tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post414090444327317501..comments2024-03-29T05:54:33.136-04:00Comments on Authoress: 74 YA HistoricalAuthoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-72620924551165860672010-03-28T12:05:42.512-04:002010-03-28T12:05:42.512-04:00Seems to be trying to do too much in one sentence....Seems to be trying to do too much in one sentence.<br />Start with:<br />My lace-covered bottom was on full display to the street below. <br /><br />Then continue as to where and why etc. If it's night doesn't it matter if undies show. Is the street busy below? Tell me she's climbing out a window and the context.Robbinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09370900593361310765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-7098008933757381302010-03-27T22:05:17.142-04:002010-03-27T22:05:17.142-04:00I think it's a great hook, I'd love to see...I think it's a great hook, I'd love to see how she extricates herself from the embarrassment. But I'm not sure where the history is as obvious to me as it seem to be to some of the rest. A lace-covered bottom is possible right this moment, whereas prior to the Civil War it would not have been -- undergarments changed dramatically for women when bloomers came in; the undergarment in question would have been two legs not connected in the middle and it would have been the last place lace would have been used.<br />So maybe I'm quibbling with history, but that doesn't take away from the "I want to know how this turns out" factor.Writerly1https://www.blogger.com/profile/05256108423214130653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-74975853827522175842010-03-27T21:43:29.143-04:002010-03-27T21:43:29.143-04:00I just said historical wasn't my thing, but th...I just said historical wasn't my thing, but this was funny. I'd definitely keep readingSelestialhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11513212631394350304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-91159956956979767962010-03-26T21:27:29.281-04:002010-03-26T21:27:29.281-04:00LOL! Love the title; I'd read on.LOL! Love the title; I'd read on.Merchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14164221022350926808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-70330469662434248172010-03-26T00:14:52.819-04:002010-03-26T00:14:52.819-04:00I'd keep going. Cute!I'd keep going. Cute!jchaneynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-41483484707328627632010-03-25T23:49:41.527-04:002010-03-25T23:49:41.527-04:00That's what I call an "Aw CRAP!" mom...That's what I call an "Aw CRAP!" moment. Made me smile. I'd read on.Davehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03699751175612528665noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-16938383621051235042010-03-25T23:08:14.265-04:002010-03-25T23:08:14.265-04:00I'd certainly read on.I'd certainly read on.Stellanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-34313738579924071032010-03-25T20:29:16.217-04:002010-03-25T20:29:16.217-04:00pretty good, but I feel it could be punchier, by s...pretty good, but I feel it could be punchier, by setting it up with how she's feeling and then going to the butt in full view. starting off with the butt in full view made me think this was a hooker, and then I had to revise my image when I got to the second half of the entryHeather Sach'a Palmerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17945157036114574186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-59093109736306070462010-03-25T19:14:24.379-04:002010-03-25T19:14:24.379-04:00The title made me think this was set in the early ...The title made me think this was set in the early 1900's. The street below made me think city. Climbing out the window made me think tenement building, or a home where apartments were rented rather than a home she owned, and that made me think she wasn't wealthy, which made me wonder how she afforded lace undies.<br /><br />Your 25 words made me envision all this, and that's enough to keep me reading because, right or wrong, you make me feel confident I'm going to get an interesting story.Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15769803733067838372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-16797256609268938692010-03-25T17:58:28.726-04:002010-03-25T17:58:28.726-04:00I would read further so see what was going on...I would read further so see what was going on...Sharon K. Mayhewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07799235347319851345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-32515350332684291602010-03-25T16:42:24.975-04:002010-03-25T16:42:24.975-04:00Yes, embarassment always works for me. I couldn...Yes, embarassment always works for me. I couldn't stop reading just yet.melody colleennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-57763628913058708992010-03-25T16:21:26.306-04:002010-03-25T16:21:26.306-04:00Partially hooked, but distracted by the structure ...Partially hooked, but distracted by the structure of looking down, then up.carol Newman Croninhttp://www.carolnewmancronin.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-7460637055232615462010-03-25T16:00:15.577-04:002010-03-25T16:00:15.577-04:00I would keep reading!I would keep reading!Kristi Faithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17527544253341529009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-40056114004699474922010-03-25T15:53:39.245-04:002010-03-25T15:53:39.245-04:00Hooked enough. I like a character in a predicamen...Hooked enough. I like a character in a predicament. <br /><br />Main negative is "lace-covered bottom" which doesn't seem right for an historical period (unless it's a very recent period) because it makes me picture lace underwear, and that's a recent thing. Also using the word "bottom" in what seems to be the context makes me question the voice.<br /><br />However, all of that would depend on what the period, character and situation turn out to be.The Daring Novelisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01676188266569869059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-29848694605557962682010-03-25T14:59:39.918-04:002010-03-25T14:59:39.918-04:00Hah! Nice opening. I want to know how she got into...Hah! Nice opening. I want to know how she got into that situation (and how she's getting out).Anassahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11554524219883438465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-40592561071559436032010-03-25T14:32:51.516-04:002010-03-25T14:32:51.516-04:00I almost laughed out loud! Hooked.I almost laughed out loud! Hooked.Vicki Tremperhttp://www.vbtremper.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-65261946200552755382010-03-25T13:32:07.549-04:002010-03-25T13:32:07.549-04:00Hooked! Well done. :-)Hooked! Well done. :-)Portiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13435815819572442582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-64091070999520368702010-03-25T13:21:55.685-04:002010-03-25T13:21:55.685-04:00This one made me smile. I'm hooked.This one made me smile. I'm hooked.Moira Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14090235556206768369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-1980647289573419882010-03-25T13:21:14.948-04:002010-03-25T13:21:14.948-04:00Definitely hooked.Definitely hooked.Casey Somethinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17596079290053524103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-90138757359092847512010-03-25T12:51:55.739-04:002010-03-25T12:51:55.739-04:00Yes, I'd keep reading to see how she gets out ...Yes, I'd keep reading to see how she gets out of this predicament!Crystalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09968456960528987538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-65382729827219671562010-03-25T12:50:02.738-04:002010-03-25T12:50:02.738-04:00Hooked.Hooked.Stinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11415189347501942340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-65696965015314596632010-03-25T12:35:35.500-04:002010-03-25T12:35:35.500-04:00I love the humor, hooked.I love the humor, hooked.Walterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13828924901372990187noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-40417914471848704632010-03-25T12:11:04.067-04:002010-03-25T12:11:04.067-04:00Hooked. Love the humor in this and the style of wr...Hooked. Love the humor in this and the style of writing. You got the historical angle across very smoothly. I definitely want to know what happens next!Valerie Kemphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05795714434618357955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-72504136474041238672010-03-25T11:44:50.750-04:002010-03-25T11:44:50.750-04:00This is a great way to show a person climbing out ...This is a great way to show a person climbing out of a window. Hooked!Momwomannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-43285300890235426002010-03-25T11:42:48.039-04:002010-03-25T11:42:48.039-04:00cute, I'd keep readingcute, I'd keep readingMeghan S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12447149254455271636noreply@blogger.com