tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post6402417205690796917..comments2024-03-29T05:54:33.136-04:00Comments on Authoress: The Christmas/Chanukah Song Lyric Contest -- Now Open!Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-79350626547703792982015-12-16T05:23:58.964-05:002015-12-16T05:23:58.964-05:00Merry Christmas everyone.Dashing through the snow,...Merry Christmas everyone.<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvmTNiuA4do&list=PLK2ccNIJVPpDo4uHnjFEuzm-HoNpFKjXP" rel="nofollow">Dashing through the snow, in a one-horse open sleigh</a> Read more....Karthika Qpthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00583318022789356382noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-2523091898042933302014-12-11T17:31:09.893-05:002014-12-11T17:31:09.893-05:00On Writing Day
(to the tune of "I Saw Three ...<b>On Writing Day</b> <br />(to the tune of "I Saw Three Ships" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-l5bUgETaic)<br /><br />I heard three ghosts come wailing in<br />I typed away, I typed away.<br />I heard three ghosts come wailing in<br />On Writing Day in the morning. <br /> <br />And just who were those ghosts all three,<br />On Writing Day, on Writing Day?<br />Who were the ghosts did visit me,<br />Before I had coffee that morning?<br /> <br />The Merry Muse and Critic were there,<br />On Writing Day, on Writing Day;<br />Merry Muse, Critic, and Self-Doubt, too,<br />On Writing Day in the morning.<br /> <br />Pray, do tell, what ghosts did wail,<br />On Writing Day, on Writing Day;<br />Pray, do tell, what ghosts did wail,<br />On Writing Day in the morning?<br /> <br />O they wailed: “Please, write!” “No, stop!”<br />On Writing Day, on Writing Day;<br />O they wailed: “You’re great, you suck”<br />On Writing Day in the morning,<br /> <br />All the Muses from Heaven shall sing<br />On Writing Day, on Writing Day;<br />And all the critics and doubts shall ring,<br />On Writing Day in the morning.<br /> <br />And all rejections received shall sting,<br />On Writing Day, on Writing Day;<br />And all rejections received shall sting,<br />On Writing day in the morning.<br /> <br />But maybe one day I’ll fill a need<br />Through Writing Day, through Writing Day<br />And my words the masses will read<br />Some Writing Day in the Morning<br /> <br />Then I’ll just begin again<br />On Writing Day, on Writing Day<br />Pour some coffee, and type some more.<br />And Rejoice for Writing Morning.Maureenhttp://www.marianisima.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-3826137196818093362014-12-11T10:34:14.099-05:002014-12-11T10:34:14.099-05:00THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED.THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED.Authoresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-46083521889334449282014-12-11T10:32:17.305-05:002014-12-11T10:32:17.305-05:00To the tune of Happy XMas (War is Over)
So this i...To the tune of Happy XMas (War is Over)<br /><br />So this is writing<br />What shall I write now?<br />The next great bestseller <br />If I only knew how<br /><br />And so this is writing<br />I hope it's not trite<br />I've way too much back story<br />Guess I'll have to rewrite<br /><br />A very wary adverb<br />Suddenly gets marked out<br />Let's hope it reads better<br />Could there be any doubt?<br /><br />And so happy writing<br />Pound the desk with my fist<br />I've got no motivation<br />For my antagonist<br /><br />A very wary query<br />I hope it will sell<br />Masterpiece or disaster<br />It's the best tale I could tell<br /><br />Writing's over<br />If I let it<br />Never over<br />WriteAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10113871416347860516noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-54387578339748669572014-12-11T03:48:50.212-05:002014-12-11T03:48:50.212-05:00Ditch The Calls
(Deck the Halls)
Ditch the calls,...Ditch The Calls<br />(Deck the Halls)<br /><br />Ditch the calls, they're full of BS<br />Yea yea yea yea yea yea yea yea yea<br />Stupid marketers filling my head with mess<br />Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah<br /><br />So don't want your lame subscriptions<br />No No No No No No No No No<br />Hang up before I'm filled with conniption<br />Shoo Shoo Shoo Shoo Shoo Shoo Shoo Shoo Click<br /><br />Agents inform me as soon as possible<br />Respond Respond Respond Respond 'spond 'spond <br />In order to beat my writing obstacle<br />Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Help Me<br /><br />Do not make me stalk you on Twitter<br />Cause I will will will will will will will<br />Until you give feedback