tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post6739455779831366243..comments2024-03-28T02:12:56.114-04:00Comments on Authoress: May Secret Agent Contest #3Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-38485065845074078492018-05-21T00:47:16.227-04:002018-05-21T00:47:16.227-04:00This is a high adrenaline scene but I haven't ...This is a high adrenaline scene but I haven't gotten to know the characters yet, and so I don't really feel anything for them as they hurtle to the ground in what I think sounds like a crash. <br /><br />I'd love to get to know a character before this scene so that I can feel some adrenaline with them. <br /><br />Thank you so much for sharing!Secret Agentnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-79998750927058129512018-05-18T15:02:17.340-04:002018-05-18T15:02:17.340-04:00A jet (spaceship, or whatever MC is on) crash is d...A jet (spaceship, or whatever MC is on) crash is definitely intriguing but I think too much time was spent on this for these opening pages that left us not knowing much about the MC and therefore not connecting. Also, be careful from over describing. Golden, hazy, distorted is a mouthful for a first sentence. Hope this helps.Flowerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17968503990286649616noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-49321148418917186652018-05-17T09:32:42.458-04:002018-05-17T09:32:42.458-04:00Hi, great description, I can see and feel the expe...Hi, great description, I can see and feel the experience. Give more hints about why I should invest in your character. Right now I know he/she has a sister, has done this before. But I don't have any questions. Have the character think about why they are traveling going to something, getting away? As you read through these 250 word posts, you will come across examples of what yours is currently missing. For example #1 -- I know the girl is consumed with an accident her father had -- so I am curious to read more. Your character has problems that will pull the reader in, just give us a hint or two (sometimes it is only a word or two) in the first 250 words.Kirstenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17615706786848610850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-77953252055649865732018-05-16T22:06:03.580-04:002018-05-16T22:06:03.580-04:00I like all the action. The crashing is great. I th...I like all the action. The crashing is great. I think rhe first line is a little awkward, it feels more like a statement on the back of the book then what the MC sees.<br />But I would read more. Good luck!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07993350699086823365noreply@blogger.com