tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post1501460538072345992..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: March Secret Agent #21Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-6962162165314290062015-03-13T15:51:27.072-04:002015-03-13T15:51:27.072-04:00Thank you so much for your insight! I've cut ...Thank you so much for your insight! I've cut that out and I already feel better about the novel. It definitely has a much stronger intro without it! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-11911858822101233612015-03-13T00:15:17.570-04:002015-03-13T00:15:17.570-04:00Dreams are always more interesting to the person h...Dreams are always more interesting to the person having them then they are to people hearing about them. I would caution you against opening a novel with a dream or a character waking up to an alarm clock. It has been done before, which makes it feel tired. There are definitely much more interesting ways for you to start your novel! Secret Agentnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-42703681841370937892015-03-12T19:01:06.406-04:002015-03-12T19:01:06.406-04:00Thanks much for great advice! I'm already rew...Thanks much for great advice! I'm already reworking the first scene from a different angle:)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-74325326012393427842015-03-12T17:34:59.325-04:002015-03-12T17:34:59.325-04:00There is some nice imagery here, though the discon...There is some nice imagery here, though the disconnect of the lady she recognized but doesn't name, and then her desperate plea didn't quite work for me. Though the woman is named as her mother, the order of those events threw me off. Given it was a dream, I get that a little mystery was hinted at, though perhaps if it were rooted in more emotion, or the other direction in more mystery/confusion, that would set a more clear tone.<br /><br />I like the idea of this YA thriller, and hints of this already show. Something to be mindful of is opening a story with a dream and a first day of school are both often-used formats. It doesn't mean you can't, but your writing has to work even harder to overcome the feeling of having seen this already. It may be worth considering starting in unique setting in your story to offer a fresh perspective. <br /><br />Good luck!Stephscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06328839483008086049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-33973977778658496872015-03-12T11:01:00.338-04:002015-03-12T11:01:00.338-04:00I really appreciate all your advice! Thank you! I really appreciate all your advice! Thank you! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-16015049537075450462015-03-12T10:24:53.344-04:002015-03-12T10:24:53.344-04:00I'm curious about what happened to her mother,...I'm curious about what happened to her mother, especially to give her recurring nightmares, but I echo the other posts about starting with a dream. Many agents/editors are wary of this. I also like the "essence of sunlight" and would be interested to find out what happened to her mom.beckyd821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-29817514146256822142015-03-11T23:46:28.460-04:002015-03-11T23:46:28.460-04:00I agree with the above comment on starting off wit...I agree with the above comment on starting off with a cliché. Love the line about being able to fill in the missing pieces. It was always the same. Makes me wonder if she relives a memory or if her subconscious is telling her something. CindyGnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-25775915841254471892015-03-11T15:53:47.807-04:002015-03-11T15:53:47.807-04:00There's something about the second nightmare o...There's something about the second nightmare of the week coming on the first day of school that's a little jarring. I do like the image of the blonde hair becoming the essence of sunlight, that's a very pretty line. I worry that starting off with a nightmare can be a bit of cliché and I don't want to get points knocked off of you for that. So maybe rethink that. But I'm very intrigued to know what happened to her mother. Something that is haunting her.mandy.silbernoreply@blogger.com