tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post2944441708094303844..comments2024-03-29T05:54:33.136-04:00Comments on Authoress: 173 Historical FantasyAuthoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-83127367454789621632010-03-30T14:15:31.066-04:002010-03-30T14:15:31.066-04:00I'm not hooked. I'd have to say I'm mo...I'm not hooked. I'd have to say I'm more confused than anything.<br /><br />Also, I'll agree with what susiej said about the name Gwenaella. Personally I have a hard time with fantasy names. There have been times when names that I can't wrap my brain around have caused me to put down a book or at the very least caused more confusion. Instead of reading names I start glossing over them and mentally inserting something like, "that G-lady."<br /><br />That being said, if I was hooked before reaching a complicated name then I would be more likely to keep reading.<br /><br />I hope this helps.Jamweshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17941317821226471196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-60556778160084062742010-03-27T03:28:17.540-04:002010-03-27T03:28:17.540-04:00It's a bit vague, and distant. But the vaguene...It's a bit vague, and distant. But the vagueness would actually keep me reading, and I like the unicorn reference.Luc2https://www.blogger.com/profile/01069557738924277313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-16487775427545632652010-03-26T15:20:31.810-04:002010-03-26T15:20:31.810-04:00Huh. Partially hooked--it felt a little long with ...Huh. Partially hooked--it felt a little long with the second part of the sentence, but I'm intrigued by "serve the unicorns".Merchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14164221022350926808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-21674306473748440882010-03-26T12:05:24.628-04:002010-03-26T12:05:24.628-04:00As other have said...I like the premise definitely...As other have said...I like the premise definitely. I think a little re working of the sentence will make it really pop! I'd definitely keep reading.V.R. Leavitthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04695046154516205907noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-67293609443414235572010-03-26T09:14:04.838-04:002010-03-26T09:14:04.838-04:00Hooked on the premise, but the sentence was a litt...Hooked on the premise, but the sentence was a little awkward.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-66568134434365133442010-03-26T02:49:05.554-04:002010-03-26T02:49:05.554-04:00On the fence.On the fence.Gayle Hedringtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01771876679139737652noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-11859381787935303122010-03-26T01:57:01.201-04:002010-03-26T01:57:01.201-04:00A little hooked. The second half made me read it a...A little hooked. The second half made me read it again, which I don't like.Adam Heinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02225813532455467868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-79091266674804025902010-03-26T01:18:51.395-04:002010-03-26T01:18:51.395-04:00I *really* like the first half, but I'm on the...I *really* like the first half, but I'm on the fence about the first woman. But I'd definiely keep reading.Moira Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14090235556206768369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-38703505830866450792010-03-25T23:46:29.392-04:002010-03-25T23:46:29.392-04:00Partial hook. I'm a little confused. If she&...Partial hook. I'm a little confused. If she's the first to receive the call, who is the 'first woman' from whom she's receiving it? But, then again, I like unicorns, so I'll give you leverage to work with. I'll read on.Kelsey (Dominique) Ridgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10646757546422013401noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-51608062115157278782010-03-25T19:55:13.681-04:002010-03-25T19:55:13.681-04:00Too much information in one little sentence.Too much information in one little sentence.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11909732235922201609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-28013742702821791192010-03-25T19:49:12.753-04:002010-03-25T19:49:12.753-04:00Not hooked. I like the idea that she's been ca...Not hooked. I like the idea that she's been called to serve the unicorns. But if she was the first to be called, then the first woman (by default) wouldn't have called anyone else.Vicki Rochohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07381089434014961076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-28120594413849828982010-03-25T19:39:08.587-04:002010-03-25T19:39:08.587-04:00I like the first half, but the second half made me...I like the first half, but the second half made me stop and say- first woman what? first woman ever? like Eve? Though, perhaps the next line will explain that.<br /><br />And I hesitate to say this because I know how characters can just come to you with their names and that's it, but Gwenaella is such a mouthful. If someone was hesitant how to read it, they might stop reading. If your dead set on that name, maybe you could use "She" here to get the reader drawn in first. That would also be less distant.sbjameshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06986950185596914217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-45752585408026812482010-03-25T18:54:45.527-04:002010-03-25T18:54:45.527-04:00I want to read more. Hooked.I want to read more. Hooked.rheanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-18700322048804615952010-03-25T18:52:21.871-04:002010-03-25T18:52:21.871-04:00Nice.Nice.Jodi Meadowshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11796496740054225283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-81559234804133441102010-03-25T18:31:17.617-04:002010-03-25T18:31:17.617-04:00I think I've seen this story on OWW before. ;)...I think I've seen this story on OWW before. ;)<br /><br />The POV is a bit distant for my taste, but I like unicorns, so I'd read on, at least a little longer.Sandra Ulbrich Almazanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15365908651235829765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-15377357061966976062010-03-25T17:59:33.016-04:002010-03-25T17:59:33.016-04:00I like how many questions this sets up. What does...I like how many questions this sets up. What does it mean to serve the unicorns, who's the "first woman," etc. I'd read on.Janehttp://www.simplemystery.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-20808675082651927262010-03-25T17:33:31.278-04:002010-03-25T17:33:31.278-04:00Partial hook. It feels like a history lesson - pul...Partial hook. It feels like a history lesson - pulled back from Gwenaella rather than close in on her. But I love unicorns, so I'd keep going.Tamihttp://tamimoore.comnoreply@blogger.com