tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post8525839106304738831..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: FS29Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-92183132310388153742009-04-03T16:25:00.000-04:002009-04-03T16:25:00.000-04:00Sorry, I'd pass. I'd almost rather be given the ho...Sorry, I'd pass. I'd almost rather be given the hopeless state he was in to open the sentence and then be told he had just been given a sense of hope. "Daniel had been wretched and hopeless for so many centuries, he wondered if this hope wasn't some cruel hoax." Or, you get what I mean.<BR/><BR/>FredAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-32123611816127715952009-04-02T10:38:00.000-04:002009-04-02T10:38:00.000-04:00Too generic for me. My first thought is vampires, ...Too generic for me. My first thought is vampires, and I'd need something really fresh before reading more.puzzlehousenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-90919930703268546112009-04-02T06:31:00.000-04:002009-04-02T06:31:00.000-04:00I liked the immortal twist.... and the sense of en...I liked the immortal twist.... and the sense of ennui<BR/><BR/>I'd read onCheryl Snoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-81135271748759295042009-04-02T00:12:00.000-04:002009-04-02T00:12:00.000-04:00I like it. But then, I generally enjoy vampire sto...I like it. But then, I generally enjoy vampire stories (whih I'm guessing this one is). I also liked "sense of hope" because it allows for only the possibility of hope, not the actual feeling itself. That, to me, captures well how far from optimism the character is.Elisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11283906017084563491noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-76039585339978302312009-04-01T23:00:00.000-04:002009-04-01T23:00:00.000-04:00Hmmm...this is one that doesn't hook me, but it do...Hmmm...this is one that doesn't hook me, but it doesn't stop me either.<BR/><BR/>My only question is...are there different senses of hope, and this is the first time in centuries he's sensed <I>this</I> one? If so, make sure you give us a simple explanation really quickly!Kathleen MacIverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02263212018219137277noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-8713402039764658412009-04-01T22:28:00.000-04:002009-04-01T22:28:00.000-04:00Reading on, that's for sure. I want to know about...Reading on, that's for sure. I want to know about this Daniel and why he's hopeful.Kelsey (Dominique) Ridgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10646757546422013401noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-22001818514338132372009-04-01T20:30:00.000-04:002009-04-01T20:30:00.000-04:00Perhaps "hopeful" instead of "sense of hope."Perhaps "hopeful" instead of "sense of hope."PCBnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-46222134527622780672009-04-01T19:48:00.000-04:002009-04-01T19:48:00.000-04:00Hooked. Especially because I just know you're goin...Hooked. Especially because I just know you're going to take the hope away sooner or later. And make him claw his way back to it.Alicenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-51133466149025908142009-04-01T18:29:00.000-04:002009-04-01T18:29:00.000-04:00I agree the title is way too common and over-used....I agree the title is way too common and over-used. I'm not really hooked--while I'm mildly curious about the hope, it feels a bit passive for some reason here. <BR/><BR/>I'd give it a few more lines, maybe. <BR/><BR/>Good luck,<BR/><BR/>~MercMerchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14164221022350926808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-62517353888704888932009-04-01T16:14:00.000-04:002009-04-01T16:14:00.000-04:00I like the twist of "hope" where I was expecting "...I like the twist of "hope" where I was expecting "hopeless." I'd read on, but the sentence needs refining...maybe it's the passive voice? or the verb "felt?"midnightbloomshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08936355677620232722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-85900440195475868062009-04-01T15:59:00.000-04:002009-04-01T15:59:00.000-04:00Probably needs a fresher title and a more aggressi...Probably needs a fresher title and a more aggressive sentence but I like the concept and the emotion of Daniel.Peterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03525836364241572779noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-33460789749308600862009-04-01T15:28:00.000-04:002009-04-01T15:28:00.000-04:00I would read on.I would read on.Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07265264185683612509noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-81292787235764934182009-04-01T14:28:00.000-04:002009-04-01T14:28:00.000-04:00I like the sentence. Intruiging. But for the title...I like the sentence. Intruiging. But for the title, "Fallen" is - to me - cliched and overused already.romoaknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-22250669594729635572009-04-01T14:04:00.000-04:002009-04-01T14:04:00.000-04:00Definitely intrigued and would read on. But felt l...Definitely intrigued and would read on. But felt like there was something a little off about the sentence. Sorry, can't put my finger on exactly what.Deb Snoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-88109526905061602392009-04-01T13:49:00.000-04:002009-04-01T13:49:00.000-04:00Interesting. I'd read on.Interesting. I'd read on.c.e.lawsonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-36182430751280775702009-04-01T13:25:00.000-04:002009-04-01T13:25:00.000-04:00If I were a Twilight reader, I think I'd be hooked...If I were a Twilight reader, I think I'd be hooked.Dorothynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-73233407302357228072009-04-01T11:50:00.000-04:002009-04-01T11:50:00.000-04:00Fix the passive and generic "hadn't felt" and I'd ...Fix the passive and generic "hadn't felt" and I'd read on.Lizzlenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-54254158564601442072009-04-01T10:27:00.000-04:002009-04-01T10:27:00.000-04:00Hmm..I might read on..makes me wonder...Hmm..I might read on..makes me wonder...helgorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15376749960471835393noreply@blogger.com