tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post7035080469796769219..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: #85 SECRET AGENT Are You Hooked?Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-91560960106660506542008-07-21T12:13:00.000-04:002008-07-21T12:13:00.000-04:00I'm sort of on the fence, but I'm leaning toward y...I'm sort of on the fence, but I'm leaning toward yes. I love the beauty of the prose, and (for me) that's almost enough to keep me reading for several pages before making a definite decision. But I still would've liked to know just a little bit more about what's to come in this story to really solidify my interest.J. Lea Lopezhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14127268567300257974noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-23993448262261022472008-07-20T21:29:00.000-04:002008-07-20T21:29:00.000-04:00I like this a whole lot, especially the picture pa...I like this a whole lot, especially the picture painted in the second-to-last paragraph. It's beautiful, and I like that you're working in an Eastern, Buddhist-inspired setting as opposed to the more conventional European one. I'd read more just for that, but in terms of being hooked by the text or action, I'd say "no". Over all, though, I think it's great! :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-81014336007180152012008-07-20T20:06:00.000-04:002008-07-20T20:06:00.000-04:00Wonderful, beautiful writing, but since the questi...Wonderful, beautiful writing, but since the question asked is if one is hooked on the first page, I'd say not.<BR/><BR/>However, I would read at least another page because someone that writes this well must know what they are doing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-86126943605883688152008-07-20T00:34:00.000-04:002008-07-20T00:34:00.000-04:00Seen before. It's beautiful, but just not my thing...Seen before. It's beautiful, but just not my thing. :)Amy Laurenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16782528327499574711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-62233049065155627902008-07-19T22:24:00.000-04:002008-07-19T22:24:00.000-04:00This is beautiful, quiet, elegant writing, and it ...This is beautiful, quiet, elegant writing, and it sets a distinct mood right from the start. Oddly, I'm not sure whether I'm hooked. I'd probably read more just because the phrasing is so lyrical and the way the words flow creates such beautiful images.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-44764894144758376222008-07-19T20:14:00.000-04:002008-07-19T20:14:00.000-04:00Here's the thing. If you (this is "you" general, n...Here's the thing. If you (this is "you" general, not just this author) put the word "literary" in front of a genre, any genre, I expect you to Bring. It. In a big way. <BR/><BR/>Think about it--they don't have two sections, Literary Fantasy and Fantasy, so there's no market reason to make that distinction on your end, so why create that heightened expectation? Tell me it's fantasy and then let me be wowed by your facility with language--that makes it a beautiful discovery I get excited by rather than an expectation to be fulfilled (or not). In this instance I think it hurt you because it made me look that much more closely at the symbolism and imagery, and while there are some really nice moments, I didn't see the consistently transformative, sweeping writing that "literary" moniker makes me anticipate. <BR/><BR/>In the moments that really sing and in the overall rhythm of the piece, you've created a quietly meditative mood--it has a nice sense of breath--but since we're talking hooky first pages here, I think there are places you could entice us more or clarify. I wondered if the "and" in para 3 should be a "but" (the ideas seem opposed?); the pants of aquamarine made me think of the stone first instead of the color, so take another look; I also thought the 1st para (it's a lot of passive to be the first thing we see) and ending description of the pavilion could be tightened (keep the green light image, though, which is gorgeous).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-31884882222038820642008-07-19T19:08:00.000-04:002008-07-19T19:08:00.000-04:00Yes.Polished, and I like the sense of space and tr...Yes.<BR/><BR/>Polished, and I like the sense of space and tranquility that this evokes. However the following two lines stand out for me<BR/><BR/>"its mantra floated out into the surrounding forest."<BR/><BR/>"moist with the memory of rain"<BR/><BR/>and I would caution you to use such devices sparingly. It's not that they're out of place in this particular example, but it's attention grabbing and doing so too often will detract from the flow of the story.<BR/><BR/>Also, please get rid of "She wore a travel-stained tunic and pants of faded aquamarine." It just seems like a totally incongruous detail that we don't need to hear about.Symbolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11206494728336515689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-53008367109631024202008-07-19T07:51:00.000-04:002008-07-19T07:51:00.000-04:00Yes, definitely hooked. There's a lovely atmospher...Yes, definitely hooked. There's a lovely atmosphere to this that drew me in. I love fantasy with a deeper thread - ie it's not all sword fights and dragons (though I don't mind them being there). It's beautifully written. Well done.Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06949383007237428146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-15591544540477084372008-07-19T02:32:00.000-04:002008-07-19T02:32:00.000-04:00Hooked.Already read this and I still love the open...Hooked.<BR/><BR/>Already read this and I still love the opening descriptions/tone.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-29254939242960829552008-07-18T23:48:00.000-04:002008-07-18T23:48:00.000-04:00Just_me wrote:epic love, fragile beauties, and cla...<B>Just_me wrote:</B><BR/><I>epic love, fragile beauties, and classic quest cliches just don't grab my attention. Epic quests tend to follow set patterns and are usually fairly easy to figure out.