on my MS<br />Sucks to be you you you you you<br /><br />Now I've become a freaking glutton<br />Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom<br />And I think I broke the refresh button<br />Yup Yup Yup...oh wait it still does work<br /><br />Inbox message puts me out of my misery<br />Hurrah Hurrah Hurrah Hurrah 'rah 'rah<br />And now their thoughts are no longer a mystery<br />Crap Crap Crap Crap Crap What have I done?Nicole Paynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16587996594690217267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-3743491130176971012014-12-11T03:10:40.615-05:002014-12-11T03:10:40.615-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Nicole Paynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16587996594690217267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-38820360589796716672014-12-10T23:39:41.618-05:002014-12-10T23:39:41.618-05:00The Little Writer Girl
(The Little Drummer Boy)
W...The Little Writer Girl<br />(The Little Drummer Boy)<br /><br />Write, they told me<br />We promise it’s fun.<br />Each shiny new idea<br />We promise it’s fun<br />You’ll guide their destiny<br />We promise it’s fun.<br />Like you’re a deity<br />We promise it’s fun<br />Promise it’s fun<br />Promise it’s fun<br /><br />I believed in them<br />Their promise of fun<br />So I’ve begun<br /><br />Wrote a hot guy<br />Now isn’t this fun<br />A sassy female lead<br />Now isn’t this fun<br />A perfect villain too<br />Now isn’t this fun<br />There’s so much more to do<br />Now isn’t this fun<br />Isn’t this fun<br />Isn’t this fun<br /><br />Wait, that plot fell through<br />That wasn’t so fun<br />What have I done?<br /><br />Now revisions<br />How can this be fun?<br />This dialogue is bad<br />How can this be fun?<br />Why did she have to die?<br />How can this be fun?<br />There is no end in sight<br />How can this be fun?<br />Can this be fun?<br />Maybe I’m done<br /><br />Wait, I see the light<br />I get why it’s fun<br />It’s second to noneRebecca T.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11994380364321336824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-30730208462681182412014-12-10T23:24:22.336-05:002014-12-10T23:24:22.336-05:00“Maybe It’s Gold Inside”
(based on “Baby, It’s Co...“Maybe It’s Gold Inside” <br />(based on “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”)<br /><br />I really can’t pay.<br />(But maybe it’s gold inside.)<br />Oh I gotta say nay.<br />(My book’s gold inside.)<br />This submission has been<br />(Been hoping that you’d buy in.)<br />So very strange.<br />(I’ll fix what you say I should change.) <br />Our accountants would start to worry.<br />(Hey editor, you’d better hurry.)<br />The sales team would be pacing the floor.<br />(Can’t you hear those critics roar?)<br />So really would it fit my list?<br />(Don’t let this unique chance be missed.)<br />Or maybe I should read a bit more.<br />(Oh put your hands on chapter four.)<br />The readers might think . . .<br />(Yeah, but it’s explained in there.)<br />Hey, I don’t get this link.<br />(It all makes sense in there.)<br />I wish I knew how<br />(Your eyes see awards coming now.)<br />To break this spell.<br />(I’ll work like nuts so it will sell.)<br />I want to say no, no, no, sir.<br />(You want to read a little bit closer.)<br />At least I’m going to say that I tried.<br />(I long ago lost all of my pride.)<br />I really can’t pay,<br />(Don’t hold out.)<br />But maybe it’s gold inside.<br /><br />I’m liking the flow.<br />(Maybe it’s gold inside.)<br />The answer was no.<br />(But maybe it’s gold inside.)<br />The writing has been<br />(Please love the tale I spin.)<br />Far past the norm.<br />(Just look at the climax, a genius brainstorm.)<br />My boss will be suspicious.<br />(Gosh, you can grant my wishes.)<br />My intern will think it’s a score.<br />(Like classic bestsellers of yore.)<br />Acquisitions meetings are vicious.<br />(Please fulfill all my wishes.)<br />Maybe just a few chapters more.<br />(You know this is a book you adore.)<br />Oh I’ve got to stop here.<br />(But then you’ll regret it out there.)<br />Here’s what I fear:<br />(My book will do great out there.)<br />Will it go as planned?<br />(There will be Rowling-like demand.)<br />But don’t you see<br />(How can you say no way to me?)<br />They’ll ask about sequels tomorrow?<br />(Well, there are lots of ideas to borrow)<br />At least they’ll be a series implied.<br />(From books whose authors have died.)<br />I really can’t pay.<br />(Get over that doubt.)<br />Maybe it’s gold inside.JWaltScottnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-79049286799706769092014-12-10T23:22:07.311-05:002014-12-10T23:22:07.311-05:00“The Little Writer Boy”
