tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post5557908473676073730..comments2024-03-28T08:14:28.881-04:00Comments on Authoress: Logline Critique Round #22Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-1014632020426831542016-09-07T01:40:41.225-04:002016-09-07T01:40:41.225-04:00Thanks everyone for your comments. :) Thanks everyone for your comments. :) Tabitha Birdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08196816108272065974noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-30166135422248374362016-09-07T01:39:59.337-04:002016-09-07T01:39:59.337-04:00Thank you for your feed back Holly :)
Thank you for your feed back Holly :)<br />Tabitha Birdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08196816108272065974noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-56853712658223275712016-08-26T17:43:18.143-04:002016-08-26T17:43:18.143-04:00Too many ages to be able to follow what is happeni...Too many ages to be able to follow what is happening. Can you use just one age? Something like Willa will die at 33, unless ....Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08334805667163665312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-33870692930285489352016-08-24T20:15:33.827-04:002016-08-24T20:15:33.827-04:00It sounds interesting but too confusing. Is the &q...It sounds interesting but too confusing. Is the "new future" her not dying aged 34? Perhaps an adjective describing what she is like at those different ages as well might make the character more intriguing and not just the time travel premise.LMnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-78852724082587815942016-08-24T20:02:52.645-04:002016-08-24T20:02:52.645-04:00Time travel is not my strong suit--I always get co...Time travel is not my strong suit--I always get confused--but I had the same question as Holly: how can she exist at 103 if she dies at 34 in her current life? Good luck!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10100364670783624333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-39429380587869819092016-08-24T12:50:40.715-04:002016-08-24T12:50:40.715-04:00This is really confusing. That first part "Wi...This is really confusing. That first part "Willa Waters died aged 34 unless" -- is that missing a word? If the goal is to create a new future and all she has to do is confront her pops, that's no biggie. What is really standing in her way?don't hate menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-91951576513031570862016-08-24T10:55:19.583-04:002016-08-24T10:55:19.583-04:00I find it confusing to have this start in past ten...I find it confusing to have this start in past tense. I think you need to say, "Willa Waters will die at age 34 unless..." Also, you need to tell us how she can exist at 103 if her current future has her dying at 34. Finally, we need something more tangible than confronting lies. What does she actually have to do to change her future?<br /><br />Good luck!<br />HollyHolly Bodgerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08218140291198124199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-91468012995804613222016-08-24T09:43:52.306-04:002016-08-24T09:43:52.306-04:00Great stakes. Love your premise!!Great stakes. Love your premise!!Roxanne Lambiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12690145654965161181noreply@blogger.com