tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post128644924491921614..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: #73 SECRET AGENT Are You Hooked?Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-37073970033957850662008-07-20T14:54:00.000-04:002008-07-20T14:54:00.000-04:00Yes!Ditto on loving the nose line (I know someone ...Yes!<BR/><BR/>Ditto on loving the nose line (I know someone who looks EXACTLY like that), and I too am curious to know what Kahne is.Carrie Harrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14893023777471521703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-5373430690052193192008-07-20T12:40:00.000-04:002008-07-20T12:40:00.000-04:00I was interested at first, then hooked when she sa...I was interested at first, then hooked when she said "once we find you a body." I must read on to find out more! Good job.<BR/><BR/>onetiredmamaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-77436260914549597772008-07-20T00:04:00.000-04:002008-07-20T00:04:00.000-04:00Mostly yes. The writing in places feels a bit over...Mostly yes. The writing in places feels a bit overwritten and bulky, but I like the set up and the voice :)Amy Laurenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16782528327499574711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-22798503742532065692008-07-19T22:11:00.000-04:002008-07-19T22:11:00.000-04:00I'm interested in knowing more. I think this hook...I'm interested in knowing more. I think this hook works.Ardythhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15379643762791779892noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-69292520707196293452008-07-19T17:16:00.000-04:002008-07-19T17:16:00.000-04:00I'd keep reading to see how Kahne and Meredith got...I'd keep reading to see how Kahne and Meredith got together and why, and what exactly they are, and who they possess. All great things to be very curious about, and you create the basic parameters of their existence quickly and deftly. A yes for me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-30750630932432392672008-07-18T22:17:00.000-04:002008-07-18T22:17:00.000-04:00Cautiously hooked.Interesting premise, not really ...Cautiously hooked.<BR/><BR/>Interesting premise, not really that special yet.<BR/><BR/>"The wind whistled by and through him"<BR/><BR/>I think it you should take out 'by'; just go through him.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-88360088097897205422008-07-18T17:04:00.000-04:002008-07-18T17:04:00.000-04:00Very interesting. Would definately read more.Very interesting. Would definately read more.JC Lamonthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06980146430146126397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-90977751654474305952008-07-18T15:15:00.000-04:002008-07-18T15:15:00.000-04:00Yes. I'm not grabbed completely and irrevocably (y...Yes. I'm not grabbed completely and irrevocably (yet)--I think I'm just too tired atm-- :P but I did enjoy it and want to know more.<BR/><BR/>Good luck!<BR/><BR/>~MercMerchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14164221022350926808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-41543925763151798332008-07-18T14:01:00.000-04:002008-07-18T14:01:00.000-04:00Yes, intriguing and well-written, and I was SO ple...Yes, intriguing and well-written, and I was SO pleased to find he's NOT a vampire! Yes! Let's hear it for originality. 8^)Karen Duvallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01839711547501582977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-7365836098459702012008-07-18T13:05:00.000-04:002008-07-18T13:05:00.000-04:00Yes, it had me smiling, especially over the icecre...Yes, it had me smiling, especially over the icecream.Nayuleskahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08693548526829437580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-61329514044498197712008-07-18T12:15:00.000-04:002008-07-18T12:15:00.000-04:00He's outside looking through a "storefront" window...<B>He's outside looking through a "storefront" window. So the teenagers are inside eating ice cream.</B><BR/><BR/>Doi! *taps eyes to make sure they still work*<BR/><BR/>I saw this:<BR/><BR/>Kahne watched two teenagers dip slender silver spoons in bowls of ice cream.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-32842682828858819652008-07-18T09:47:00.000-04:002008-07-18T09:47:00.000-04:00The other thing is - um, if he couldn't 'feel' the...<I>The other thing is - um, if he couldn't 'feel' the cold, how did he notice it? Yahno?</I><BR/><BR/>He's outside looking through a "storefront" window. So the teenagers are inside eating ice cream.