</I><BR/><BR/>Curiously, this is exactly what this book is not about, but thanks for your first impression.<BR/><BR/>I guess this is why back-cover blurb/query letter are important in combination with the first page.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-61849847987046648902008-07-18T23:19:00.000-04:002008-07-18T23:19:00.000-04:00No, but I've already told you why. ;)Good luck!~Me...No, but I've already told you why. ;)<BR/><BR/>Good luck!<BR/><BR/>~MercMerchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14164221022350926808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-74657039253662225802008-07-18T22:17:00.000-04:002008-07-18T22:17:00.000-04:00No, sorry, epic love, fragile beauties, and classi...No, sorry, epic love, fragile beauties, and classic quest cliches just don't grab my attention. Epic quests tend to follow set patterns and are usually fairly easy to figure out. I really hate reading books where I can guess the ending by chapter 3, and this sounds like it could easily shape itself into that kind of book.<BR/><BR/>The one redeeming quality you might have is very likable characters. The epic quest books I do read, I read for the characters. I could care less about the plot (which, I know, is bad) but I like spending time with the characters. In this case though, I don't see anywhere to connect with them. I know it's page 1 and harsh to judge like that but if the MC continues being so sappy I won't like him and I know that already.Liana Brookshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14587774916354749190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-78652668327361463972008-07-18T21:09:00.000-04:002008-07-18T21:09:00.000-04:00A puff of fresh air. The poetic descriptions are t...A puff of fresh air. The poetic descriptions are tight, well paced and novel. I'd read on, even if I'm thinking, no, not another quest story as each unique turn of phrase suggests otherwise.<BR/>Thanks for sharing this different twist to start a lovely book.Arlenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13009609859622288428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-13617970057652920962008-07-18T17:44:00.000-04:002008-07-18T17:44:00.000-04:00Your writing is beautiful, but so far very little ...Your writing is beautiful, but so far very little is happening. I would read on, but if I didn't encounter action and conflict soon, I wouldn't continue beyond chapter one.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-54232200836159194942008-07-18T16:42:00.000-04:002008-07-18T16:42:00.000-04:00Hmm ... I might read more with caution. The descri...Hmm ... I might read more with caution. The descriptions are beautiful, but the genre isn't one that appeals to me right off. The writing is tight enough to keep me turning pages a little longer, but unless the plot hooks me fast, I doubt I'd stick with the book.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-17255216010040279382008-07-18T13:52:00.000-04:002008-07-18T13:52:00.000-04:00Yes, I've read it beofre...and still love. Look fo...Yes, I've read it beofre...and still love. Look forward to seeing more of this!Nayuleskahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08693548526829437580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-4170089554371416352008-07-18T09:41:00.000-04:002008-07-18T09:41:00.000-04:00Absolutely yes. The language is beautiful and the...Absolutely yes. The language is beautiful and the characters already appear to be painted very well. The conflict is subtle, but still intriguing, and there are already wonderful elements of world building going on. This is definitely in the top 5 of what I've read thus far.LoriStronginhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10764202539292045963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-41422346900223930032008-07-18T06:52:00.000-04:002008-07-18T06:52:00.000-04:00No, this didn't hook me, but I'm a hard sale when ...No, this didn't hook me, but I'm a hard sale when it comes to fantasy. For me, it had too much description and not enough action.Victorinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06052077366367623323noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-57417066130256863512008-07-17T19:50:00.000-04:002008-07-17T19:50:00.000-04:00Yes (with reserve).I think this is very well-writt...Yes (with reserve).<BR/><BR/>I think this is very well-written - eloquently so. <BR/><BR/>My problem, I think, is I feel somewhat shoved to a distance, like I'm watching a movie and not reading a book. If that makes sense. <BR/><BR/>My best way of explaining is - when I watch a movie, I get to see what everyone does, what they say, and what they look like. But when I read a book, I get to see what they thought and felt as well. <BR/><BR/>That said, I would read this - particularly because your worldbuilding and description are so complete and there for the reader.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-83382285534649567212008-07-17T18:30:00.000-04:002008-07-17T18:30:00.000-04:00Very well written. Did it hook me? Uh... Though th...Very well written. Did it hook me? Uh... Though the descriptions of the setting are lovely, these kinds of openings usually turn me off. It doesn't grab me. Sorry.Karen Duvallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01839711547501582977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-91836217832647282172008-07-17T17:17:00.000-04:002008-07-17T17:17:00.000-04:00Although I'm not normally a fan of fantasy, I do h...Although I'm not normally a fan of fantasy, I do have to say that your description is beautiful. It flows very well. So for that, I am hooked.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-26589061179059952312008-07-17T12:58:00.000-04:002008-07-17T12:58:00.000-04:00I liked the first three paragraphs--I got the sens...I liked the first three paragraphs--I got the sense that something interesting was going to happen, and the picture is clear and peaceful.<BR/><BR/>I'm not sure the rest of it works as well for me. It needs something--maybe some action, danger, humor, something. Some sort of contrast from the beginning.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com