tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post3750169984107355174..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: First Line Grabber Round 2 #8Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-74616263742931976752014-04-16T16:39:51.545-04:002014-04-16T16:39:51.545-04:00Kade doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who ...Kade doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who leaves them to only one decimal place of precision. I see him as more of a three or four. <br /><br />"he'd give it a 9.7738 out of 10. The 9.8000 and 9.9000 scores ...."Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01021888227904891627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-67616165322439681622014-04-15T22:35:17.902-04:002014-04-15T22:35:17.902-04:00I'd lose the "out of ten" as well.
...I'd lose the "out of ten" as well. <br /><br />Good job. I'd read on. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06503578141423770006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-37755499896699577882014-04-15T18:25:10.753-04:002014-04-15T18:25:10.753-04:00I liked this! The only thing I'd suggest is to...I liked this! The only thing I'd suggest is to leave out "out of 10" since you go on to explain the rating system. And maybe tighten to "9.8 and 9.9 were reserved..."MM Chandlernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-77285961835583182482014-04-15T16:13:00.116-04:002014-04-15T16:13:00.116-04:00It's funny. I started to lose it a bit in the ...It's funny. I started to lose it a bit in the second sentence. But the last part...I'd totally keep reading. Nice! Meredithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18183264930900686084noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-30728734009768875122014-04-15T12:42:57.455-04:002014-04-15T12:42:57.455-04:00This works. When it was the first sentence alone, ...This works. When it was the first sentence alone, I had too many questions. This has pique my interest and I'd definitely read on!don't hate menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-73728807194725058892014-04-15T11:34:39.556-04:002014-04-15T11:34:39.556-04:00I'm a tiny bit confused about p.o.v. here. Fro...I'm a tiny bit confused about p.o.v. here. From the title, I was expecting first person, and I assumed that Kade was the best friend mentioned. But in these sentences, we're inside Kade's head, so is he the p.o.v. character? I would hope that the next sentences would clarify.<br /><br />I wasn't as crazy about the second sentence. It's good character building, but it also feels like giving a classification system here slows the momentum (sorry to disagree with Krista!). But that's a real zinger in the last line--he's a robot! That would be enough to pull me forward.amhogganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08831363893894165135noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-12628898991277666422014-04-15T11:16:16.811-04:002014-04-15T11:16:16.811-04:00Yes. I actually like the second and third sentence...Yes. I actually like the second and third sentences much more than the first, and that rarely happens. Way to build momentum.Krista Van Dolzerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08830193414560232842noreply@blogger.com