tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post1188306446137517429..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: January Secret Agent #14Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-82230309438510104232014-01-18T13:42:08.777-05:002014-01-18T13:42:08.777-05:00I think this strikes a nice balance—there’s enough...I think this strikes a nice balance—there’s enough backstory and setting details to anchor us in the world, but the focus is still on the characters' interactions. That said, I’d love to get a little better sense of our main character here in the opening. I'm not sure where the story's going yet, but I'd keep reading to find out.Secret Agentnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-62148240226088521822014-01-18T07:56:09.262-05:002014-01-18T07:56:09.262-05:00There wasn't enough here for me. While what y...There wasn't enough here for me. While what you have here is fine, it seems more suited for somewhere else within the story than the opening. While it may take place in a post - apocalyptic setting, it's still just four teens hanging out.<br /><br />What makes this story unique? What event drives it? Perhaps consider giving us a hint of that, or start somewhere else where something is about to happen.Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15769803733067838372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-34542735393975336462014-01-15T19:30:07.608-05:002014-01-15T19:30:07.608-05:00Great start. The 250 words don't give me quite...Great start. The 250 words don't give me quite enough to know what is going on. Cassidy is your MC, but I don't get a feel of who she is yet. From what I've read, I'd still keep reading.Wendy Spinalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08304730616753514902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-13792535797328363522014-01-15T19:01:29.787-05:002014-01-15T19:01:29.787-05:00Well, that was a terrible typo. That should be sug...Well, that was a terrible typo. That should be suggestion not siggestion.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04254176479165963883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-56346907091961932122014-01-15T18:59:09.870-05:002014-01-15T18:59:09.870-05:00I agree with the other comments. I like the openin...I agree with the other comments. I like the opening, and I would definitely keep reading. I have one siggestion. You could add a couple of lines of lyrics that Greg is singing. I think it could be funny. Of course, that suggestion isn't necessary.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04254176479165963883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-63974740185964287682014-01-15T12:38:01.281-05:002014-01-15T12:38:01.281-05:00Great job integrating backstory with the action. T...Great job integrating backstory with the action. There's just enough to show what kind of world this is, without feeling like an info-dump. <br /><br />I'm not sure yet where the story is going, but I'd read on.Rebecca M.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-91591211066790022502014-01-15T11:36:55.166-05:002014-01-15T11:36:55.166-05:00I love how this takes a huge-scale event and appli...I love how this takes a huge-scale event and applies it to the everyday lives of teenagers. It feels very real and I'm very hooked. Awesome writing. (I'm also beginning to feel very insecure about my own entry. ha!)Ryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17789434379917863100noreply@blogger.com