tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post8326775281695120005..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: January Secret Agent #38Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-8602544988065577932017-03-08T04:43:25.274-05:002017-03-08T04:43:25.274-05:00Thanks for sharing, this is a fantastic article.Th...Thanks for sharing, this is a fantastic article.Thanks Again.<a href="http://www.obcoffice.com/" rel="nofollow">direct office solution</a>James E Lutzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15737115218751255501noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-61159777501777837402015-01-16T14:27:54.592-05:002015-01-16T14:27:54.592-05:00If the story follows the opening cues, this is a b...If the story follows the opening cues, this is a book I would read to dispel low light SAD moods at this time of year then pass it along to all my friends.MaryAlice Melihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01614269244882775166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-35339827032437677302015-01-16T11:05:45.635-05:002015-01-16T11:05:45.635-05:00The opening is funny and gives us a sense of who o...The opening is funny and gives us a sense of who our MC is straight away. The cave/spelunking joke is great. This sounds like it’s a contemporary romance (since romantic comedy is a movie genre). This sample is pretty dialogue heavy, which is okay, but just make sure every scene isn’t dialogue heavy, so you can add depth to the story too.Secret Agentnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-14971520228182001932015-01-15T18:47:22.284-05:002015-01-15T18:47:22.284-05:00I'm in the "keep the opening as is" ...I'm in the "keep the opening as is" camp. I think it adds to the humor. And I have to say that I don't think I've ever read a book that opens in the stirrups of the gyno's office. Good voice, and the humor shines through. I'd keep reading.Ava Quinnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09404716744982870650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-58378735607660216752015-01-15T14:13:26.720-05:002015-01-15T14:13:26.720-05:00I don't think I need any setting earlier eithe...I don't think I need any setting earlier either. We've all been there. :)<br /><br />I was actually wondering how long it's been since the MC has been to the OBGYN. I mean, if she hasn't seen anyone in two years... I mean, I get that things change, but it seems like maybe the doctor would have something like that in her notes already. And if I didn't have a problem, wasn't pregnant, and wasn't sexually active and needed something (like birth control) from my OBGYN, I wouldn't be there!! So I was left wondering why Stacy was there. Maybe she's just a better person than I am!<br /><br />Other than those questions, I liked it. The tone was right, and there were some funny bits. Liz Isaacsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16636093158925154666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-13662932016955746552015-01-15T12:15:54.293-05:002015-01-15T12:15:54.293-05:00I just wanted to chime in here to say I totally di...I just wanted to chime in here to say I totally disagree with the other comments about supplying a description before the first two sentences. Regarding the first sentence, who doesn't want to know the answer to that? And the second one is both intriguing and hilarious because of the first one. And the third one establishes quite clearly that we're at the gynecologist's, and that's more than quick enough to establish given the first two amusing lines. I'd keep them as is, personally. Good luck with this! Funny stuff.Chris Vhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00628682876855958199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-28465879424841350382015-01-15T09:55:57.236-05:002015-01-15T09:55:57.236-05:00I agree with some of the other comments about want...I agree with some of the other comments about wanting some description before we jump into dialogue. Also, having the doctor ask that question in the middle of the exam feels off to me. Usually those conversations take place before the physical part of the exam, sometimes even with the nurse who takes the blood pressure reading and does the medical history part of things. That pulled me out of the story enough that I had a hard time connecting with the funny, voicey moments you've got here.nataliewwriteshttp://nataliewwrites.tumblr.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-12075821728912917122015-01-15T04:30:39.731-05:002015-01-15T04:30:39.731-05:00Great voice and word choice (cave! spelunkers!). P...Great voice and word choice (cave! spelunkers!). Perfectly fits for a romantic comedy. I loved the imagery, and I can clearly imagine the feel of the crunchy paper pillow. ;) I'd agree with Christa about the line about the doctor's job feeling a little off. Best of luck!Laura Rueckerthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12267281174937559086noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-31924078146016009492015-01-14T22:01:48.347-05:002015-01-14T22:01:48.347-05:00You made me LOL, literally. The whole selection is...You made me LOL, literally. The whole selection is funny, but personally I'd like a sentance or two of set up before the first line of dialog. Perhaps a tiny description of the doctor, the office, something to ground me. Michele Thorntonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08152126207883635685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-71235725142110398722015-01-14T14:30:24.774-05:002015-01-14T14:30:24.774-05:00Agree with previous posts...funny stuff. I'd l...Agree with previous posts...funny stuff. I'd love to see you rework the opening into a hilarious orientation to the environment to ground us and sing your voice. Cave and spelunkers made me pee my pants!!GeeWizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06941244713771870949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-66648195031793059372015-01-14T13:59:45.473-05:002015-01-14T13:59:45.473-05:00I think this is a start of a very funny story. Esp...I think this is a start of a very funny story. Especially for women who can most certainly relate to these awkward moments! I'm not sure opening with dialogue is the best way to go. I think maybe setting up the scene of the gynecologist's office (that we all dread) would set the tone for how uncomfortable you can feel in there. The voice also seems a little confusing. The language of the first lines seems very different as the voice continues. For example: the in the opening lines Stacy says she scooted her a@# up, but then later refers to it as her bootie which makes it way more PG. Maybe a little more consistency in voice. You also say "hard" twice in the same sentence maybe use a different word such as "cold plastic stirrups". My favorite line is the "cave hadn't been explore in years" I think it's hilarious. I think the fact this is a romantic comedy, you've done a great job of not making a romantic cliche by starting it with an uncomfortable scenario! It made me laugh. All and all, I like it. BrandyM.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-18463804547461280042015-01-14T11:46:24.423-05:002015-01-14T11:46:24.423-05:00I really like "The Dumping". It's h...I really like "The Dumping". It's hilarious. The Dr. seems to be slightly off - I'm not sure she'd say it's her job, more like as her Dr she needs to know. I love the MC's voice and opening with this scene sets the tone well. Christa MacDonaldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11826080633163754406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-78689190374680038452015-01-14T11:13:04.429-05:002015-01-14T11:13:04.429-05:00Funny with a refreshing, LOL opening.Funny with a refreshing, LOL opening.tinanoreply@blogger.com