tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post8697686922058038977..comments2024-03-28T02:12:56.114-04:00Comments on Authoress: (2) Historical Fiction: The Truth About Titus OatesAuthoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-14522028358575677142012-12-04T11:25:51.147-05:002012-12-04T11:25:51.147-05:00No!No!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10809119446636987898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-13932250551580631162012-12-04T11:13:44.387-05:002012-12-04T11:13:44.387-05:00AAAAH! You can do 2 in a row? AAAAH! You can do 2 in a row? Josh Getzlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01141722943145348820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-17107222578442933982012-12-04T11:12:55.425-05:002012-12-04T11:12:55.425-05:00150150Tamar Rydzinskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10257464963703099847noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-75497236039836695322012-12-04T11:09:04.276-05:002012-12-04T11:09:04.276-05:00100100Josh Getzlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01141722943145348820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-43554505854276137772012-12-04T11:08:53.457-05:002012-12-04T11:08:53.457-05:0075 pages75 pagesTamar Rydzinskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10257464963703099847noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-58744313484088023932012-12-04T11:05:37.811-05:002012-12-04T11:05:37.811-05:0050.50.Hannah Bowmannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-42448860854909565662012-12-02T17:09:59.345-05:002012-12-02T17:09:59.345-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.CourtneyChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09378719093957870376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-48969480810924023992012-12-02T17:09:46.994-05:002012-12-02T17:09:46.994-05:00I enjoyed reading this entry. I like the sensory i...I enjoyed reading this entry. I like the sensory input details you included, it helped draw me into the scene. I like the internal promise to not panic and the reveal this is an effigy rather than her husband about to be burned. So, I'm obviously empathizing with the character since I'm relieved there is still time to save him. Love the title, too.<br /><br />Overall, nice writing that drew me in. Well done!CourtneyChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09378719093957870376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-21030617525648094472012-12-01T17:42:17.019-05:002012-12-01T17:42:17.019-05:00I, too, was confused once I found out we were read...I, too, was confused once I found out we were reading from the POV of Nat's wife. That's certainly not a bad thing if the story is taking place through her eyes. In that case, maybe revise your logline to reflect that. <br /><br />I thought the writing was great and full of rich details. Even though there was enough conflict, I think you could still add more. Once I found out it was just her husband's effigy, the stakes went down for me. Annie Rainshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18408863685494968873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-29364726289071917892012-12-01T14:10:40.432-05:002012-12-01T14:10:40.432-05:00This intrigued me because I like historical. I'...This intrigued me because I like historical. I'm okay with the first person (after all, Victoria Holt, one of the queens of historical fiction wrote from the first person), but like the others mentioned above, I was thrown by the POV first person coming from the wife.<br /><br />I like the rich historical detail, but if you've ever been in London in November, you know the cold is a killer. It's a damp that gets into the bones. Then there's the stench of the open sewers (not so bad in winter)- let's not forget it was the city of the Black Death! <br />Good work, but don't neglect the senses :)Lucianne Poolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10687732495236270127noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-1069521419027799752012-11-30T20:39:58.268-05:002012-11-30T20:39:58.268-05:00The first paragraph here is fantastic and immediat...The first paragraph here is fantastic and immediately hooked me. (I also really like the title). <br /><br />I did have to go back to reread both the logline and the excerpt to make sure I hadn't missed something regarding the narrator's gender. I think the issue comes from the logline being about Nat, but then the narrator isn't revealed to be the wife until halfway through the excerpt. That's not a huge issue, but it might be a good idea to make them match. It would also be really helpful to give some sort of hint earlier on that the narrator is a woman--maybe nervously chewing a strand of hair or picking at the buttons on her bodice. <br /><br />That said, I love the description in the writing--totally perfect for historical fiction!Stephanie Thorntonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17437077559099315853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-64707749982871377952012-11-30T19:51:02.679-05:002012-11-30T19:51:02.679-05:00As others have said, it's very confusing to ha...As others have said, it's very confusing to have your logline from Nat's POV and the excerpt from his wife's. I also think you should make it clearer earlier who is telling the story, and also clarify where exactly she is - if she's standing in a crowd by the side of the road, is she being shoved around or crushed? The last thing is that your first line is kind of false suspense - it feels like I've been tricked when I find out it's only an effigy.