tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post8273293153667399148..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: March Secret Agent #41Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-36411897503778262632012-03-09T17:15:49.054-05:002012-03-09T17:15:49.054-05:00I think the writing is fine, but starting with a c...I think the writing is fine, but starting with a character waking up has been done quite a bit, and I'm wondering what the engaging hook is for your story. I'm just passing on what I continually see on blogs and writing sites - show what makes your story unique as early as possible. I'm sure the hook is there, but I think a more compelling opening would be to your advantage.Stephscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06328839483008086049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-1576885260970569352012-03-09T12:50:03.628-05:002012-03-09T12:50:03.628-05:00How funny! That's my ringtone.How funny! That's my ringtone.Lanettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09987748870291077638noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-49544050239165030042012-03-09T12:42:41.462-05:002012-03-09T12:42:41.462-05:00Form rejection, and here's why. First, the boo...Form rejection, and here's why. First, the book begins with the main character waking up in bed at a ridiculous hour. I see this far too often. Second, it would really help if I knew what the MC did for a living, so I could put "her publicist" in context and know what the stakes are for this phone call. If the MC lives in Manhattan and has silk sheets and a lap dog, her life is probably pretty good. What about her will make me want to read about her and sympathize with her? I'm not getting a reaction just yet.Secret Agentnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-64188724881476018672012-03-08T22:11:27.973-05:002012-03-08T22:11:27.973-05:00Really great writing but I was wishing to get more...Really great writing but I was wishing to get more into the meat of the story rather than hear about her sleepless night. Although I can totally feel for her on this. I admit I thought the same thing as someone else about a rape scene and I was nervous about that. Glad it wasn't.<br /><br />I definitely love the voice and the writing is really great. I'd read on to see what her publicist wanted so early in the morning - and why she even needs one. :)KAFEnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-74442227361035643812012-03-07T13:35:14.796-05:002012-03-07T13:35:14.796-05:00I'm hooked. The scene was set nicely, using gr...I'm hooked. The scene was set nicely, using great detail. This scene left me wanting to know what she's dreaming about, why her publicist is calling, and why one dog woke up and the other didn't :)...Great job.Annie Rainshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18408863685494968873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-21468859115298962412012-03-07T13:32:09.688-05:002012-03-07T13:32:09.688-05:00I was drawn into the scene with all kinds of quest...I was drawn into the scene with all kinds of questions arising. Loved your descriptions. NICE JOB!!!Linda Branchnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-31164200775973525282012-03-07T12:25:41.456-05:002012-03-07T12:25:41.456-05:00I didn’t get into it.
The first sentence made me ...I didn’t get into it. <br />The first sentence made me fear I had stepped into a rape scene - but it was only the standard tossing-and-turning heroine whose fitful night’s sleep, along with that of her faithful companions, is about to be interrupted by a phone call. <br />The prose seems more appropriate to some greater urgency than insomnia or a bad dream.greta garbohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04847483917886638169noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-50683420189263393982012-03-07T11:32:19.660-05:002012-03-07T11:32:19.660-05:00The writing is fine, but starting a book in bed wi...The writing is fine, but starting a book in bed with the main character unable to sleep is somewhat overused. Challenge you to tweak that, and you'll likely draw more attention for an agent.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-67188387093063502492012-03-07T11:14:42.272-05:002012-03-07T11:14:42.272-05:00Hooked. I like your descriptions...very tight and ...Hooked. I like your descriptions...very tight and to the point. Great job!Terah Harrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07789239755698142062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-57872947196951530972012-03-07T11:08:45.028-05:002012-03-07T11:08:45.028-05:00I think I read an earlier draft of this somewhere ...I think I read an earlier draft of this somewhere else, and I can tell you've polished it. The tension feels appropriate, Kate's reactions make me sympathetic toward her, and I love all the little details you've woven in. The ring tone, the image associated with her publicist, this is all great stuff.<br /><br />I can't see anything to point out to correct.Loralie Hallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07134452749240292803noreply@blogger.com