tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post4197322214165622579..comments2024-03-29T03:41:44.480-04:00Comments on Authoress: Grab My Heart #27Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-54132337176509841952019-01-31T11:48:21.742-05:002019-01-31T11:48:21.742-05:00INSTEAD OF GETTING A LOAN,, I GOT SOMETHING NEW
G...INSTEAD OF GETTING A LOAN,, I GOT SOMETHING NEW<br />Get $5,500 USD every day, for six months!<br /><br />See how it works<br />Do you know you can hack into any ATM machine with a hacked ATM card??<br />Make up you mind before applying, straight deal...<br /><br />Order for a blank ATM card now and get millions within a week!: contact us<br />via email address::{Automatictellers@gmail.com}<br /> <br />We have specially programmed ATM cards that can be use to hack ATM<br />machines, the ATM cards can be used to withdraw at the ATM or swipe, at<br />stores and POS. We sell this cards to all our customers and interested<br />buyers worldwide, the card has a daily withdrawal limit of $5,500 on ATM<br />and up to $50,000 spending limit in stores depending on the kind of card<br />you order for:: and also if you are in need of any other cyber hack<br />services, we are here for you anytime any day.<br /><br />Here is our price lists for the ATM CARDS:<br /><br />Cards that withdraw $5,500 per day costs $200 USD<br />Cards that withdraw $10,000 per day costs $850 USD<br />Cards that withdraw $35,000 per day costs $2,200 USD<br />Cards that withdraw $50,000 per day costs $5,500 USD<br />Cards that withdraw $100,000 per day costs $8,500 USD<br /><br />make up your mind before applying, straight deal!!!<br /><br />The price include shipping fees and charges, order now: contact us via<br />email address:: {Automatictellers@gmail.com}<br /><br />Visit our Website for more Info: automatictellers.wordpress.com<br />®Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-5324278968760717912018-12-13T07:47:43.480-05:002018-12-13T07:47:43.480-05:00How well are you prepared for a cyber incident or ...How well are you prepared for a cyber incident or breach? Is your data safe?.<br /> Strengthen your cybersecurity stance by contacting CLASSIC CYBER NOTCH @ GMAIL DOT COM for a Perfect, Unique, Classic and Professional Job in securing your Network against Breaches of All Sort and also we do virtually All kind of Cyber Jobs, be it Cyber Security or Hijacking without trace and with utmost Professionalism and Confidentiality. <br /><br /> We offer services such as :<br /> Private investigators service <br /> Phone /Computer hack <br /> Clearing criminal record <br /> Binary options recovery <br /> Bit coin mining <br /> Increase Credit score <br /> Issue Blank ATM <br /> Spyware installation <br /> Social media platform hack <br /> E-mail hack <br /> and many more....<br /> Our Success Rate is Top Notch <br /><br /> Contact us today @<br /> Classic cyber notch @ gmail dot com<br />to get the Best professional hands involved in putting a smile on your face. <br /><br /> Signed<br /> Collins .A<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00212441763212316772noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-49171790596676294922018-07-18T20:06:34.862-04:002018-07-18T20:06:34.862-04:00Intriguing premise. I'd be interested in readi...Intriguing premise. I'd be interested in reading more. A caveat: we don't know your MC yet. We haven't connected with him. We aren't emotionally invested in him. Having him think about how much he hates his father in the very first sentence of the story could alienate some readers. If readers haven't had a chance to care about him yet, they might decide reflexively that they don't like him. Your MC might have an excellent reason for hating his father, but maybe show us the father's actions first, then show us the MC's reaction. Then we can hate his father along with him.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05986859719155564897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-13393420537901240452018-07-18T19:46:43.927-04:002018-07-18T19:46:43.927-04:00I like the atmosphere you created in this opening....I like the atmosphere you created in this opening. Rather than reveal the prince hates his father right away, if you delete that line, it lends more suspense to the line before it, "an idea simmered inside his head." Then I want to know what this idea is. Selkienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-21987117019986355052018-07-18T19:27:22.008-04:002018-07-18T19:27:22.008-04:00The conversation between the father and son is wel...The conversation between the father and son is well-written, so my comments are reduced to nitpicky items. Each is quite subjective. The first ellipsis adds compelling emphasis on "illness," but the second ellipsis makes the sentence feel disjointed, especially out loud. The back to back ellipsis probably wouldn't sound well together in the audiobook version of the book.<br /><br />The fact that Agmund hates is father seems to be the hook of the opening line, but it's delayed behind less important descriptive information. It might be worth looking at ways to reorder the opening sentence.<br /><br />For the ending paragraph, since the physical effect is heat, might something along the lines of bursting into flames be a more apt thought for Agmund than thinking his head might explode?ETSmithhttps://twitter.com/eltsmithnoreply@blogger.com