tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post5832274431922980088..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: Drop The Needle #4Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-4693780402238340272008-09-12T21:00:00.000-04:002008-09-12T21:00:00.000-04:00Revulsion works, but this really looks like a firs...Revulsion works, but this really looks like a first draft. Must edit!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-68080513039138447272008-09-11T20:36:00.000-04:002008-09-11T20:36:00.000-04:00Hehe, I said 'revulsion' to myself even before I r...Hehe, I said 'revulsion' to myself even before I read what you were aiming for :D<BR/><BR/>I'm a bit confused by the opening half of the scene, but suspect that's the drop the needle nature more than anything. Well done :)Amy Laurenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16782528327499574711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-2811927855460174672008-09-11T19:12:00.000-04:002008-09-11T19:12:00.000-04:00Yup. Definately got a feeling of revulsion here. ...Yup. Definately got a feeling of revulsion here. The bit about the towels was unclear, but hard to expect perfect clarity with 250 words.D L Jacksonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03005096541408308851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-81529462189082351432008-09-11T18:43:00.000-04:002008-09-11T18:43:00.000-04:00Oh, definitely getting the horror here. Well writ...Oh, definitely getting the horror here. Well written and the actions and thoughts definitely support the emotional thrust of the scene. Good job!LoriStronginhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10764202539292045963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-16717298977597689792008-09-11T17:11:00.000-04:002008-09-11T17:11:00.000-04:00Revulsion came thru. I love your description of ge...Revulsion came thru. I love your description of getting away from them. There were few words, but I could imagine her stumbling against the wall, staggering and heading toward the bathroom. Good job.queenofmeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16488271353775981931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-79657697339365970812008-09-11T16:13:00.000-04:002008-09-11T16:13:00.000-04:00As someone who doesn't mind blood, I had a hard ti...As someone who doesn't mind blood, I had a hard time getting into this, though that's probably just me :-) I know plenty of people that can't handle it. Though one thing came to mind--when she touches the towels, wouldn't they feel different if they had blood on them? If the blood was wet, she'd know in an instant something was wrong, and if the blood had dried, they'd probably be crusty (sorry, gross, but this was just what went through my head). Maybe this is described in the context, but I was curious. Altogether, with the line about boiling frog eyes, I'd totally read on!Meradeth Houstonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06741790047121063893noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-78300126623898376192008-09-11T15:03:00.000-04:002008-09-11T15:03:00.000-04:00I was confused as to what was going on at first bu...I was confused as to what was going on at first but halfway through, her revulsion became clear.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-80059635823095280722008-09-11T14:58:00.000-04:002008-09-11T14:58:00.000-04:00Strong revulsion. And you gave us enough descripti...Strong revulsion. And you gave us enough description to understand what was causing it.feywriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17224558691840388691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-71458635709177286112008-09-11T13:10:00.000-04:002008-09-11T13:10:00.000-04:00I found this a little confusing between the red sp...I found this a little confusing between the red spots on her eyes and then the redness of the towel. You got to the revulsion quite well, though, with the dry heaves and the thoughts of her having blood on her.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-7246842640044267682008-09-11T12:15:00.000-04:002008-09-11T12:15:00.000-04:00The emotion was portrayed alright. The only part w...The emotion was portrayed alright. The only part where I felt connected to the character was in the middle when she realizes it's blood.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-48688505004859841092008-09-11T11:28:00.000-04:002008-09-11T11:28:00.000-04:00Very nicely done. The revulsion came through very...Very nicely done. The revulsion came through very well.Christina Graham Parkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04055656554692170817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-78748074858078457462008-09-11T11:00:00.000-04:002008-09-11T11:00:00.000-04:00Yes, I got the revulsion. This was a particularly...Yes, I got the revulsion. This was a particularly hard place to "jump in" to the story, but the emotion, when it came, jumped right out.Authoresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-85333859019679396532008-09-11T10:59:00.000-04:002008-09-11T10:59:00.000-04:00At first she seemed a bit flaky, distant. Then it ...At first she seemed a bit flaky, distant. Then it turned to fear, I thought. Her frenetic reaction came through wuite strong at the end. Good job. <BR/>I'd read on.Luc2https://www.blogger.com/profile/01069557738924277313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-41308830901347404432008-09-11T10:44:00.000-04:002008-09-11T10:44:00.000-04:00She's freaking out quite well. I'm not sure what's...She's freaking out quite well. I'm not sure what's going on or how I should feel about all this but I can tell the character is sick and repulsed.Liana Brookshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14587774916354749190noreply@blogger.com