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-36804042912830780962008-07-18T09:43:00.000-04:002008-07-18T09:43:00.000-04:00The description doesn't real me in and I don't see...The description doesn't real me in and I don't see anything that makes suddenly interested in or sympathetic for the characters. Pass.Liana Brookshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14587774916354749190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-71575155151655869232008-07-18T08:47:00.000-04:002008-07-18T08:47:00.000-04:00Yes-ish.I'm not crazy about the last paragraph...Yes-ish.<BR/><BR/>I'm not crazy about the last paragraph... part of it was a possible contradiction. He saw two kids eat hot fudge sundays OUTSIDE. But then you describe it's cold out. <BR/><BR/>The other thing is - um, if he couldn't 'feel' the cold, how did he notice it? Yahno? <BR/><BR/>But I was sold by everything before that last paragraph<:Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-9742699916530587722008-07-18T07:53:00.000-04:002008-07-18T07:53:00.000-04:00This really hooked me right away. I have a lot of ...This really hooked me right away. I have a lot of questions that would push me to read on. The use of senses really added to the story as well. Great job.Christina Farleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03459203755170266842noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-73603954520266718362008-07-18T02:33:00.000-04:002008-07-18T02:33:00.000-04:00Yes. I love the premise and voice. Without a doubt...Yes. I love the premise and voice. Without a doubt, I'd keep reading. I love Kahne's regretful mood. The air of mournfulness works well throughout the opening. The idea that Kahne needs to possess a human intrigues me. Meredith seems fascinating, and I'd like to know more about her -- just another reason to keep reading. You've done a great job with this.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-25357476267505396612008-07-18T00:17:00.000-04:002008-07-18T00:17:00.000-04:00Absolutely hooked. Good MC voice, interesting con...Absolutely hooked. Good MC voice, interesting conflict, and a very unique way of looking at an overdone plot point (i.e., the dead wishing they were alive). I would absolutely read more.LoriStronginhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10764202539292045963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-57450257724653053562008-07-17T23:09:00.000-04:002008-07-17T23:09:00.000-04:00Very nice. I especially like the part about the c...Very nice. I especially like the part about the cold at the end. I'd read on.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-90860540312195190542008-07-17T22:27:00.000-04:002008-07-17T22:27:00.000-04:00Good job! Clear cut characters and desires fleshed...Good job! Clear cut characters and desires fleshed - excuse the pun - out. Yes, I'd read on.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-78041924314149646422008-07-17T17:30:00.000-04:002008-07-17T17:30:00.000-04:00Good description and very clear characterization! ...Good description and very clear characterization! You establish Meredith in just a few lines. I like the comedic feel and the way you just get the ball rolling. You respect your reader's intelligence and don't give huge chunks background. This is a wonderful first page.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-90659055053173043262008-07-17T16:26:00.000-04:002008-07-17T16:26:00.000-04:00This is awesome. I'm totally hooked. I loved the...This is awesome. I'm totally hooked. I loved the "nose that could pin you to a wall." That was brilliant. I also really liked the way you described him missing the cold, and "tasting the bitter chill."<BR/><BR/>I'd definitely read on. Great job! :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-21331178702122409062008-07-17T15:11:00.000-04:002008-07-17T15:11:00.000-04:00I hope this is supposed to be humorous. I think yo...I hope this is supposed to be humorous. I think you have a good set up for it to be a humorous story anyway. <BR/>I'd read more to find out.Kathryn Hupp-Harrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03776391661543060879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-25219962293894467192008-07-17T12:04:00.000-04:002008-07-17T12:04:00.000-04:00Yes, I want to read on. I like the bittersweet way...Yes, I want to read on. I like the bittersweet way you've started this tale, and I can't help but wonder if he'll be able to have chocolate once he's got a body. I also can't help wondering how they are moving about without bodies, if they are ghosts, vampires, or very articulate zombies?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com