tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post1262277871520290452..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: 21 Talkin' HeadsAuthoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-19256898896764596582010-02-26T12:36:49.144-05:002010-02-26T12:36:49.144-05:00I agree that threat is conveyed as much through th...I agree that threat is conveyed as much through the narration as the dialogue. Still, the dialogue is solid, showing the interactions of the characters without slowing the pacing. There was a lot to take in here, being dropped straight into the middle of the story, but even with all the names and relationships to keep track of, I was definitely interested.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-36599614382391076022010-02-25T14:55:05.497-05:002010-02-25T14:55:05.497-05:00I think the threat comes through both the action a...I think the threat comes through both the action and the dialogue. Good job with this. <br /><br />One typo, "'Stassia took a wild swing <i>at</i> Merkeif."<br /><br />You set up just enough reluctance from the intruders to make the release at the end believable.feywriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17224558691840388691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-42779227560163601952010-02-24T23:32:33.827-05:002010-02-24T23:32:33.827-05:00The threat was evident, but it wasn't achieved...The threat was evident, but it wasn't achieved through dialogue. I'd consider this more of an action scene than an example of dialogue. <br /><br />It is a good scene. I agree that Merkeif backing off when the child showed up was a great way to lessen the tension.Clairehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09609095934716513347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-52561039864470893202010-02-24T16:30:08.748-05:002010-02-24T16:30:08.748-05:00I think you convey the feeling of "threat&quo...I think you convey the feeling of "threat" well. The reader feels it in the very first line and it's reinforced through the violence. The arrival of the child at the end and Merkieif's backing off relieves the tension nicely.Kathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12049151488590970260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-49675280170528884142010-02-24T12:06:31.798-05:002010-02-24T12:06:31.798-05:00You packed a lot in around 250 words. I got sucke...You packed a lot in around 250 words. I got sucked right in.Theresa Milsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03477761307315565259noreply@blogger.com