tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post3735157138482716936..comments2024-03-29T05:54:33.136-04:00Comments on Authoress: 162 SuspenseAuthoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-61459491896997760652010-03-26T21:56:33.309-04:002010-03-26T21:56:33.309-04:00I'm not hooked. There's potential here, b...I'm not hooked. There's potential here, but it's not pulling me along.Kelsey (Dominique) Ridgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10646757546422013401noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-59407659371867325592010-03-26T19:43:34.494-04:002010-03-26T19:43:34.494-04:00Not hooked. The third sentence had no relationship...Not hooked. The third sentence had no relationship to the first two and felt jarring.Elizabeth Lundhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09225460715942282133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-39647457172568178362010-03-26T15:36:13.303-04:002010-03-26T15:36:13.303-04:00Not hooked, sorry.
"inimitable" threw m...Not hooked, sorry.<br /><br />"inimitable" threw me and I couldn't get past that to wonder why "until now".Merchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14164221022350926808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-45700539323294086082010-03-26T12:22:56.360-04:002010-03-26T12:22:56.360-04:00Not hooked. I also had to re-read it a couple of t...Not hooked. I also had to re-read it a couple of times. The note isn't enough suspense for me to read on.Susan X Bradleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03933142677328722384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-46590500424002615512010-03-25T20:41:38.908-04:002010-03-25T20:41:38.908-04:00(this won't post...trying again)
I like "...(this won't post...trying again)<br /><br />I like "Rivals called Jeremy Guerdon ____." (I'd change inimitable). But the best friend and fiance feels like a cliche to me. I rolled my eyes, sorry to say. <br /><br />I'd probably replace best friend and fiance with "scum-sucking toad" or some other colorful insult, and then let it slip that she was engaged to him. Takes way more than 25 words, but that would hook me.Vicki Rochohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07381089434014961076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-90229698596410251602010-03-25T19:25:43.964-04:002010-03-25T19:25:43.964-04:00'inimitable' is a poor choice of word here...'inimitable' is a poor choice of word here..it doesn't tell me anything. Inimitable how?Keren Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13121027210783177857noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-16735380082412007572010-03-25T18:15:50.944-04:002010-03-25T18:15:50.944-04:00I'd read on. Nice set up.I'd read on. Nice set up.Portiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13435815819572442582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-82232514576998032912010-03-25T18:05:44.725-04:002010-03-25T18:05:44.725-04:00The first two sentences confused me. I had to rea...The first two sentences confused me. I had to read them a couple of times.Janehttp://www.simplemystery.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-4661652207978040932010-03-25T17:33:00.438-04:002010-03-25T17:33:00.438-04:00Liked this so far! Would keep reading!Liked this so far! Would keep reading!shawnawkshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12384952077525747377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-91907873284865699482010-03-25T17:27:15.240-04:002010-03-25T17:27:15.240-04:00Not hooked -- 'inimitable' is an adjective...Not hooked -- 'inimitable' is an adjective. 'bf' and 'fiance' are nouns - this lack of parallel structure is one of my red buttons.Joshua McCunehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17367262185912463258noreply@blogger.com