(to the tune of “The Littl...“The Little Writer Boy”<br />(to the tune of “The Little Drummer Boy”)<br /><br />Come they told me<br />Parum pum pum pum<br />A new agent to see,<br />Parum pum pum pum<br />Your book’s first page to bring<br />Parum pum pum pum<br />To learn if your words sing,<br />Parum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum<br />So to get feedback<br />Parum pum pum pum<br />On what you’ve done.<br /><br />Wisest agent,<br />Parum pum pum pum<br />I am a poor writer. <br />Parum pum pum pum<br />I’ve but one book to bring<br />Parum pum pum pum<br />That’s fit for publishing.<br />Parum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum<br />Shall I read to you<br />Parum pum pum pum<br />With aplomb?<br /><br />The agent nodded.<br />Parum pum pum pum<br />Her tapping pen kept time.<br />Parum pum pum pum<br />I read my page for her.<br />Parum pum pum pum<br />I read my best for her.<br />Parum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum<br />Then she shrugged at me<br />Parum pum pum pum<br />And said, “It’s ho-hum.”<br />(echoes) “The plotline is glum.”<br />“Emotions were numb.”<br />“They just ate dim sum.”<br />“I’ll throw you a crumb:”<br />“It’s better than some.”JWaltScottnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-37057343197175165742014-12-10T20:24:29.641-05:002014-12-10T20:24:29.641-05:00(I’m Gonna Stick My) Head into the Sand
(Winter Wo...(I’m Gonna Stick My) Head into the Sand<br />(Winter Wonderland)<br />By Sue Fliess<br /><br />My hands wring, at revision.<br />I don’t see my editor’s vision.<br />My story is slight,<br />A total rewrite.<br />I’m gonna stick my head into the sand.<br /><br />Deadlines loom, I am sweating.<br />All my skills, I’m forgetting.<br />My ending is weak,<br />My characters, bleak.<br />Nothing’s turning out as I had planned.<br /><br />In the margins I can see her edits.<br />Things like “Done before” and “Too cliché.”<br />She says “Can you fix this?”<br />I say, “All right.”<br />And then I cry into my Cabernet.<br /><br />Gone away is my sanity.<br />Every thought is profanity.<br />My cheeks are all flushed.<br />My ego is crushed.<br />I’m gonna stick my head into the sand.<br /><br />In the margins I can see her edits.<br />Things like “Done before” and “Too cliché.”<br />She says “Can you fix this?”<br />I say, “All right.”<br />And then I polish off the Cabernet.<br /><br />I request an extension<br />So I can give the story tension<br />But panic sets in<br />My plot is too thin<br />I’m gonna stick my head into the sand.Sue Fliesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07006237390303590955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-46843859965569004172014-12-10T18:38:42.362-05:002014-12-10T18:38:42.362-05:00The Most Horrible Time of the Year
(The Most Wonde...The Most Horrible Time of the Year<br />(The Most Wonderful Time of the Year)<br /><br />It’s the most horrible time of the year<br />With their inboxes filling, still no agent’s willing<br />To launch your career<br />It’s the most horrible time of the year.<br /><br />It’s the most nerve-wracking season of all<br />When your query’s critiqued and<br />Your plot’s not unique and your characters fall<br />It’s the most nerve-wracking season of all<br /><br />There’ll be guidelines for reading<br />Redlines leave you bleeding<br />And questioning your novel’s worth.<br />There’ll be rewriting sessions<br />And blog-hopping lessons<br />For cutting your o’er-wordy girth<br /><br />It’s the most horrible time of the year<br />With their inboxes filling, still no agent’s willing<br />To launch your career<br />It’s the most horrible time of the year.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-24435108053120286072014-12-10T18:27:42.792-05:002014-12-10T18:27:42.792-05:00“Acquisitions” sung to Good King Wenceslas
By Gayl...“Acquisitions” sung to Good King Wenceslas<br />By Gayle C. Krause<br /><br />Senior editors looked down<br />at the acquisition.<br />All but one wore a big frown.<br />She’s a word magician.<br /><br />Cutting adverbs from the tags.<br />Slicing terms not needed.<br />Circling gerunds as red flags<br />Strong verb choices, seeded. <br /> <br />Change the type on jacket flaps.<br />Catch the reader’s eyes.<br />Author’s name in all small caps—<br />--Newbery surprise.<br /><br />Send the contract. Have them sign.<br />Choose a layout artist. <br />Find a fresh cover design.<br />This book is the smartest. <br /><br />Marketing says we can’t lose.<br />Pitch line is exquisite.<br />Call the author with the news.<br />Ask her for a visit.<br /><br />Revisions worked. Like the hook!<br />Ending satisfies.<br />Have author write second book<br />Her star’s on the rise.<br /><br /><br /><br />Gayle C. Krausehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09574871777672680761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-82484766558541026182014-12-10T18:13:43.449-05:002014-12-10T18:13:43.449-05:00