<br /><br />You do describe the scene well though, once I know we're talking about an effigy of her husband, I can picture everything vividly, there are a lot of nice details. Perhaps if you just swapped the lines from 'Horses trample' to 'goods' with the third paragraph, it would read more clearly.<br /><br />Good luck!<br />Tatum Flynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00074228011847976820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-90909014819414702312012-11-30T17:07:50.905-05:002012-11-30T17:07:50.905-05:00*Nat's wife*Nat's wifePeter Senftlebennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-79393043745422816732012-11-30T17:05:44.216-05:002012-11-30T17:05:44.216-05:00Again, I have issues with this being in present te...Again, I have issues with this being in present tense (unless it’s a diary, of which there’s no indication). (see entry #1)<br /><br />Historical fiction isn’t my cup of tea, so the premise doesn’t particularly appeal to me. I don’t really see the drama in the log line, and it’s not clear what post Nat lost, which might raise the stakes.<br /><br />Then, when we get to the writing—which is good and paints a nice scene—I’m confused about who the narrator is. Obviously, we find out it’s Nat’s why, but if Nat is the one who has to prove the Popish Plot is fiction, then why isn’t he narrating his own story? I think it would make things more personal, and engage the reader better.<br />Peter Senftlebenhttp://twitter.com/gr8thepeternoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-61323240375330175202012-11-30T15:01:42.815-05:002012-11-30T15:01:42.815-05:00I was also jarred by the narrator not being Nat. I...I was also jarred by the narrator not being Nat. If Nat is your primary POV character, I'd open in his viewpoint. If not, maybe rewrite your logline from this character's POV?<br /><br />Great writing in your 250!A Little Pushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08081183739979996879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-31444477887682369232012-11-30T10:16:18.478-05:002012-11-30T10:16:18.478-05:00I was also surprised that the narrator was Nat'...I was also surprised that the narrator was Nat's wife, so you may need to be more clear about that in your log line. <br /><br />That said, I LOVE a good mob scene, and you do good job of creating the chaotic feel here. I was actually relieved to hear it was just a straw man, and not the real man, so somehow you've already got me worrying about Nat. So good on you!!<br /><br />Love the image of her touching the rattle, of wanting to keep her (baby, I assume) close...Leahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07909811517213604525noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-15953575199841810642012-11-30T09:50:06.839-05:002012-11-30T09:50:06.839-05:00I am drawn in from the start, the smells, the soun...I am drawn in from the start, the smells, the sounds, everything so real. I want to know who is Martha, why is the wife so afraid for her husband, why are the people so angry that they would want to burn someone's effigy? I want to read the rest! Good luck.MZ Fairtloughhttp://www.lovewarandicecream.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-71607112123836564812012-11-30T09:08:12.455-05:002012-11-30T09:08:12.455-05:00I admit after reading the logline I was surprised ...I admit after reading the logline I was surprised to discover the narrator was Nat's wife rather than Nat himself. But that's a minor issue. I like this beginning. The revelation that it's just an effigy is nice - it gives a sort of sense of false relief, and raises plenty more questions. You paint a chilling picture of the mob, and evoke the narrator's fear and pain quite effectively.<br /><br />I'm not sure who Martha is - her baby? - but I assume that will be explained in later pages. I would keep reading!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-63726300571868874152012-11-30T07:20:46.485-05:002012-11-30T07:20:46.485-05:00I really like this. The title is awesome, the firs...I really like this. The title is awesome, the first line is amazing. And the writing really drew me in. Such an interesting story and premise. My only suggestion is for the logline... when you say "Nat Thompson blames the loss of his post..." I wasn't sure what his "post" was, and I had to slow down to think about it.Maggienoreply@blogger.com