tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post3417355793696876125..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: March Secret Agent Contest #27Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-55092157491153058632018-03-08T15:25:39.211-05:002018-03-08T15:25:39.211-05:00Thanks for the comment. The two boats are purposel...Thanks for the comment. The two boats are purposely racing each other to see who gets to the dock first...I guess that wasn't clear. She's not rescuing them as much as she is trying to stop them and charge them with reckless driving. Her sergeant and the sailors end up laughing at her...and that is<br />her introduction to Island patrol. Diannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-88555203019364896012018-03-08T14:54:21.093-05:002018-03-08T14:54:21.093-05:00The writing here is great, but this feels like a b...The writing here is great, but this feels like a bit of a problematic start to a mystery. There’s no dead body, no crime, rather a police woman who helps two boats avoid a collision by waving her arms from the dock (not something easily noticed over the roar of boat engines). Is this about setting up the character of Christine Marsh as someone who is observant and intuitive? Make sure we’re not taking too much time to get to the mystery here. Secret Agentnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-66772961058535545672018-03-08T11:13:00.030-05:002018-03-08T11:13:00.030-05:00I liked the setting and opening scene. As Vanessa ...I liked the setting and opening scene. As Vanessa pointed out, I felt the character description of the MC was done well -- her personality stood out, but maybe a bit of physical description might complete the picture. I'm also hoping the time period was researched and will be shown later in the book. What was posted is good. It's original and a nice start to a mystery.Debbie Writerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17498299547094240054noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-90151637640193760992018-03-08T09:11:07.565-05:002018-03-08T09:11:07.565-05:00I liked the details in description of Christine...I liked the details in description of Christine's clothing...her skirt/purse, and I liked her powerful spirit. I know these things are small but they made me like Christine already. I agree that it's a bit hard to believe that a person on 'land' could stop a big boat...Alas, if you added more inner thoughts (is that what the last line in italics is?) from Christine and moved some of the action down, maybe the focus would shift a bit from the action to Christine's REaction to it? I'd be interested to know more about her and why she's so heated about the boats. Also, go Toronto! Author Vanessahttp://www.vanessashields.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-36853603285810033612018-03-07T14:30:56.005-05:002018-03-07T14:30:56.005-05:00Thanks Carol.Christine realizes on the next page t...Thanks Carol.Christine realizes on the next page that the two watercraft were racing, as they often have done for the past ten years, just for pure, wacky fun. It's her introduction to the eccentric Island way of life on her first week of patrol.Needless to say, the Islanders will drive her a bit crazy, but she will grow to love them and her job on Island patrol.Diannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09390351170918600908noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-50865688624436310232018-03-07T11:39:56.096-05:002018-03-07T11:39:56.096-05:00I like the opening and could suggest several ways ...I like the opening and could suggest several ways to tighten this, but as a lifelong sailor I just don't find the details and pacing credible. Why would the ferry captain wait for a policewoman on shore to tell him to slow down if he (or she) already sees the water taxi? That takes me out of what could be a very fun story. Carol Croninhttp://www.carolnewmancronin.comnoreply@blogger.com