tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post8170035416690757962..comments2024-03-28T02:12:56.114-04:00Comments on Authoress: Friday FricasseeAuthoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-69262022819141175102015-06-04T07:34:32.000-04:002015-06-04T07:34:32.000-04:00I have something special for you. If you a writer,...I have something special for you. If you a writer, and looking for a job, you need to check <a href="http://essaykings.me/" rel="nofollow">http://essaykings.me/</a>. Sure it's really helpful for talanted people!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07314169620570568446noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-24007499790990934082015-05-30T16:15:16.293-04:002015-05-30T16:15:16.293-04:00It's obvious to me (because of all the confusi...It's obvious to me (because of all the confusion) that I didn't take the time to write the story well enough, and I was admittedly in a rush when I wrote it. There was nothing reasonable or even remotely normal about the way this guy approached me. He was rude, arrogant, and he spoke to me as if I were 5 years old. He didn't "ask" me anything -- he basically told me to come with him to look at the bike. He didn't say "excuse me" or "pardon me" -- he just intercepted me and told me I needed to come outside with him.<br /><br />At any rate, it was just a personal anecdote to lead into what I wanted to say about fictional characters. It's not like I sit around stewing about this anymore. One of the reasons I cut the story so short was that I realized I no longer clearly remembered the conversation, and I don't like being inaccurate. Had I been able to share the whole thing, you'd see that he was far from "reasonable". <br /><br />A few months ago, my husband accidentally swiped a truck in the parking lot of the farmer's market, and made a few light marks on it. The truck happened to belong to one of the vendors, so we walked through the market until we found her stand, and then we told her what had happened. She walked back to the cars with us, and we chatted lightly all the way. She inspected the marks, said it was no big deal, and thanked us for being honest. So you see, I really do know how to deal with stuff like this. <br /><br />(Also? I didn't "hit" his bike. My door swung open and got "stuck" on the squooshy part of his bike seat. So I carefully lifted the bike from its kick stand so that I could close the door without damaging his bike. I was successful. He saw me moving the bike and assumed I had hit it. So when I walked in, he announced that I needed to come outside with him. Didn't ask -- just announced that that's what I needed to do. And that is why I stared at him. Pretty sure you would have stared, too!)Authoresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-14223875630989031782015-05-30T16:05:39.896-04:002015-05-30T16:05:39.896-04:00Okay, I was a little confused by "entitled&qu...Okay, I was a little confused by "entitled". :)))Authoresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-6516761718691083882015-05-30T16:05:07.087-04:002015-05-30T16:05:07.087-04:00I love your unconditional love. :)
Actually, he ...I love your unconditional love. :)<br /><br />Actually, he didn't handle it appropriately at all; he was arrogant and talked to me as if I were a wayward child. I didn't "hit" his bike: my door swung open and got "stuck" on the padding of the bike seat. I carefully lifted the bike so that I could close my door without damaging his bike. Obviously I didn't write this clearly enough, since so many people are misunderstanding. Writer error!!Authoresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-2171417495381531452015-05-30T11:58:06.602-04:002015-05-30T11:58:06.602-04:00Wow. I'm a little baffled here. You seem like ...Wow. I'm a little baffled here. You seem like a genuinely kind and thoughtful person, but I think you're lacking some self awareness in this situation. The biker made a reasonable request, and you turned it into a confrontation. By your own account, his initial approach was not rude at all, but your response (as written by you) was rude and defensive. (How do you not see that? His tone doesn't "push the outer limits of condescension" until after you get defensive in "exactly two heartbeats.") Think how differently it would have gone if you had simply apologized and handled the situation with politeness and tact? Odds are he would have responded likewise upon discovering no damage, and you both would have thought nothing more of it. The reason he didn't apologize for interrupting you (as you put it), is because you were being rude even though you were in the wrong. Honestly, you still sound defensive, a year later, and with absolutely no cause. Just trying to give you some perspective.<br /><br />(And YES, of course we should apologize when we hit someone's property, whether or not damage is involved--this is something we learn as toddlers.) Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-51938551056048615112015-05-30T11:30:35.178-04:002015-05-30T11:30:35.178-04:00I meant "offended" not "entitled&qu...I meant "offended" not "entitled" lol. Sorry. AMYnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-32886390611581859872015-05-30T08:47:44.589-04:002015-05-30T08:47:44.589-04:00Honestly I also am with the biker on this one. He...Honestly I also am with the biker on this one. He saw you swing your door into his bike and then carry on with your day. He doesn't know you, and at this point he doesn't know if any damage has been done to his bike. I think he handled it properly by approaching you, and asking you to go check it with him. This protects both of you. I don't see why he has to approach you humbly and apologetically either. You did hit his bike right? I think you should have apologized to him rather than act all entitled and outraged. I love you, Authoress, but this just makes no sense to me. AMYnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-70685694065653012632015-05-29T17:43:59.708-04:002015-05-29T17:43:59.708-04:00Yes, you DO get it! And I'm sorry you had tha...Yes, you DO get it! And I'm sorry you had that experience. That was the spirit this guy had, too. He probably paid a gajillion dollars for the bike, and I had DARED to MOVE it. He gave me no benefit of the doubt at all -- none. And there I was, taking extra care to NOT damage his bike.