tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post3467142661902883057..comments2024-03-29T05:54:33.136-04:00Comments on Authoress: January Secret Agent #11Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-91310685733365892482012-01-29T21:46:11.647-05:002012-01-29T21:46:11.647-05:00I've been reading through all of the entries, ...I've been reading through all of the entries, and though I've found several that I really liked, this is the first one I feel compelled to comment on and say that I would totally read this. I hope the rest of it is as good. :-)Maddynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-20166697726189406702012-01-29T19:02:21.956-05:002012-01-29T19:02:21.956-05:00Clever, playful, patient, and all sorts of good st...Clever, playful, patient, and all sorts of good stuff...the man's "What? That pile of junk?" line felt a bit run-of-the-mill to me, but the rest was sharp and perfectly enjoyable...excellent work!Secret Agentnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-31388698723962010802012-01-28T12:26:52.044-05:002012-01-28T12:26:52.044-05:00What a great opening! I'd definitely read mor...What a great opening! I'd definitely read more. And I liked the fact that she was a laundress with some talent at mechanics than the typical flyer, scientist, etc. <br /><br />I don't know where you're taking it, but I'd keep reading to find out.Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15769803733067838372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-29677071993293323192012-01-25T21:36:44.059-05:002012-01-25T21:36:44.059-05:00Great job! Molly is a character I already love--sh...Great job! Molly is a character I already love--she's spunky and resourceful. <br /><br />My only recommendation is to follow Rebecca's advice about clearing up whose bosom he's got his hand on.A.J. Cattapanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12658717054736277339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-29532271987636145522012-01-25T19:48:09.624-05:002012-01-25T19:48:09.624-05:00I love this. Molly is my kind of woman, and the fa...I love this. Molly is my kind of woman, and the fact that she is an inventor makes her even more interesting.<br /><br />I think you should let us know who's bosom he has aholt of, just for clarity.<br /><br />Definitely worth reading. Best of luck with it.Cordelia Dinsmorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10704456269484202163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-38754282650945024232012-01-25T18:03:20.350-05:002012-01-25T18:03:20.350-05:00This is one of my favorite excerpts I've read ...This is one of my favorite excerpts I've read in the secret agent blog enteries. Strong writing and great dialogue. I don't gravitate toward steampunk because it's usually too overwritten for my taste. This totally isn't. Nice work!Stephscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06328839483008086049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-19647233308167102902012-01-25T17:07:13.539-05:002012-01-25T17:07:13.539-05:00Just chiming in to say I thought this was a lot of...Just chiming in to say I thought this was a lot of fun. I love that the main character is a laundress, rather than a lady or scientist or something more expected.Rosalynhttp://thinkingthroughourfingers.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-84453105622412895922012-01-25T16:30:45.354-05:002012-01-25T16:30:45.354-05:00Your title grabbed me instantly - good work.
I lo...Your title grabbed me instantly - good work.<br /><br />I loved how you introduced SP elements right away, and that Molly is a great character.<br /><br />I'd definitely keep on reading:)Anne Michaudhttp://annecmichaud.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-66184736468634794522012-01-25T16:29:54.499-05:002012-01-25T16:29:54.499-05:00Love it! Funny and engaging.Love it! Funny and engaging.Carolynnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-54602707470363386822012-01-25T14:13:53.965-05:002012-01-25T14:13:53.965-05:00This is good. You give a clear picture of the prot...This is good. You give a clear picture of the protagonist. A few things I might modify- change motionless to terrified, borrow to buy(since he is holding a nickel), and how can she tell the wanderer is a 'thinking' man?magmonkey34noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-11884145776028322792012-01-25T12:19:12.273-05:002012-01-25T12:19:12.273-05:00I thought the first line was awkward. I think you ...I thought the first line was awkward. I think you can drop "or the prospect of either" and the statement stands on its own. I love the dialogue, and am intrigued by the idea of Molly inventing a washing machine. I'd read on.Shannonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-46064256632088259922012-01-25T11:55:28.119-05:002012-01-25T11:55:28.119-05:00Maybe change the word "observe" to "...Maybe change the word "observe" to "eye". He's a scoundrel, and the words observe just seems too gentleman-like.<br /><br />I also think it would help to state who's bosom he had his hand around. We get a few paragraphs later that it was with a hire helper, but until that point, I had no idea who he was holding on to. Maybe something like...<br /><br />"He held up a nickle that sparkled in the moonlight, his other hand firmly around a young woman named Mercy."Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15525362690272102453noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-46498952521632264562012-01-25T10:36:50.808-05:002012-01-25T10:36:50.808-05:00This is nice. Well written good job.
My only pet p...This is nice. Well written good job.<br />My only pet peeve is the word observe, but that's just me.CBnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-6667294937556754182012-01-25T10:09:22.626-05:002012-01-25T10:09:22.626-05:00I'm not usually one for steampunk, but I'd...I'm not usually one for steampunk, but I'd continue reading because Molly's got some spunk. And I love the idea of laundry and baths in the same place. Hah!<br /><br />There's a punctuation issue in your first sentence; consider reworking.Nicolehttp://www.nicolewolverton.comnoreply@blogger.com