tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post6862082562353917430..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: First Line Grabber #22Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-38068523389390468612014-04-12T11:52:33.826-04:002014-04-12T11:52:33.826-04:00No. You know the kid is going to spy and have no i...No. You know the kid is going to spy and have no idea what it would be about. Helennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-15489145236426911372014-04-11T07:38:29.584-04:002014-04-11T07:38:29.584-04:00No. Same reasons Leah gives. Also, sets up the cha...No. Same reasons Leah gives. Also, sets up the character to be hypocritical in an unappealing way. You could recover from this one, but you'd have to work pretty hard.kristine Nhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08202917905756050811noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-53145024533653645462014-04-11T02:44:31.473-04:002014-04-11T02:44:31.473-04:00Yes - Great voice and I think this character is pr...Yes - Great voice and I think this character is protesting just a little too much.Mary Holmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00413720275477716972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-24349871727979938902014-04-10T21:22:33.004-04:002014-04-10T21:22:33.004-04:00No. I'd be a heck of a lot more interested in ...No. I'd be a heck of a lot more interested in a character who thinks spying is fun/dangerous/etc. Feels like the set-up of a prim & proper passive character.jhnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-73941506994775735102014-04-10T20:13:29.474-04:002014-04-10T20:13:29.474-04:00Yep!
Promise of fun to come!Yep!<br /><br />Promise of fun to come!Jo-Ann Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18027989147411624378noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-68243354257981319792014-04-10T19:22:11.129-04:002014-04-10T19:22:11.129-04:00Yes.
The voice immediately strikes me as middle g...Yes.<br /><br />The voice immediately strikes me as middle grade, and I just know this kid certainly is going to spy and probably get in a bunch of trouble by doing so.Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15769803733067838372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-17429201998414230412014-04-10T18:50:45.425-04:002014-04-10T18:50:45.425-04:00Yes. Because I'm guessing the next line is goi...Yes. Because I'm guessing the next line is going to be 'Except when...' :)Tatum Flynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00074228011847976820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-73893527018384781582014-04-10T18:31:34.681-04:002014-04-10T18:31:34.681-04:00Yes. Because I know Miss or Mr Prissy is gonna spy...Yes. Because I know Miss or Mr Prissy is gonna spy!don't hate menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-60385384465825728852014-04-10T17:19:19.904-04:002014-04-10T17:19:19.904-04:00Yes. There's a great tongue-in-cheek quality t...Yes. There's a great tongue-in-cheek quality to it. I can see the MC saying this to someone and praying the other person won't catch the lie.Sarah Maury Swannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-17872092843198611562014-04-10T14:27:55.337-04:002014-04-10T14:27:55.337-04:00Yes. I think this person's lying. I want to kn...Yes. I think this person's lying. I want to know if she/he is.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18219883647458065443noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-61807234356267434652014-04-10T08:59:50.518-04:002014-04-10T08:59:50.518-04:00Yes - I like the implied irony. I would hope what ...Yes - I like the implied irony. I would hope what follows explains more though.therealtwinmomnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-59231728714852144882014-04-10T06:04:53.054-04:002014-04-10T06:04:53.054-04:00Yes. Great set up and voice.Yes. Great set up and voice.KayChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16267506508468548195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-13502884387116042122014-04-09T18:37:46.534-04:002014-04-09T18:37:46.534-04:00No. I agree that it needs more. Just adding the wo...No. I agree that it needs more. Just adding the word "again" as one commenter noted, would make it more interesting.Kathleeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06087009456072956020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-701927312281648112014-04-09T18:13:37.011-04:002014-04-09T18:13:37.011-04:00Yes, I am intrigued to mer this character with &qu...Yes, I am intrigued to mer this character with "attitude."Sandy Grubbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07612990777661779212noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-67932182446951173372014-04-09T16:58:52.513-04:002014-04-09T16:58:52.513-04:00No- it needs a twist to really catch me- well almo...No- it needs a twist to really catch me- well almost never.SMKraftynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-7849868010287942102014-04-09T16:41:40.082-04:002014-04-09T16:41:40.082-04:00Yes.
I like the voice and the introduction to the...Yes.<br /><br />I like the voice and the introduction to the character.<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01021888227904891627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-47647047267843939532014-04-09T16:26:47.639-04:002014-04-09T16:26:47.639-04:00Yes. Because it feels like the next sentence is go...Yes. Because it feels like the next sentence is going to start with a "But..." and lead right into some action.Suzannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10114423416040216214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-37786021921992594102014-04-09T16:16:43.235-04:002014-04-09T16:16:43.235-04:00Yes. It's about the protagonist and it's a...Yes. It's about the protagonist and it's an interesting characteristic. The fact that it might be facetious also makes it strong.Grandkeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14763768651238996759noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-91787172363965952752014-04-09T15:24:47.401-04:002014-04-09T15:24:47.401-04:00Yes. Because never say never, right?Yes. Because never say never, right?Laurennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-90175754311326711182014-04-09T14:35:34.955-04:002014-04-09T14:35:34.955-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Meredithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18183264930900686084noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-82900324484667048352014-04-09T14:06:41.475-04:002014-04-09T14:06:41.475-04:00Yes, but only just. I'd read the next line, b...Yes, but only just. I'd read the next line, but it would need a lot more content for me to keep going after that.HepsebaALHHnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-69171231390929980502014-04-09T14:06:31.501-04:002014-04-09T14:06:31.501-04:00Yes.
Made me laugh! The statement of opinion give...Yes. <br />Made me laugh! The statement of opinion gives it voice, and I expect very quickly for the character to be caught in an awkward position. C. R. Baileyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04627499155109943973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-45886153267761985642014-04-09T14:06:07.254-04:002014-04-09T14:06:07.254-04:00Yes
-but just barely. And only becuase I'm ass...Yes<br />-but just barely. And only becuase I'm assuming that he plans to break this rule immediately.Chelly Writeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10795244697037344432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-29641570346374748402014-04-09T14:00:07.240-04:002014-04-09T14:00:07.240-04:00Yes, I really like the voice and I'm willing t...Yes, I really like the voice and I'm willing to read on and see if she's about to start spying.Heidi Stallmannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-83592469181556417072014-04-09T13:43:44.978-04:002014-04-09T13:43:44.978-04:00Yes-Great voice and I can see the humor coming.Yes-Great voice and I can see the humor coming.Marilynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17959628680045597335noreply@blogger.com