tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post1894577870873619682..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: Are You Hooked? Young Adult #15Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-68114844263202756162016-12-15T15:17:41.272-05:002016-12-15T15:17:41.272-05:00I like the writing sample. I especially like line...I like the writing sample. I especially like lines such as "make me feel like gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe" or "Tonight everything feels like I’m cocooned in good karma."<br /><br />Could your log line perhaps give more of a hint of what she decides to do? Is it one big thing or a bunch of little things? I like the premise set-up, but I feel a little confused about where it is going.<br /><br />I would read this, though. Good work so far!Christine Webbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06840400586884980591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-29328807107320742582016-12-15T12:36:01.318-05:002016-12-15T12:36:01.318-05:00I like the writing, in that it drops us into a spe...I like the writing, in that it drops us into a specific moment and makes me feel I am there on stage looking out at the crowd. I think is probably really good, but the subject matter doesn't really interest me, so I would be cautiously hooked, depending where it goes.AMYnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-11555440278785778632016-12-14T19:50:45.055-05:002016-12-14T19:50:45.055-05:00I would take out "I let my mind wander."...I would take out "I let my mind wander." It sounds like she's not engaged and undercuts everything else you wrote, and is not needed as a segue to the next paragraph.<br /><br />Otherwise, I'm hooked. I can clearly see that she's about to get booted from the band (although since the text says Zander talked her into auditioning, the logline might need to say "the band she helped found"), and I'm really curious as to what she's going to do at the ball. Come out? Lead a protest march? Set fire to the MC? :)Erikhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08084509066376979793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-22144419494120113262016-12-14T19:41:33.166-05:002016-12-14T19:41:33.166-05:00I'm hooked. I like the idea of a rocker girl....I'm hooked. I like the idea of a rocker girl. I'm predicting that a love triangle between Grace, Zander and the MC is coming. If so maybe not make it so obvious. I would read on. Rick Wheelerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14974997043309087338noreply@blogger.com