tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post5924996624642684686..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: Logline Critique Round #3Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-84641314028826707462016-08-24T22:46:17.180-04:002016-08-24T22:46:17.180-04:00You have to bring a twist for a vampire story thes...You have to bring a twist for a vampire story these days, and maybe having your antagonist be the boyfriend's dad is the key. It definitely sounds creepy. I wonder what the son thinks of pop's crusade. How is she so different? Now that she's bitten, what does she want? Why does creepy-pop want to to take-over? Hmmm. Lots to think about. Cheers!Scribble Ninjahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08647864024496048217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-37326498818124095372016-08-24T13:18:53.015-04:002016-08-24T13:18:53.015-04:00Need, inciting incident, goal, obstacles
Need: T...Need, inciting incident, goal, obstacles <br />Need: To not be a vampire/to be a normal woman? Inciting incident: Vladimir wants to use her super predator skills to conquer the vampire race. Goal: Defeat Vladimir before he enslaves vampyrs and humans. Obstacles: Not sure? I guess that's what holly's talking about when she says to be specific. Sounds interesting! LEAHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16141883577133670239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-61808526481653956562016-08-24T11:13:01.937-04:002016-08-24T11:13:01.937-04:00maybe just say "She must defeat him before h...maybe just say "She must defeat him before he enslaves vampyr and humans alike."<br />I like it. I love vampire stories!BlueMetalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07441774555617067141noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-76130662789606075792016-08-24T09:50:50.048-04:002016-08-24T09:50:50.048-04:00This is okay, but "find the strength" do...This is okay, but "find the strength" doesn't really tell me what she actually has to do. BE SPECIFIC!<br /><br />Good luck!<br />HollyHolly Bodgerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08218140291198124199noreply@blogger.com