tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post6653167864474176348..comments2024-03-19T07:38:28.530-04:00Comments on Authoress: 10TH BIRTHDAY BLOGPITCH #10: YA RetellingAuthoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-52422074039051451212018-03-29T13:31:03.294-04:002018-03-29T13:31:03.294-04:00I'm guessing Connor is a prince here but I can...I'm guessing Connor is a prince here but I can't tell. If he is, you need to say this. If he isn't, you need to clarify his role in this story so we understand why he needs to break the spell by doing something other than learning to dance. It would help to know the stakes, too. Will these princes be stuck on the island forever if they don't learn to dance? Is it really hard to dance which is why the need the spell broken?<br /><br />Finally, you should clarify whose heartache this is. His? The queen's?<br /><br />Good luck!<br />HollyHolly Bodgerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08218140291198124199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-39010101730237725282018-03-29T11:57:38.515-04:002018-03-29T11:57:38.515-04:00I like this. I feel like you could cut the sentenc...I like this. I feel like you could cut the sentence and add In a kingdom/country/world where your ability to dance dictates your place in the world (or something like that). John Zeleznikhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10301257444191880316noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-67194256095687433432018-03-29T11:41:19.408-04:002018-03-29T11:41:19.408-04:00This sounds really interesting and I love retellin...This sounds really interesting and I love retelling. I don't think you need to have "unique" before retelling however or mention that it has a male protagonist. Maybe go into depth more about what will happen if he fails. Good luck! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00067639096375866699noreply@blogger.com