tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post2347458864084713791..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: Secret Agent #13Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-13037050239092876412020-08-29T12:09:01.802-04:002020-08-29T12:09:01.802-04:00I’m not sure why, but my immediate thought in the ...I’m not sure why, but my immediate thought in the opening line is that she’s getting a tattoo. Woops! (Maybe “as my needle pricked skin”?) The voice does a nice job of conveying Saphira’s personality, but her fierce hatred of her dull sewing circle feels like a pretty familiar scene in YA historical/fantasy, so I’d need the next pages to feel very fresh and unexpected to keep me interested. The mention of the letter is intriguing. Is there a way you can get to this sooner and pare the scene-setting description down to the essentials?Secret Agentnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-37636200515709215032020-08-26T22:11:08.057-04:002020-08-26T22:11:08.057-04:00I loved this! I was drawn in from the start. The a...I loved this! I was drawn in from the start. The almost staccato-like writing hooked me from the start, and I'm so impressed with the way you've managed to really convey the tone of your character in such a small amount of words. Brava!Sariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09027919041922234289noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-46524780953181470022020-08-26T19:02:48.185-04:002020-08-26T19:02:48.185-04:00Your imagery is very immersive. I can see the room...Your imagery is very immersive. I can see the room, feel it, get a sense of your protagonist’s desire for something else. I definitely want to keep reading!Carlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10787212547504857134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-10013195146625543342020-08-26T18:27:34.234-04:002020-08-26T18:27:34.234-04:00I loved the descriptions. I feel the letter is int...I loved the descriptions. I feel the letter is introduced rather suddenly and I found it difficult to think why a pinprick would remind her that a letter isn't coming. I'm not sure you need to the two sentences about "a reminder". Personally, I feel these weaken the start. But it's an intriguing beginning!<br /><br />Fionahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11227520222215924954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-8992385392582149852020-08-26T16:40:02.386-04:002020-08-26T16:40:02.386-04:00Perhaps add a response to Mother's question. I...Perhaps add a response to Mother's question. I'd want to know a bit more about the setting, is the seamstress shop owner there supervising the women and girls. Are they paid for their work. Where is the mysterious letter coming from? Is the sister younger? Sherry Smithnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-8968695040603102142020-08-26T15:52:10.563-04:002020-08-26T15:52:10.563-04:00Love the atmosphereLove the atmosphereSara Kapadiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12616065241189584623noreply@blogger.com