LET ME KNOW (Let It Snow)
Oh my hopes were...<br /> LET ME KNOW (Let It Snow)<br /><br />Oh my hopes were high back in August<br />And my eyes were filled with stardust.<br />As I polished, the words did flow.<br />Does it glow, does it glow, does it glow?<br /><br />The agent I met impressed me.<br />I was sure he’d love my MG.<br />But then it was time to go.<br />Does he know, does he know, does he know?<br /><br />When I finally sent it out,<br />I was sure I’d hear right away.<br />But soon I was filled with doubt<br />When no answer came my way!<br /><br />So, if you’re reading this online,<br />And come across that novel of mine,<br />Give it a read it while it snows, <br />And let me know, let me know, let me know.<br /><br />Would you please just give it a look?<br />I spent hours on that hook.<br />I’d really love to know.<br />Let me know, let me know, let me know.<br />MaggieMaynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-16999683579640104992014-12-10T16:30:27.325-05:002014-12-10T16:30:27.325-05:00The Five days of Querying, Because Us Writers are ...The Five days of Querying, Because Us Writers are Too Busy with Book Tours, Oprah and Writing To Sing All Twelve.<br />*************************************<br /><br />On the first day of Christmas my mailman gave to me, a rejection from my favorite agency. <br /><br />On the second day of Christmas my mailman gave to me, two unopened queries and a rejection from my favorite agency.<br /><br />On the third day of Christmas my mailman gave to me, three returned synopses, two unopened queries and a rejection from my favorite agency. <br /><br />On the fourth day of Christmas my mailman gave to me, four friends’ new novels, three returned synopses, two unopened queries and a rejection from my favorite agency. <br /><br />On the fifth day of Christmas my mailman gave to me, five offers to self-publish. . . . .four friends’ new novels, three returned synopses, two unopened queries and a rejection from my favorite agency!DJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14359760998871484565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-59185709540908991392014-12-10T15:48:33.185-05:002014-12-10T15:48:33.185-05:00Please Say Goodnight by Gifford MacShane
Sung to t...<b>Please Say Goodnight</b> by Gifford MacShane<br />Sung to the tune of “All Through the Night”<br /><br />Not familiar with this Welsh carol? Here’s the Kingston Trio’s version of the original. Obviously recorded from vinyl, so the quality is poor, but the harmonies are delicious!<br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaiy6V7h8-E<br /><br /><br />Midnight now, my head is hanging,<br />Time to say goodnight.<br />Voices in my head, stop clanging,<br />It’s time to say goodnight.<br />I know there are chapters waiting,<br />Characters anticipating.<br />I don’t need your conversating,<br />Please say goodnight.<br /><br />Heroes have good deeds to do,<br />But please say goodnight.<br />Villains will do evil, too,<br />But please say goodnight.<br />Demoiselle is left in peril,<br />Terrified of all things feral,<br />I don’t really mean to querul,<br />But please say goodnight.<br /><br />Night is gone, the dawn is breaking,<br />PLEASE say goodnight.<br />My eyes are fried, my hands are shaking,<br />PLEASE say goodnight.<br />If I don’t sleep I will perish,<br />And your story none will cherish.<br />Voices, please, it may sound churlish<br />But PLEASE SAY GOODNIGHT!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-89540479535676411332014-12-10T15:38:10.328-05:002014-12-10T15:38:10.328-05:00TWITTER PARTIES ROCK
(Jingle Bell Rock)
Pitches p...TWITTER PARTIES ROCK<br />(Jingle Bell Rock)<br /><br />Pitches parties are on the run<br />Hit me with yours, one of a kind<br />Oh, do be a peach<br />And favorite me<br />Now the queries are on the run!<br /><br />Pitches parties are on the rock<br />Gobble this one, straight up the hatch<br />Dancing and prancing words on the go<br />Browsing is in the air <br /><br /><br />What a bright time, it's the right time<br />To rock the night away<br /><br /><br />Fast food are on the Twitter tray<br />Ready for grab, chewing and perusing<br />Retweets are well on the swell rise<br />Reading around the clock<br /><br /> <br />Mix the stakes and villains rock<br />Get your hot twitter voice….<br />Sussuhttp://novelwithoutfurtherado.weebly.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-70446793743398566692014-12-10T14:51:21.805-05:002014-12-10T14:51:21.805-05:00GIGGLING MUSE
