tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post892092062848312083..comments2024-03-29T05:54:33.136-04:00Comments on Authoress: January Secret Agent #13Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-73683831603214878882019-01-31T12:06:27.270-05:002019-01-31T12:06:27.270-05:00INSTEAD OF GETTING A LOAN,, I GOT SOMETHING NEW
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Maybe change “needing to ...Fantastic opening line!<br /><br />Maybe change “needing to think about science” to “needing to exert himself in science class.”<br /><br />I LOVE the dialouge. The lines are short but they convey so much about the characters and their relationship.<br /><br />I would probably change “clocks, maybe, or engines, or who knows what” to “clocks, or maybe engines.”<br /><br />Great imagery with the t-shirt in the suitcase’s zippered teeth! <br />SK Valentinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10607528871289508466noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-61827914528876168852019-01-23T14:04:33.519-05:002019-01-23T14:04:33.519-05:00I like how vivid your opening sentence is, especia...I like how vivid your opening sentence is, especially the unusual analogy! Your first 250 sets up Isaac's character well, but I know next to nothing about the narrator. If she's the one I'm going to be connecting the most with, then I want to get to know her right away. I am intrigued by where the plot is going. You jump right into the action and that's good.jfsmith4211https://www.blogger.com/profile/07226522277750883652noreply@blogger.com