tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post7311437119217267941..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: February Secret Agent #19Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-13070812185319437092011-02-11T14:04:06.786-05:002011-02-11T14:04:06.786-05:00So many great lines in this! ("Everyone was l...So many great lines in this! ("Everyone was lookin' for love," your last line, etc.) <br /><br />I'd read on to find out what will happen next. She's going to make this guy pay later, and because it's paranormal, I wonder how. I'd change the line about making him pay to say, "She'd make certain it hurt" instead of "it did hurt him."<br /><br />Strong voice, and interesting character.Lori W.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15513938828806159874noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-25152569361332320132011-02-10T17:26:07.977-05:002011-02-10T17:26:07.977-05:00I enjoy your voice. You've got your protag wel...I enjoy your voice. You've got your protag well established. <br /><br />But the situation didn't really pull me in. Perhaps a few pagest later, but at this point I'm not compelled to read further.Secret Agentnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-32649858406719787222011-02-10T14:41:12.493-05:002011-02-10T14:41:12.493-05:00I liked this a lot. I agree with another commenter...I liked this a lot. I agree with another commenter that I would have liked to see her deal with Mr. Hands right away, but I'm still interested to find out what happens next. Very vivid piece that drew me in right away. Great stuff!Ramona Darknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-76325354824608870522011-02-10T10:57:10.012-05:002011-02-10T10:57:10.012-05:00Seamless. Well done. I would so keep reading.Seamless. Well done. I would so keep reading.Sara J. Henryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16145626175256433448noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-5657251926954019752011-02-09T19:48:36.916-05:002011-02-09T19:48:36.916-05:00Drew me in with the writing, setting and character...Drew me in with the writing, setting and character especially good. I want her to take care of Mr. Hands quickly, though. Allowing him to grope doesn't make sense to me.Merliniananoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-26797667833725211782011-02-09T19:26:19.606-05:002011-02-09T19:26:19.606-05:00I really liked this and felt the writing was so sm...I really liked this and felt the writing was so smooth. It was effortless to read. <br /><br />My only qualm is I want to know what she is going to do to Mr. Hands pretty soon. If it went on too much longer my anticipation would just turn to impatience and loosing respect for the heroine for letting it continue. <br /><br />Good job.Jennifer M (OR)noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-61936364399409444862011-02-09T19:24:43.048-05:002011-02-09T19:24:43.048-05:00I liked this excerpt and definitely wanted to read...I liked this excerpt and definitely wanted to read more - especially to see what she did to Mr. Hands.<br /><br />I thought your MC showed lots of character (love that she's given many of those around her nicknames - which implies that she's definitely been there, done that before) - and you did a solid job setting up her surroundings with plenty of great visuals.<br /><br />Not sure if you're really planning on censoring the assgrabber statement - but considering you went right for the jugular with mentioning her vibrator, I wouldn't hold back. <br /><br />I enjoyed this one. Good job.Erin L. Schneiderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13724907482299321322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-42679782673271759072011-02-09T18:00:56.540-05:002011-02-09T18:00:56.540-05:00I wasn't hooked because ther's no hint of ...I wasn't hooked because ther's no hint of where this is going. The Enforcer is about to let a patron have it, which is a light, fun scene, but that obviously isn't your story. I want to know what is. Or I want at least a hint.Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15769803733067838372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-43444392957756057322011-02-09T15:05:27.418-05:002011-02-09T15:05:27.418-05:00This is hilarious and I'm pulled right into th...This is hilarious and I'm pulled right into the scene via your expert description of place, mood, noise, etc. (no smells, but hard to do with only 250 to work with). I'm very hooked on your tough as nails heroine and would buy this novel.<br />So just small stuff:<br />Close parenthesis on the title.<br />If you can add two words that would completely make this piece it would be "for now" Ignoring mr. hands 'for now' This hooks the reader and doesn't disturb too badly the "enforcer" title she earned, buying you time when you only have 250 words, well maybe 252... I bet she's going to kick him where only his doctor will look.RW Richardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08473786472219141232noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-24119650946709922802011-02-09T13:51:26.631-05:002011-02-09T13:51:26.631-05:00Sorry, not hooked. I'd have been more hooked i...Sorry, not hooked. I'd have been more hooked if the "enforcer" had immediately dealt with Mr. Hands instead of letting him continue to grope. Not my type of heroine.Cassienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-46103638179548160192011-02-09T12:54:50.248-05:002011-02-09T12:54:50.248-05:00What does she do to Mr.Hands?!?! I'm sucked in...What does she do to Mr.Hands?!?! I'm sucked in.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17876772923733290496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-8918747942653792522011-02-09T10:07:55.816-05:002011-02-09T10:07:55.816-05:00I was definitely wanting to read more after this t...I was definitely wanting to read more after this tease. I like the protag. already. She seems tough and I get a sense that she's hiding something. Which I like. I really can't wait to see what she's going to do to that guy! I like the use of third person, but I was slightly thrown from the first sentence. I would assume a sentence like the one you start with would be more of a first person kind of thing, but then again--I like it! <br /><br />I am a fan of the Sookie Stackhouse series and this has that kind of feel, I would want to read this!Marquita Hockadayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15931541485018513281noreply@blogger.com