<br /><br />Wouldn't want a "meet cute" with the turkey and his bike. LOL I can really feel your pain with that nut's verbal abuse, though. It's like being emotionally raped. *hugs*Authoresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-85198019623932555382015-05-29T17:42:00.964-04:002015-05-29T17:42:00.964-04:00Seriously.Seriously.Authoresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-58283559383196309882015-05-29T17:21:14.603-04:002015-05-29T17:21:14.603-04:00This guy did not need to come find you personally ...This guy did not need to come find you personally before he checked out his bike. He should have checked it and then addressed you if he saw damage. He probably wanted you to fall all over yourself to apologize for having the temerity to come within a foot of his bike. I was once backing out of a parking spot where a line of traffic was waiting. A guy in a convertible threw a nutty because I backed out near him. I did not hit his car. I did not so much as tap, scrape, or breathe on his car, but he was furious i had "endangered" his car. He screamed at me until the light changed and he was forced to drive off. I was so upset I could barely drive home. I get it. Completely.<br /><br />Although your story would make a decent a 'meet cute' for a romance novel.Christa MacDonaldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11826080633163754406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-68643253430918405542015-05-29T15:28:58.351-04:002015-05-29T15:28:58.351-04:00That said, if I did scratch someone's car or b...That said, if I did scratch someone's car or bike I would leave a note, and I'm sure Authoress would have too.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08697166619478748131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-50049216999471131382015-05-29T15:25:03.939-04:002015-05-29T15:25:03.939-04:00Oh, honestly. If you take your car or bike out of ...Oh, honestly. If you take your car or bike out of the garage and drive it around you can assume that somewhere along the line someone will bump into it. Don't want to take the risk? Don't drive. Last November someone ran a stop sign and totaled my minivan. My daughter and I walked away. And that's ALL that matters. <br /><br />Sorry you were put in that position, but that's definitely a story that belongs in a novel! And your character will have the PERFECT comeback. :) Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08697166619478748131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-19508742085429581292015-05-29T14:41:02.831-04:002015-05-29T14:41:02.831-04:00LOL Deal!LOL Deal!Authoresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-81641599940795810072015-05-29T14:40:30.459-04:002015-05-29T14:40:30.459-04:00Yes, but not at a motorcycle bar, ok? ;)Yes, but not at a motorcycle bar, ok? ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-15188904884876508602015-05-29T14:35:54.809-04:002015-05-29T14:35:54.809-04:00I'm pretty sure I'd love to have coffee wi...I'm pretty sure I'd love to have coffee with you some time. :)Authoresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-27550278021613986002015-05-29T14:33:36.727-04:002015-05-29T14:33:36.727-04:00Oh, I have no doubt that he was total jerk! His pr...Oh, I have no doubt that he was total jerk! His precious bike was at stake! I probably would have responded just as defensively as you did. ;) But you gain a bit of perspective when you look back on it, is what I mean. Understanding people, gaining empathy for even the biggest jerks in the world... That's the reason I read, the reason why reading is so important for society. It's also the reason I write. I love putting big jerks in my mss, and then slowly changing the reader's mind about them. Gary D. Schmidt is the master at this. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-3836489851493329262015-05-29T14:00:11.077-04:002015-05-29T14:00:11.077-04:00Apologize for what? Nothing happened to his bike!Apologize for what? Nothing happened to his bike!Authoresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-77471137727842243402015-05-29T13:58:34.536-04:002015-05-29T13:58:34.536-04:00Seems like you should have apologized to him not t...Seems like you should have apologized to him not the other way around Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10223359712001924744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-45149946097918129072015-05-29T13:58:28.308-04:002015-05-29T13:58:28.308-04:00He was not polite, Dottie. He was condescending a...He was not polite, Dottie. He was condescending and pushy. There was no reason to "find the biker" because I DID inspect the bike before walking into the restaurant -- I would never walk away from damage that I inflicted. And there was no damage. Not the slightest scratch. So there was no reason for me to worry about it any further.Authoresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-1039747471850178072015-05-29T13:56:31.644-04:002015-05-29T13:56:31.644-04:00I'm with the biker on this. You potentially da...I'm with the biker on this. You potentially damaged his bike and it sounds like he was respectful about checking it out with you rather than others who might have flown into a rage. You potentially damaged it and walked away. I would have found the biker and told him what happened so we could inspect it together. If I mess up, I try to dot he right thing and accept responsibility. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10223359712001924744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-65794672580864904992015-05-29T13:56:19.766-04:002015-05-29T13:56:19.766-04:00You know, you make an excellent point here. I was...You know, you make an excellent point here. I was just so completely flabbergasted because HE WAS SO INCREDIBLY CONCEITED AND CONDESCENDING. If you think someone has damaged your vehicle, then it's best to approach that person humbly and apologetically, as in, "I'm sure it's nothing, but would you mind coming out and looking at this with me?" Because, otherwise, you come off sounding accusatory, which is exactly how he came off.<br /><br />I have seriously not met many people in my life as bumptious and rude as this guy. And in the end, when he saw that there was, indeed, not a scratch on his bike, he did not apologize OR thank me for my time.Authoresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-83935822259713233352015-05-29T13:43:15.669-04:002015-05-29T13:43:15.669-04:00I'm with you on the lack of witty timing in re...I'm with you on the lack of witty timing in real life caught-off-guard scenarios! So frustrating! However, in this case, I have to say, the motorcycle man did the right thing. He doesn't know you or your character, and if you hit his bike and he was worried about possible damage, he should most definitely go look at it with you being present. Your defensiveness probably put him more on edge, when you could have taken a more humble/apologetic approach to defuse the situation. In fact, he might have been wondering why that rude lady who hit his bike didn't even bother to apologize. Lol! I think you can safely let this one go. ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-48686909644652062532015-05-29T13:23:17.323-04:002015-05-29T13:23:17.323-04:00I love this! I often joke with my book friends (wh...I love this! I often joke with my book friends (who are mainly online friends) that I'm not as witty and cool in person ;)Jenni Walshhttp://www.jennilwalsh.comnoreply@blogger.com