(Jingle Bells)
Dashing through our ...GIGGLING MUSE<br />(Jingle Bells)<br /><br />Dashing through our brain<br />In a one ding-a-ling voice<br />O’ver my hand she goes<br />Laughing all the way<br />Ideas on magic ring<br />Making sentences bright<br />What fun it is to tell and tell<br />A witching tale tonight<br /><br />Oh, giggling Muse, giggling Muse<br />Jingle all the way<br />Oh, what fun it is to write<br />key words in a keyway<br />giggling Muse, giggling Muse<br />Jingle all the way<br />Oh, what fun it is to write<br />On an open inky pad<br /><br />A year or two ago<br />tidyin’ up à gogo<br />And a Misses Muse arrived<br />Was seated by my side<br />The voice was bewitching<br />Misfortunes happening<br />We found a grabbing hook<br />And then we got on route<br /><br />Oh, giggling Muse, giggling Muse<br />Jingle all the way<br />Oh, what fun it is to write<br />key words in a keyway<br />giggling Muse, giggling Muse<br />Jingle all the way<br />Oh, what fun it is to write<br />On an open inky pad<br />Sussuhttp://novelwithoutfurtherado.weebly.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-70062002777975415312014-12-10T14:33:11.853-05:002014-12-10T14:33:11.853-05:00SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN
You better write f...SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN<br /><br />You better write fast<br />You better not stall<br />Have a great cast<br />I'm telling you all<br />Agent Claus is watching for you<br /><br />She's making a list<br />And checking it twice<br />Gonna find out who's queried her twice<br />Agent Claus is watching for you<br /><br />She sees you when you're working<br />She knows when you take breaks<br />She knows if you write bad or good<br />So write good for goodness sake!<br /><br />O! You better watch out!<br />You better not cry<br />She sees it on Twitter<br />And you're gonna die<br />Agent Claus is watching for you<br />Agent Claus is watching for youAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14800038834357995493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-58137922199193085072014-12-10T14:17:24.677-05:002014-12-10T14:17:24.677-05:00[to the tune of: “All I Want for Christmas is My T...[to the tune of: “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth”)<br /><br /><br /><br />ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS A TWO-BOOK DEAL<br /><br /><br /><br />All I want for Christmas<br /><br />Is a two-book deal<br /><br />A two-book deal<br /><br />Just a two-book deal.<br /><br />Gee, if I could only have <br /><br />A two-book deal<br /><br />Then I could have a merry Christmas.<br /><br /><br /><br />It seems so long since I could say,<br /><br />“My savings account isn’t abysmal.”<br /><br />Gosh, oh gee<br /><br />How happy I’d be<br /><br />If I got paid even a dribble!<br /><br /><br />All I want for Christmas<br /><br />Is a two-book deal<br /><br />A two-book deal<br /><br />Just a two-book deal.<br /><br />Gee, if I could only have a two-book deal<br /><br />Then I could GIVE more gifts this Christmas!<br />shelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14389179701574555688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-51004540933625830922014-12-10T14:06:41.164-05:002014-12-10T14:06:41.164-05:00"The Twelve Months of Queries" (To the t..."The Twelve Months of Queries" (To the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas")<br /><br />On my first month of queries, one agent said to me:<br />I’m sorry, this just isn’t for me.<br /><br />On my second month of queries, two agents said to me:<br />Absolutely nothing.<br />I’m sorry, this just isn’t for me.<br /><br />On my third month of queries, three agents said to me:<br />Revise, resend.<br />Absolutely nothing.<br />I’m sorry, this just isn’t for me.<br /><br />On my fourth month of queries, four agents said to me:<br />Please know your genre!<br />Revise, resend.<br />Absolutely nothing.<br />I’m sorry, this just isn’t for me.<br /><br />On my fifth month of queries, five agents said to me:<br />THIS ISN’T QUITE READY!<br />Please know your genre!<br />Revise, resend.<br />Absolutely nothing.<br />I’m sorry, this just isn’t for me.<br /><br />On my sixth month of queries, six agents said to me:<br />What else have you written?<br />THIS ISN’T QUITE READY!