tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post6767771143128792381..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: August First Line Grabber #21Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger76125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-36826706886943390982012-08-11T11:22:46.467-04:002012-08-11T11:22:46.467-04:00No, didn't appeal to me.No, didn't appeal to me.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01866320252287612514noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-80041406391823992552012-08-11T09:48:54.436-04:002012-08-11T09:48:54.436-04:00Yes. A zesty first line for sure.Yes. A zesty first line for sure.Adopted Goddesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16854988307087656003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-30958493323381753602012-08-10T15:34:46.137-04:002012-08-10T15:34:46.137-04:00No. Didn't appeal to me outright, and I'd ...No. Didn't appeal to me outright, and I'd have to read more to be hooked.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00052141159886452951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-34907022562767940542012-08-09T23:26:40.010-04:002012-08-09T23:26:40.010-04:00Yes. This character already has me captivated.Yes. This character already has me captivated.Britney Gulbrandsenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03637618498524496363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-31276925769751402802012-08-09T22:45:46.195-04:002012-08-09T22:45:46.195-04:00Yes, LOVE the voice. Into the story already. I wou...Yes, LOVE the voice. Into the story already. I would go a long why with this one.Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09462486350293703991noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-21749310756020149602012-08-09T22:14:59.571-04:002012-08-09T22:14:59.571-04:00Yes. I like the voice and writing styleYes. I like the voice and writing styleEarthnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-29502195498856195412012-08-09T20:37:02.757-04:002012-08-09T20:37:02.757-04:00Yes, funny and voicey.Yes, funny and voicey.Jennnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-67840437950889796802012-08-09T19:23:20.307-04:002012-08-09T19:23:20.307-04:00Yes. It made me giggle =) and I'm curious to w...Yes. It made me giggle =) and I'm curious to what's going on.Aightballhttp://aightball.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-45855564640479178382012-08-09T19:20:46.773-04:002012-08-09T19:20:46.773-04:00No. The cliche opening doesn't give me confid...No. The cliche opening doesn't give me confidence in what will follow.Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15769803733067838372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-82513776060848597852012-08-09T15:08:18.716-04:002012-08-09T15:08:18.716-04:00No.
You almost got me with the humor of the no-f...No. <br /><br />You almost got me with the humor of the no-frizz hair (this seems "cozy"), but you need fins to live IN the water.Heathernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-41373349990953607842012-08-09T13:08:53.840-04:002012-08-09T13:08:53.840-04:00No. Opening with a cliche doesn't grab me. It&...No. Opening with a cliche doesn't grab me. It's something my grandfather would say. Maybe if there was a twist rather than the normal fins & frizzy hair--something completely outragous like blow holes or eight arms and built-in sonar, I would be tempted to continue.Danielle La Pagliahttp://www.daniellelapaglia.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-31836914421235947642012-08-09T12:26:30.465-04:002012-08-09T12:26:30.465-04:00Yes. I like the voice of the character.Yes. I like the voice of the character.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-58003054313071149182012-08-09T02:14:37.157-04:002012-08-09T02:14:37.157-04:00Yes. I hated "Waterworld" which this mak...Yes. I hated "Waterworld" which this makes me think of, but it's snarky and I like that.Tori Schindlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12350474671522596420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-78926274141926778702012-08-08T23:22:19.926-04:002012-08-08T23:22:19.926-04:00No. Confuses me more than intrigues me.No. Confuses me more than intrigues me.Stacy McKitrickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07898731847653710759noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-11928011922318620882012-08-08T22:58:19.716-04:002012-08-08T22:58:19.716-04:00Yes. It has a strong voice and I like the way it r...Yes. It has a strong voice and I like the way it referenced Aqua Man and "hair that doesn't frizz." It makes me guest that the MC has frizzy hair.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-10022294161495461512012-08-08T22:17:08.624-04:002012-08-08T22:17:08.624-04:00No. It just didn't hook me. Also, the phrase &...No. It just didn't hook me. Also, the phrase "live on water" confused me.Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11378846887890437566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-83302504448033651372012-08-08T21:16:04.779-04:002012-08-08T21:16:04.779-04:00Yes. Fun voice. Though I wasn't sure until I g...Yes. Fun voice. Though I wasn't sure until I got to the last word.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09413777557796110450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-9221578625632114402012-08-08T20:57:01.460-04:002012-08-08T20:57:01.460-04:00Yes. The voice suggests a character with a humoro...Yes. The voice suggests a character with a humorous a point of view.Mary Holmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00413720275477716972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-70786398209763177732012-08-08T18:29:24.405-04:002012-08-08T18:29:24.405-04:00Yes. I liked the reference to Aqua Man, and I didn...Yes. I liked the reference to Aqua Man, and I didn't feel like you were assuming the existence of God so much as setting up character voice. I liked the voice!Petre Panhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09116806277306186024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-42635915623898930122012-08-08T18:27:41.247-04:002012-08-08T18:27:41.247-04:00Yes, I like the voice. Makes me wonder why the use...Yes, I like the voice. Makes me wonder why the use of "on water" instead of "in", especially because of the reference to fins.Bethany K. Dellinger, MFAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01673940626053126453noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-55761463171208558012012-08-08T18:05:24.483-04:002012-08-08T18:05:24.483-04:00No. The sentence assumes too much mythology that I...No. The sentence assumes too much mythology that I am not willing to accept.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-36531976503738904662012-08-08T17:44:33.789-04:002012-08-08T17:44:33.789-04:00Yes. It's humorous and catches my attention.Yes. It's humorous and catches my attention.kathryn j. bainhttp://www.kathrynjbain.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-31540042388253344712012-08-08T16:46:13.303-04:002012-08-08T16:46:13.303-04:00Yes. There's a sense of snark indicating a cha...Yes. There's a sense of snark indicating a character I'll probably find entertaining.foxfyrehttp://www.rmthompson.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-86111861811458660302012-08-08T16:33:11.770-04:002012-08-08T16:33:11.770-04:00No, just doesn't interest me.No, just doesn't interest me.Melindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17182951575531989338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-5966657180579108202012-08-08T16:32:54.879-04:002012-08-08T16:32:54.879-04:00Yes. It's cute and pulls me in.Yes. It's cute and pulls me in.SStokeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03607391693287377280noreply@blogger.com