tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post5123981520320996287..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: 36 Drop The Needle TENSIONAuthoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-72909003560638116122008-10-31T15:50:00.000-04:002008-10-31T15:50:00.000-04:00I liked it. Very Harry Potteresque. However, not...I liked it. Very Harry Potteresque. However, not sure it should be posted in an area focusing on tension. I didn't feel any nail-biting tension. Definitely some intrigue though. Very strong writing.Niki Schoenfeldthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13732768791387582546noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-15053642965395503292008-10-30T20:54:00.000-04:002008-10-30T20:54:00.000-04:00I can feel great characterization beginning in thi...I can feel great characterization beginning in this scene. <BR/><BR/>I felt tension in this scene, but not the type of tension I'd expect in a Middle Grade novel. Michaela needs to display more angst at her aunt's knowledge. Perhaps this comes later in the scene? <BR/><BR/>Great dialogue, though!Michelle D. Argylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09696465137285587646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-13560267045689820022008-10-30T18:09:00.000-04:002008-10-30T18:09:00.000-04:00Good conversation scene, and good dialogue to pain...Good conversation scene, and good dialogue to paint their characters. But I wasn’t really feeling tension here. I didn’t feel like there was anything at stake here. There was temptation about the “gift” part, but I thought Michaela seems to shrug it off so much that it wasn’t important to me as a reader.LoriStronginhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10764202539292045963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-23214651205784487682008-10-30T13:15:00.000-04:002008-10-30T13:15:00.000-04:00I like the scene though I don't think it's that te...I like the scene though I don't think it's that tense. The hint about magic (or what I assume is a hint about magic) does grab you and make you wonder what the heck is going on.Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18194684286766749312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-27356199788202884302008-10-29T22:14:00.001-04:002008-10-29T22:14:00.001-04:00The one question that I had, other than the "other...The one question that I had, other than the "other gift," was why the aunt "disappeared" during the week of Michaela's visit before.<BR/><BR/>I sensed curiosity, disappointment but not tension.<BR/><BR/>Maybe Michaela (she is the POV character, right?) could hold her breath? gasp? feel her palms sweat? or some other physical manifestation of tension?danceluvrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16357250951481805093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-72008150664627974662008-10-29T22:14:00.000-04:002008-10-29T22:14:00.000-04:00I'm not sure if this is tense, but I think it prob...I'm not sure if this is tense, but I think it probably has a lot of potential in text. <BR/><BR/>Good characterization :o)Liana Brookshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14587774916354749190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-76195499341308816992008-10-29T18:42:00.000-04:002008-10-29T18:42:00.000-04:00I really like this! The voice is delightful and se...I really like this! The voice is delightful and seems perfect for this age group (from what little I know about the age group). In addition, you've given us a nice sense of the two characters in this very brief snippet. The dialogue "feels" real, too.<BR/><BR/>Here the tension appears in the form of Michaela's obvious discomfort. Nice job!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-11198341348038598062008-10-29T18:02:00.000-04:002008-10-29T18:02:00.000-04:00I want to know what the gift is. Does she know she...I want to know what the gift is. Does she know she has a gift? I would read on to find out.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03216407428320615449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-40595287284629726362008-10-29T15:56:00.000-04:002008-10-29T15:56:00.000-04:00If she misunderstands what her aunt means about "g...If she misunderstands what her aunt means about "gift," does that mean she doesn't know about it herself? I think we're probably suffering from lacking the rest of the conversation for context. But if Michaela does have an inkling about a gift, she ought to be more fixated on how her aunt knows about it instead of being sidetracked by her aunt's offer to let her stay, etc.Anna Clairehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08774415814789806840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-29115183009965985382008-10-29T14:31:00.000-04:002008-10-29T14:31:00.000-04:00I sense discomfort or shyness but not tension.I sense discomfort or shyness but not tension.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-11977987209511799232008-10-29T14:30:00.000-04:002008-10-29T14:30:00.000-04:00I agree - I like the scene and it intrigues me, al...I agree - I like the scene and it intrigues me, although I don't find it particularly tense. I'm curious about her gift, and I can see a lot of future tension.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-22913934789521320722008-10-29T14:00:00.000-04:002008-10-29T14:00:00.000-04:00Well, I like the scene, but I don't see the tensio...Well, I like the scene, but I don't see the tension too much in this.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-25699717328137035252008-10-29T13:37:00.000-04:002008-10-29T13:37:00.000-04:00I like the hint of the story (am a sucker for comi...I like the hint of the story (am a sucker for coming of age type magic gift stories). <BR/><BR/>But I don't really feel the tension here. <BR/><BR/>I kinda zeroed in on one line:<BR/><BR/>"But you’re twelve now, on the verge of becoming a woman, and it’s time you found out about your gift.”<BR/><BR/>Instead of changing the subject to her body and boys... I wondered if Michaela would be more prying about the gift. <BR/><BR/>Heh. I certainly was. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-31083039862503476082008-10-29T13:22:00.000-04:002008-10-29T13:22:00.000-04:00I'm rather lost and don't feel any tension at all....I'm rather lost and don't feel any tension at all. Does Michaela have magical powers? If so, why isn't she more disturbed by her aunt's knowledge of it? There's a lot of questions this scene brings up, but not questions-that-MUST-be-answered-so-I'll-keep-reading. Try to clarify what's going on and cut some of the adverbs. They were distracting from the description.sraaschhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02960364630183418763noreply@blogger.com