tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post1853002432029659760..comments2024-03-28T02:12:56.114-04:00Comments on Authoress: Drop The Needle 39Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-74875141714069129282008-08-01T15:25:00.000-04:002008-08-01T15:25:00.000-04:00Oh I LIKE Serobin! %-) The classic old soldier-men...Oh I LIKE Serobin! %-) The classic old soldier-mentor type (I have a fondness for them) but he jumps out as me as being wise, blunt, and not about to put up with crap from a whiny prince for long. Good on him!<BR/><BR/>I love your title, too. :D<BR/><BR/>~Merc<BR/><BR/>P.S. Serobin is the kind of character, I think, I would read a book just to find out more about him, SC or not.Merchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14164221022350926808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-24617576785544946082008-07-31T12:26:00.000-04:002008-07-31T12:26:00.000-04:00I think Serobin is the SC. I liked how he reassure...I think Serobin is the SC. I liked how he reassured his friend that he doesn't have to hold the kingdom together single-handedly. Good job.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-57135054451812899862008-07-31T08:48:00.000-04:002008-07-31T08:48:00.000-04:00I do not like war/fighting books, and tend to avoi...I do not like war/fighting books, and tend to avoid them at all costs (hence my reasoning for not reading Tolkien's epic battle books). But this exchange is awesome. <BR/><BR/>Either well-developed character could be a main character, in my opinion. <BR/><BR/>I'm taking a wild guess that Darion (the younger fellow being prodded to get over his insecurities) is your main character. <BR/><BR/>Serobin sounds like an older soldier who likely fought with Darion's father and knows what he's talking about... and pardon me, but I'm picturing Sam Neil and hearing Sam's voice as I read.<BR/><BR/>Nice job.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-82362553200400983002008-07-31T08:39:00.000-04:002008-07-31T08:39:00.000-04:00I'm guessing Serobin is the SC. The first part of ...I'm guessing Serobin is the SC. The first part of the scene made him sound like a pragmatic soldier, the second like an armchair philosopher. I guess they're not mutually exclusive, especially as there will presumably be more scenes to get a fix on him and see how these aspects knit together.Esther.Jadehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11552124058522436295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-36733096436217501272008-07-31T08:12:00.000-04:002008-07-31T08:12:00.000-04:00Thanks for all the kind comments. This is one of t...Thanks for all the kind comments. This is one of the better scenes from a tangled mess that won't hit the shelves anytime soon. It's shelved, until I find the courage to rewrite. <BR/><BR/>Good catch on the awkward voice, Anonymous. I trimmed a bit to stay under 250, and I screwed up there.Luc2https://www.blogger.com/profile/01069557738924277313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-25794881952327788022008-07-31T05:06:00.000-04:002008-07-31T05:06:00.000-04:00Serobin's the SC, and he has so much knowledge!Serobin's the SC, and he has so much knowledge!Nayuleskahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08693548526829437580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-50928414973724135362008-07-31T01:19:00.000-04:002008-07-31T01:19:00.000-04:00Serobin is the sc.I find his voice a bit awkward -...Serobin is the sc.<BR/><BR/>I find his voice a bit awkward - <I>These men knew the risks. But I wonder what have they died for?" </I><BR/><BR/>Seems odd to me.<BR/><BR/>Otherwise, I think he's the archetypal tutor/sage type. I don't find him significantly developed yet - the unique voices I'd want to hear isn't there yet. <BR/><BR/>250 words wasn't enough for me to judge. I want to read the rest of their conversation.<BR/><BR/>KizmetAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-21712474022480218112008-07-30T23:49:00.000-04:002008-07-30T23:49:00.000-04:00Very good scene! Absolutely NO telling going on he...Very good scene! <BR/><BR/>Absolutely NO telling going on here. The dialogue showed us how wise your SC is, and also how "human" the MC is.<BR/><BR/>If the rest of the MS is this good, you have a real winner!<BR/><BR/>:) TerriTerriRainerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16301763290901887933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-59703723808536407052008-07-30T20:34:00.000-04:002008-07-30T20:34:00.000-04:00Serobin is your SC. I like mentor types. I think y...Serobin is your SC. I like mentor types. I think you portray him nicely.Beth Overmyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04820441246149409581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-18706241248201714072008-07-30T19:37:00.000-04:002008-07-30T19:37:00.000-04:00Wonderful distinction between the main and seconda...Wonderful distinction between the main and secondary characters. Loved it!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-71452221492590044292008-07-30T18:30:00.000-04:002008-07-30T18:30:00.000-04:00I'm thinking Serobin is the SC. Here he's a great ...I'm thinking Serobin is the SC. <BR/><BR/>Here he's a great foil for Darion. This scene tells me he's down-to-earth, practical, and loyal.<BR/><BR/>I like.Walking Tigerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02720779567422157000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-79588548303379752472008-07-30T18:21:00.000-04:002008-07-30T18:21:00.000-04:00I really enjoyed Serobin. He's the archetypal sage...I really enjoyed Serobin. He's the archetypal sage/mentor, and you pull that off well here.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-50737678615018007852008-07-30T18:01:00.000-04:002008-07-30T18:01:00.000-04:00Great excerpt here! Serobin comes across nicely, ...Great excerpt here! Serobin comes across nicely, and the metaphor was perfect. Your characters are all well rounded, even your minor ones. ;-) But I might be biased!Victorinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06052077366367623323noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-40579697600308668762008-07-30T17:56:00.000-04:002008-07-30T17:56:00.000-04:00Serobin is a great character. Both his wisdom and...Serobin is a great character. Both his wisdom and his dry wit come through loud and clear. I really liked him, and that was an amazing peice of writing re: the tree metaphor. Well done!LoriStronginhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10764202539292045963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-69948658000632771222008-07-30T17:53:00.000-04:002008-07-30T17:53:00.000-04:00Serobin is the SC, right? I love him. His voice an...Serobin is the SC, right? I love him. His voice and wisdom shine. Excellent job making him a rounded character.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-21438602098751912972008-07-30T16:59:00.000-04:002008-07-30T16:59:00.000-04:00I like this scene and Serobin (who I'm guessing is...I like this scene and Serobin (who I'm guessing is the minor character). Good advice and polished writing. Let us know when this hits the shelves. :o)Liana Brookshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14587774916354749190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-22683647174888592092008-07-30T16:52:00.000-04:002008-07-30T16:52:00.000-04:00I liked it - particularly Serobin's metaphor with ...I liked it - particularly Serobin's metaphor with the trees. It is a wonderful archetype with the son learning his own way vs. living in the shadow of his father, and the mixed metaphor use of the tree.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-47101108965322121002008-07-30T16:41:00.000-04:002008-07-30T16:41:00.000-04:00I loved the metaphor in this! I wanted to read mo...I loved the metaphor in this! I wanted to read more, about both characters :-)Meradeth Houstonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06741790047121063893noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-48831454176500336292008-07-30T15:37:00.000-04:002008-07-30T15:37:00.000-04:00I really like this piece. Serobin seems wise, deci...I really like this piece. Serobin seems wise, decisive, and very forward.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-31130333089796451252008-07-30T15:01:00.000-04:002008-07-30T15:01:00.000-04:00I love his wisdom It shines through as the old sag...I love his wisdom It shines through as the old sage helping the hero. I think he was well rounded and alive.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com