<br />Please know your genre!<br />Revise, resend.<br />Absolutely nothing.<br />I’m sorry, this just isn’t for me.<br /><br />On my seventh month of queries, seven agents said to me.<br />I’d love to see a partial.<br />What else have you written?<br />THIS ISN’T QUITE READY!<br />Please know your genre!<br />Revise, resend.<br />Absolutely nothing.<br />I’m sorry, this just isn’t for me.<br /><br />On my eighth month of queries, eight agents said to me:<br />Can you send the full?<br />I’d love to see a partial.<br />What else have you written?<br />THIS ISN’T QUITE READY!<br />Please know your genre!<br />Revise, resend.<br />Absolutely nothing.<br />I’m sorry, this just isn’t for me.<br /><br />On my ninth month of queries, nine agents said to me.<br />I’ll be in touch.<br />Can you send the full?<br />I’d love to see a partial.<br />What else have you written?<br />THIS ISN’T QUITE READY!<br />Please know your genre!<br />Revise, resend.<br />Absolutely nothing.<br />I’m sorry, this just isn’t for me.<br /><br />On my tenth month of queries, ten agents said to me:<br />Unfortunately I’m passing.<br />I’ll be in touch.<br />Can you send the full?<br />I’d love to see a partial.<br />What else have you written?<br />THIS ISN’T QUITE READY!<br />Please know your genre!<br />Revise, resend.<br />Absolutely nothing.<br />I’m sorry, this just isn’t for me.<br /><br />On my eleventh month of queries, eleven agents said to me:<br />I’d like to chat tomorrow.<br />Unfortunately I’m passing.<br />I’ll be in touch.<br />Can you send the full?<br />I’d love to see a partial.<br />What else have you written?<br />THIS ISN’T QUITE READY!<br />Please know your genre!<br />Revise, resend.<br />Absolutely nothing.<br />I’m sorry, this just isn’t for me.<br /><br />On my twelfth month of queries, twelve agents said to me:<br />I’d love to represent you!<br />I’d like to chat tomorrow.<br />Unfortunately I’m passing.<br />I’ll be in touch.<br />Can you send the full?<br />I’d love to see a partial.<br />What else have you written?<br />THIS ISN’T QUITE READY!<br />Please know your genre!<br />Revise, resend.<br />Absolutely nothing.<br />I’m sorry, this just isn’t for me.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02607431999491108159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-31124365233894952362014-12-10T13:43:11.224-05:002014-12-10T13:43:11.224-05:00Whirlwind of the Writer
(to the tune of Carol of ...Whirlwind of the Writer <br />(to the tune of Carol of the Bells)<br /><br />Straight from a peer,<br />Critique is here:<br />Take out that dream<br />Leave in the scream<br />What are her goals<br />Fill those plot holes<br />Show me don't tell<br />This part works well<br /><br />Right, Wrong, Right, Wrong,<br />Weak, Strong, Weak, Strong<br />Lose filler words<br />Action's absurd<br />Try raising stakes<br />How 'bout some snakes?<br />Fix it and then<br />Submit again...<br /><br />Character sags<br />Backstory lags<br />Conflict is strong<br />Leave in the song<br />Push to the edge<br />Show me the ledge<br />Not enough fear<br />Word echoes here<br />Hurry, Hurry, Hurry, Hurry, Revise<br />Hurry, Hurry, Hurry, Hurry, Revise<br /><br />Tight point of view<br />This typo's new<br />Where is the voice<br />That's poor word choice<br />Fresh set of eyes<br />still no one buys...<br />Weak, Strong, Weak, Strong,<br />Strong!JEN Garretthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11223454346963493011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-44420442017988126072014-12-10T13:32:46.190-05:002014-12-10T13:32:46.190-05:00Let it Flow
(to the tune of "Let it Snow"...Let it Flow<br />(to the tune of "Let it Snow")<br /><br />First drafts are oh so dreadful, <br />But our concepts are so marketable<br />The characters are all so-so,<br />Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow!<br /><br />The revisions are going quickly,<br />The caffeine is flowing thickly<br />Tell all the clichés, “No no!”<br />Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow!<br /><br />When the manuscript finally shines,<br />How we’ll hate saying, “Yes, it’s the end.”<br />But if we double-check all the lines,<br />We can find hope once again!<br /><br />The query is oh so plucky,<br />And the synopsis not that sucky<br />To the trenches we now must go,<br />Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow!<br />Kimberly Vanderhorsthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01653757517652257445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-56271492582469587552014-12-10T13:05:47.169-05:002014-12-10T13:05:47.169-05:00And take two...
