tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post6163576435827250587..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: Mini Are You Hooked #7Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-42741064069983600302020-09-24T09:37:23.973-04:002020-09-24T09:37:23.973-04:00nice!
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I'm picturing the scene as if I...This is great.<br />I'm picturing the scene as if I'm at the movies.<br />Hooked!<br />:)Ravenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05201095217806362454noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-83452049380217193402010-05-27T20:09:48.543-04:002010-05-27T20:09:48.543-04:00I like it and I want to read on.I like it and I want to read on.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04462149255674900146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-76795727181485552782010-05-27T19:20:43.926-04:002010-05-27T19:20:43.926-04:00I would read on. I agree with Nobu's comment a...I would read on. I agree with Nobu's comment about the use of 'it' in the opening paragraph. I found 'it' a little distracting. :)Margarethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01289197658424725914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-31015370062962048522010-05-27T17:46:27.460-04:002010-05-27T17:46:27.460-04:00The use of "it" so many times in the fir...The use of "it" so many times in the first part threw me a little. I wanted more of a description.<br /><br />I would totally read more, however.Nobuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08406099079673709553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-34495529982028879862010-05-27T17:13:48.275-04:002010-05-27T17:13:48.275-04:00I'm definitely intrigued to read more. Cool st...I'm definitely intrigued to read more. Cool story. The first paragraph seemed a little long to grab onto my attention - if it had been split into two paragraphs, it would have been easier on my attention-deficit reading disorder.braukeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08058656200541303409noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-26862392685381954752010-05-27T17:05:09.605-04:002010-05-27T17:05:09.605-04:00I would definitely read on.I would definitely read on.Janehttp://www.simplemystery.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-14439166112658252432010-05-27T16:37:19.132-04:002010-05-27T16:37:19.132-04:00Oooh, I like this! I really like the description ...Oooh, I like this! I really like the description - I can feel the humidity and smell the smoke around her face. And I agree with Andria - I already dislike Lonnie. <br /><br />The only part that caught me up was: "who was proving to be a bit of a hothead and not as charming as advertised, notwithstanding his bitchin' hair, and a bit of a hothead." Maybe put the bitching hair part in parenthesis?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-73960467049837504462010-05-27T16:15:20.516-04:002010-05-27T16:15:20.516-04:00Ooh, what's there?! Yep, you've got my at...Ooh, what's there?! Yep, you've got my attention. You've also made me already dislike Mr. Lonnie Gaston. I'm kind of hoping that he's the first one to get it in the "reckoning."Andriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11399682348211528396noreply@blogger.com