tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post473910947733098992..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: Talkin' Heads #29Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-64785652928341071372013-01-30T01:04:14.795-05:002013-01-30T01:04:14.795-05:00Man, I get the feeling Stan is bad news! :) He'...Man, I get the feeling Stan is bad news! :) He's great! I thought the "how boring would that be" didn't quite sit with the rest of the speech style, but I loved the rest of it!Mimehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03166384979716659441noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-62018209739522127762013-01-28T23:25:05.316-05:002013-01-28T23:25:05.316-05:00Sizzling snappy dialogue. Makes me want to read th...Sizzling snappy dialogue. Makes me want to read the whole book. The man sounds like a showman, too. Ready to buy the chicken and show it around.<br />Great job.Peggynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-43388673091610473902013-01-28T21:14:40.626-05:002013-01-28T21:14:40.626-05:00I love this. You've sucked me right in, not on...I love this. You've sucked me right in, not only to the dialogue, but to the story itself. I'm dying to read more of it.<br /><br />Your characters are already 3-dimensional to me with just this little snippet. <br /><br />I understand what is being said about the 'well', but I read it as part of her personality.Cordelia Dinsmorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10704456269484202163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-77236457980235195762013-01-28T18:09:07.878-05:002013-01-28T18:09:07.878-05:00Great job! This reads like it could have been writ...Great job! This reads like it could have been written in 1935, and that is not an easy thing to do at all. <br /><br />Loved the lines "a twist of lime, a bit of fizz," and "sharp as cheddar cheese." Stan is a perfect showman; even his long speech in the fifth paragraph feels completely true to character. Aunty's reserve is a great contrast.<br /><br />Karen has a good point about starting lines with "Well." Otherwise, I wouldn't change a thing.Rebecca M.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-41633995958302444112013-01-28T15:26:37.342-05:002013-01-28T15:26:37.342-05:00Cute! This definitely defines your characters and ...Cute! This definitely defines your characters and the dialogue works to set these two apart. <br /><br />My only suggestion would be to avoid starting a line of dialogue with "well." Aunty does it twice and it makes her words sound less authentic.<br /><br />Other than that, good job! Sounds like a great story. :)Karen Duvallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01839711547501582977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-25000794280097981562013-01-28T11:08:41.392-05:002013-01-28T11:08:41.392-05:00Really strong! Love the voice and the way Stan jum...Really strong! Love the voice and the way Stan jumps of the page through dialogue. Aunty is painted as a character very clearly in just a few lines of dialogue. Bravo.RedCard10noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-57199096920889107752013-01-28T10:01:30.894-05:002013-01-28T10:01:30.894-05:00I love Stan's dialogue. In fact, I felt like ...I love Stan's dialogue. In fact, I felt like this really pulled me into the time period and the situation. I was a bit put off by the "alligators eat their own babies" bit, but otherwise I think this is really well done. Good job.K Callardnoreply@blogger.com