943145348820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-17886011546359204352012-12-04T11:26:15.733-05:002012-12-04T11:26:15.733-05:00Oh... then I'm confused... *scratches head*
S...Oh... then I'm confused... *scratches head* <br />So someone did NOT steal that other ms from me on the other thread?Ammi-Joan Paquettenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-61142024017202202012012-12-04T11:25:00.080-05:002012-12-04T11:25:00.080-05:00Gosh, this is hard!Gosh, this is hard!Danielle Chiottinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-23355182695654481492012-12-04T11:23:28.021-05:002012-12-04T11:23:28.021-05:00Not if there are already 5 bids!Not if there are already 5 bids!Josh Getzlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01141722943145348820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-55290927214680120462012-12-04T11:22:58.025-05:002012-12-04T11:22:58.025-05:00I got that one already :)I got that one already :)Josh Getzlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01141722943145348820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-70841096315738319232012-12-04T11:22:54.929-05:002012-12-04T11:22:54.929-05:00I messed that one up last time--gotta get to 150!!...I messed that one up last time--gotta get to 150!!Ammi-Joan Paquettenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-78957469356831961702012-12-04T11:22:19.691-05:002012-12-04T11:22:19.691-05:00and fulland fullAmmi-Joan Paquettenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-9423930813510546802012-12-04T11:22:10.430-05:002012-12-04T11:22:10.430-05:00150150Ammi-Joan Paquettenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-9780704722050346052012-12-04T11:19:49.863-05:002012-12-04T11:19:49.863-05:00fullfullJosh Getzlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01141722943145348820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-56430735261355033782012-12-04T11:19:08.052-05:002012-12-04T11:19:08.052-05:00120, baby.120, baby.Danielle Chiottihttp://www.upstartcrowliterary.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-89288378799648807942012-12-04T11:17:54.627-05:002012-12-04T11:17:54.627-05:00100100Josh Getzlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01141722943145348820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-9743027154178165482012-12-04T11:17:13.174-05:002012-12-04T11:17:13.174-05:008585Danielle Chiottihttp://www.upstartcrowliterary.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-62246482690626794462012-12-04T11:16:03.398-05:002012-12-04T11:16:03.398-05:006565Ammi-Joan Paquettenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-52413987673706634942012-12-04T11:05:55.981-05:002012-12-04T11:05:55.981-05:004545danielle Chiottinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-38178328226547649592012-12-04T11:02:45.862-05:002012-12-04T11:02:45.862-05:00This one really appealed to me. I bid 5 pages!This one really appealed to me. I bid 5 pages!danielle Chiottihttp://www.upstartcrowliterary.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-54701160816501779542012-12-04T05:42:22.798-05:002012-12-04T05:42:22.798-05:00A contemporary story——— that rocks!!!!
Only niggl...A contemporary story——— that rocks!!!!<br /><br />Only niggle? I kind of wish the last line ended with Charlie flexed her fingers around it, losing the rest...<br /><br />That is all!<br /><br />Good luck!Samantha Véranthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07446488761214047647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-2138921422430300042012-12-03T20:36:34.348-05:002012-12-03T20:36:34.348-05:00What immediately worked for me was the list. It’s ...What immediately worked for me was the list. It’s precise. It gets us right into the setting. It’s self-mocking. I would change the “finally” to “eleven”. I found it jarring that she switches out after she’s been counting. But, of course, that could just be me.<br /><br />I’m actually going to go against the masses and say that I’m quite intrigued by the idea of someone maybe not wanting the spotlight, but being torn because expressing that wish means letting others down. But I’m going to agree with Myra McEntire here (hi Myra, my love!) that I was confused by where we ended up, since your main character seems to have shaken off the nerves and thoughts of self-sabotage, and is getting ready to let go and rock out.<br /><br />Another thing that has me a little confused from logline to sample is where are we? This seems like a battle of the bands type contest. Is that what launches the Wretched Gretchens on tour? Because we’re coming into the narrative in the middle of action, I’d love some grounding to understand the context for all of this. I think you can sneak in a line just fleshing the significance of the contest out somewhere in here. It can be quite short. But it will give your reader something concrete as he or she moves forward. Alison Weisshttps://twitter.com/EgmontUSAnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-54966700716574810092012-12-03T14:31:20.350-05:002012-12-03T14:31:20.350-05:00I don't exactly understand what's going on...I don't exactly understand what's going on by the end. I know she wants to sabotage when she starts, but does she change her mind? <br /><br />I like the details, and I'm definitely with her on the jitters. I *saw* this scene, and that's a great thing. I'd want to keep going to see what Charlie decides!Myra McEntirehttp://myramcentire.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-79541658613122053232012-12-03T10:16:31.233-05:002012-12-03T10:16:31.233-05:00Love your premise - I'd definitely read more. ...Love your premise - I'd definitely read more. The opening line was a bit long and might work better if you shortened it up. <br /><br />Nice job using the setting to give the reader a feel for who Charlie is and what she is doing. I loved the sensory details you used to describe what it feels like for Charlie to be on stage with the band. I felt like I was there!<br /><br />Good luck in the auction!Melissa Gorzelanczykhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04949628097688877510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-55620961209254309952012-12-02T11:54:11.422-05:002012-12-02T11:54:11.422-05:00I liked virtually everything about this. Nit-pick:...I liked virtually everything about this. Nit-pick: I think the sentence about middle-aged men and crowd surfing rambles a bit. It took me three times to understand what you meant. Just tighten it up.<br /><br />Good luck.Milhaudnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-58924312958020340422012-12-02T07:03:19.746-05:002012-12-02T07:03:19.746-05:00Hi there!
Well, it's no secret that this is ...Hi there! <br /><br />Well, it's no secret that this is one of my favorites, but I will try (very hard) not to gush.<br /><br />The first several lines is one of the best I've read in a long time. I notice since the last time I've read this that you've broken it up from a larger chunk into separate, standalone paragraphs/one-liners, and I think this was a great decision. It highlights Charlie's panicked internal thoughts and the fact that she's mulling over a series of choices (one worse than the next). I love it.<br /><br />This may be an unpopular opinion, but I think all of the internal thoughts are perfect for this first 250. Charlie is basically having a panic attack, and the fact that she's sort of stuck in her own head with this crazy internal debate rings true for me. <br /><br />Good luck! I sincerely hope Rip Her to Shreds finds a home! (I've reserved a spot on my bookshelf.)Jeanmarie Anayahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15444097096666633756noreply@blogger.com