tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post493997454845233086..comments2024-03-29T05:54:33.136-04:00Comments on Authoress: 71 SFAuthoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-91463036732097952172010-03-27T21:44:47.927-04:002010-03-27T21:44:47.927-04:00Not really hooked by this. Knowing that he's g...Not really hooked by this. Knowing that he's going to die grabbed me a bit, but then the rest didn't hold on.Selestialhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11513212631394350304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-83445017261148714002010-03-26T21:29:15.233-04:002010-03-26T21:29:15.233-04:00Not quite. It's a touch confusing, and if it&#...Not quite. It's a touch confusing, and if it's a waking up intro, I'm usually not hooked.Merchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14164221022350926808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-66178562242590304662010-03-25T20:36:41.113-04:002010-03-25T20:36:41.113-04:00hooked. what a great opening. new idea. gets me wo...hooked. what a great opening. new idea. gets me wondering...Heather Sach'a Palmerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17945157036114574186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-7954908114887276012010-03-25T18:55:16.666-04:002010-03-25T18:55:16.666-04:00Well, I thought he died, then he woke up to the be...Well, I thought he died, then he woke up to the best morning he ever had. That hooked me. <br /><br />Then I read your explanation, and if I understand it correctly, he hasn't died yet, but on the morning of the day he will die, he wakes, thinking it's the best morning he ever had.<br /><br />If that's the case, I'm not hooked, because my response is - so. I already know he's going to die. Why do I need to read more? <br /><br />That may not be how your story goes, but that's what you lead me to believe, and that's all I have to go on.Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15769803733067838372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-21358055480942582172010-03-25T15:58:47.483-04:002010-03-25T15:58:47.483-04:00WOW! HOOKED!
I love the first sentence!
The secon...WOW! HOOKED!<br />I love the first sentence! <br />The second sentence sorta confused me...but what the hell! The first one had TEETH! ㋡samsevernhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10913647759811350705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-76996069042862814822010-03-25T13:51:44.282-04:002010-03-25T13:51:44.282-04:00For me, this is close. I agree that it's probl...For me, this is close. I agree that it's problematic to start with the character waking. But it's got a lovely amount of tension.Portiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13435815819572442582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-39183437262791044452010-03-25T12:32:27.154-04:002010-03-25T12:32:27.154-04:00Not hooked.Not hooked.Kateehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03909851761164178447noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-20300521421535984142010-03-25T12:00:43.217-04:002010-03-25T12:00:43.217-04:00The tense change is confusing. Not hooked.The tense change is confusing. Not hooked.Sandra Ulbrich Almazanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15365908651235829765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-90174740491764723672010-03-25T11:54:02.015-04:002010-03-25T11:54:02.015-04:00Read the start of the story. The whole waking up t...Read the start of the story. The whole waking up thing is just not strong. He wakes up. There is a valet. There is a plant. Shower or breakfast. Why should I care? I don't like this guy yet. Who is he?<br />Also - you know that if you put this out on line, no one will ever buy it, becasue it's considered previously published. Right?Momwomannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-27695365946705611302010-03-25T11:49:35.411-04:002010-03-25T11:49:35.411-04:00I'm going to guess - you get to be king for a ...I'm going to guess - you get to be king for a day, and then they kill you.<br />Not hooked.Momwomannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-38802475578957825922010-03-25T11:44:26.229-04:002010-03-25T11:44:26.229-04:00The curious can read the whole short story here.The curious can read the whole short story <a href="https://sites.google.com/site/homewardboundblog/Home/K4D" rel="nofollow">here</a>.ChrisBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04611311820554248004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-86744460214563271852010-03-25T11:34:29.447-04:002010-03-25T11:34:29.447-04:00Also confused on whether his death has already hap...Also confused on whether his death has already happened or is yet to come.<br /><br />But I'd read some more.fairchildnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-1338214361956560972010-03-25T11:29:20.066-04:002010-03-25T11:29:20.066-04:00From the writer: He doesn't know he's goin...From the writer: He doesn't know he's going to die today. But thanks for pointing out that it isn't clear.ChrisBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04611311820554248004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-82635244728478449682010-03-25T11:27:57.057-04:002010-03-25T11:27:57.057-04:00hooked, hooked hooked.
I loved thishooked, hooked hooked.<br />I loved thisHuntresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08155372788872245758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-69708147606956210792010-03-25T11:19:20.758-04:002010-03-25T11:19:20.758-04:00Yes, it's not clear how he knows what he knows...Yes, it's not clear how he knows what he knows or if this is an interpretation by someone else (priest etc, based on the genre) to romanticize his life. Not sure I'd keep going.Bluestockinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01225973854788421827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-83642364645195290412010-03-25T10:40:56.647-04:002010-03-25T10:40:56.647-04:00Today was the day...he died?
I'm a little con...Today was the day...he died?<br /><br />I'm a little confused if he knows he's going to die today, or he's already dead when he wakes up. Or what.<br /><br />Also, waking up is usually advised against. Too many stories start that way.Jodi Meadowshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11796496740054225283noreply@blogger.com