tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post4690089677047830252..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: First Kiss #18Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-14111208841286231132011-02-03T15:48:46.319-05:002011-02-03T15:48:46.319-05:00I don’t have any sense of the characters here. No...I don’t have any sense of the characters here. No idea what they’re thinking or feeling.Chris P.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-26638023064809654732011-02-03T13:09:31.111-05:002011-02-03T13:09:31.111-05:00Interesting. I agree that you need to include at l...Interesting. I agree that you need to include at least some brief description of the kiss and a little more emotion.Melindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17182951575531989338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-49163948270579055902011-02-03T00:30:26.771-05:002011-02-03T00:30:26.771-05:00I have to agree. No emotion. It left me a bit flat...I have to agree. No emotion. It left me a bit flat. But I did like the information about the chinese way.Michael Di Gesuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17047267262428143113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-25638039517452442692011-02-02T19:19:17.258-05:002011-02-02T19:19:17.258-05:00This is a sweet scene, but it's emotionless. W...This is a sweet scene, but it's emotionless. What is she feeling and experienceing? I want you to show her nerves, her excitement, her passion, her...anything. Show us the kiss, let us experience with her, don't just tell us it happened.Danielle La Pagliahttp://www.daniellelapaglia.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-45317671466077889852011-02-02T17:08:24.389-05:002011-02-02T17:08:24.389-05:00I'm with Sarah. I wanted to see the kiss. Th...I'm with Sarah. I wanted to see the kiss. The scene is too cold and unemotional without it. It's like two people signing a business contract. If you want it to have that feel, then this is fine, but if you want the reader to see that they really care about, and are committed to each other, I think you need to show the kiss.Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15769803733067838372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-31331784924813470332011-02-02T14:09:32.856-05:002011-02-02T14:09:32.856-05:00No offense to Sara, but I think you don't need...No offense to Sara, but I think you don't need to describe the kiss. The point (at least what I think the point is) was to show us how different the Chinese way was. You explained it briefly and then showed us with him asking to kiss you.<br /><br />This is beautiful.Adrienne Barrhttp://www.adriennebarr.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-60009953102908231502011-02-02T13:38:04.296-05:002011-02-02T13:38:04.296-05:00Ah, I think you cop out here: "After a long k...Ah, I think you cop out here: "After a long kiss ..." I'm not one to recommend detailed description, but you need to at least show the motion of it, her leaning in, him leaning in, lips touching, how it made her feel. Not just skip the whole event and jump to him holding her hands!Sara J. Henryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16145626175256433448noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-11812291221314397972011-02-02T12:43:29.172-05:002011-02-02T12:43:29.172-05:00Yes, very sweet, and curse the word count! I liked...Yes, very sweet, and curse the word count! I liked that this left me with lots of questions about their relationship.Charity Bradfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01960821077619680661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-70059534335133875192011-02-02T12:19:49.311-05:002011-02-02T12:19:49.311-05:00Is this also the marriage proposal, or are they al...Is this also the marriage proposal, or are they already engaged? What is her reaction to this affirmation of the courtship?<br />Very interesting...kaureliusnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-38890640295166996052011-02-02T12:08:15.207-05:002011-02-02T12:08:15.207-05:00Love that Liu asked permission. It made the kiss s...Love that Liu asked permission. It made the kiss sweeter.Erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03263043246347529228noreply@blogger.com