tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post3395059655067865223..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: Talkin' Heads #6Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-60260684304453356742013-01-28T16:40:41.196-05:002013-01-28T16:40:41.196-05:00I found the experimental presentation of this to b...I found the experimental presentation of this to be confusing but, worse, distancing. Dialogue should make the character come alive but in this fashion I just found myself too aware of the writer and it left me on the outside of the scene.Happy Dolphinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-50423759982594541222013-01-28T14:14:35.513-05:002013-01-28T14:14:35.513-05:00I also found myself confused. I get what's go...I also found myself confused. I get what's going on, but I kept losing track of the speaker and it seems to me that the technique was calling attention to itself. I'm all for experimentation in writing, but it probably needs to feel more natural. Maybe try to find a way to make this read more smoothly.Patti Kurtzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09659519121533107736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-74580497157602623632013-01-28T12:26:58.653-05:002013-01-28T12:26:58.653-05:00I was lost the first time around. I did get what ...I was lost the first time around. I did get what you were doing on the second reading, and thought it was an interesting style, but I still didn't get the gist of the conversation. Are we talking real demons or metaphorical? Is the MC male or female? I thought female, the poster before me thought male. <br /><br />Maybe I'm just a lazy reader, but I don't want to work this hard to enjoy your story. Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15769803733067838372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-69293829991190627102013-01-28T11:52:38.448-05:002013-01-28T11:52:38.448-05:00I'm not sure where to start since this left me...I'm not sure where to start since this left me thoroughly confused.<br /><br />I don't mean I'm confused as to what's happening - a guy's at a restaurant hitting on the waitress.<br /><br />The confusion lies in individual lines where I lost track of who was talking, talking points where demons suddenly become a part of the conversation, and the ongoing pattern of "descriptive noun," "colon," "dialogue."<br /><br />Using unique ways of breaking up the conversation <i>can</i> provide a welcome break for the reader. However, in this particular example, I feel the uniqueness wears thin and becomes distracting from the heart of your conversation.A M Perkinsnoreply@blogger.com