tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post7304027588502511772..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: 31 Secret AgentAuthoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-75882825025467551812010-03-10T20:07:07.806-05:002010-03-10T20:07:07.806-05:00I am hooked by the plight of this character and al...I am hooked by the plight of this character and also intrigued by the girl lying on a bed of glass. I really enjoyed reading this beginning and would definitely read on. I liked the pacing too, not too fast, not too slow, just right. I have confidence that you will tell me the story as it unfolds.<br /><br />I'm curious to see where this is going!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-85918029711766882112010-01-16T08:24:52.074-05:002010-01-16T08:24:52.074-05:00I quite liked this and would definitely read on. I...I quite liked this and would definitely read on. It would be so embarrassing for a girl to have a mom like that, giving doom to everyone. I'm hooked. I want to know more.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03216407428320615449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-2603517706794116522010-01-14T13:39:21.138-05:002010-01-14T13:39:21.138-05:00Not hooked. Dagny's more of an outsider in thi...Not hooked. Dagny's more of an outsider in this scene (and pretty young for a young adult MC), and the fourth paragraph was too tell-y. I'd like to get that information through the conversation rather than just picking it up from the narrator.Krista Van Dolzerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08830193414560232842noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-9371094498386215482010-01-14T07:34:36.529-05:002010-01-14T07:34:36.529-05:00I liked this! To me the opening was very strong an...I liked this! To me the opening was very strong and very unique, and the premise is interesting.Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14337122129492998229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-50043580996948841242010-01-13T23:53:10.916-05:002010-01-13T23:53:10.916-05:00I like the set up, but I think there's too muc...I like the set up, but I think there's too much backstory and infodumping detracting from it. Ditto what the SA said, that the focus seems to be too much on Hildy and not enough on Dagny.LoriStronginhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10764202539292045963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-14438879919811251512010-01-13T19:18:52.689-05:002010-01-13T19:18:52.689-05:00Sorry, this one didn't hook me, but I don'...Sorry, this one didn't hook me, but I don't know why. All the fantasy voices are started to become a blur. None of them seem unique at this point.<br /><br />I am curious about the title. It looks like a typo, but I'm guessing it isn't.Stinanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-75700770735299932602010-01-13T18:29:19.352-05:002010-01-13T18:29:19.352-05:00I like the way it starts, but I also agree with th...I like the way it starts, but I also agree with the SA. I get the mom is a seer...could this possibly be passed on to her daughter? It is interesting, but I too would like to know when the daughter's story actually begins.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-83173077352913801462010-01-13T13:33:10.070-05:002010-01-13T13:33:10.070-05:00I like the premise, but too many people thrown my ...I like the premise, but too many people thrown my way up front.<br />I agree with Sarah above and SA. If this is about the girl, then we need to know more of how the mother's issues become the MC's.angela robbinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07114119913653244467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-48557955494657414512010-01-13T13:13:43.193-05:002010-01-13T13:13:43.193-05:00You hooked me with the seer paragraph. The problem...You hooked me with the seer paragraph. The problem is it's far enough down that I would not have read it had I picked this book up off the shelf.<br /><br />If you take some of the tell here and turn it into show, I think this would be excellent.<br /><br />Having more of how her mom's abilities personally affects her in this beginning would be great, too.Sarah Laurensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09252565450452195395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-38925685355071555542010-01-13T13:07:37.505-05:002010-01-13T13:07:37.505-05:00I like your fourth paragraph, interesting concept....I like your fourth paragraph, interesting concept. Could be a lot of fun.<br /><br />I agree with Holly about introducing her full name and age. <br /><br />Good luck.Amynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-7473385166456876022010-01-13T12:45:55.504-05:002010-01-13T12:45:55.504-05:00I don't know why but I really don't like i...I don't know why but I really don't like it when a character is introduced by full name (and age) in the first line. It smacks of too much telling.<br /><br />Aside from that, I really like this premise, but think it needs some work. There are 5 characters in the first 250 words. I had to read it a couple of times before I understood who was who.Holly Bodgerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08218140291198124199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-86486197219715547782010-01-13T12:30:35.829-05:002010-01-13T12:30:35.829-05:00This feels too much about the mom and not enough a...This feels too much about the mom and not enough about Dagny herself. Better to introduce the main character, and then filter in her mom. Right now there's no uniqueness to her perspective or voice outside of her mother.Secret Agentnoreply@blogger.com