[To the tune of: I Have a Little ...And take two...<br /><br />[To the tune of: I Have a Little Dreidel ]<br /><br /><b>I Wrote the Next Bestseller</b><br /><br />I wrote the next bestseller, you must read it today.<br />It’s my first novel ever. I’m sending it your way!<br />Oh agent, agent, agent, here is my masterpiece —<br />The manuscript is attached, so read it won’t you please.<br /><br />I wrote it during NaNo, kept typing every day<br />It doesn’t need no edits, so read it—don’t delay!<br />Oh agent, agent, agent, you’ll love my masterpiece<br />So say all those who’ve read it: my mother and my niece!<br /><br />You have to read the whole thing—there’s no stopping halfway!<br />I’ve learned to be persistent, so I won’t go away.<br />Oh agent, agent, agent, won’t you email me back?<br />We need to discuss book deals, and our plan of attack!<br /><br />It’s been a couple weeks now, beside the phone I stay<br />No matter what you tell me, I still won’t go away.<br />Oh agent, agent, agent, I’m sure you’ll call me soon,<br />Working with me’s so easy, you’ll be over the moon!<br />Aria Glazkihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17566964877939697962noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-71675944773252789962014-12-10T13:04:06.728-05:002014-12-10T13:04:06.728-05:00Wow, so many good one so far!
[To the tune of Han...Wow, so many good one so far!<br /><br />[To the tune of Hannukah, Hannukah. For those who are unfamiliar: http://youtu.be/NBxtArQX7ic?t=36s or https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwTq-MEDXGI ]<br /><br /><b>Dear readers, romance fans</b><br /><br />Dear readers, romance fans, won’t you read my book?<br />It’s brand new, just released, for kindle and nook!<br />Share some laughs, spill some tears, then leave a review —<br />Lend it to your good friends, so they’ll love it too!<br /><br />Dear readers, romance fans, I have spent so long<br />Polishing this novel — now it’s nice and strong.<br />Buy yours now, so that I could maybe afford<br />Some coffee, a pastry, or a scrabble board!<br /><br />Dear readers, romance fans, while you read away,<br />Writing here, in my den, that is where I’ll stay. <br />Working on my next book—I hope you’ll want more<br />And my books will fly off the shelves in the store!<br /><br />Dear readers, romance fans, the Amazon rank<br />Or the bestseller lists, if I may be frank,<br />They don’t count, not as much, as what you all say<br />Compliments on my book, well, they make my day!<br />Aria Glazkihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17566964877939697962noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-85704127937094044142014-12-10T12:03:16.415-05:002014-12-10T12:03:16.415-05:00I've Been Watching My Email All Day
(I Saw Mom...I've Been Watching My Email All Day<br />(I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus)<br /><br />I've been watching my email all day<br />For responses to those fulls I sent.<br />I haven't heard a peep<br />It's been almost three weeks!<br />I'm wondering if I'll ever be able to fall asleep!<br /><br />I've been watching my email all night<br />I think that I'm about to lose my mind.<br />Oh, tell me what have I done<br />The torture's only begun,<br />I wanna hear back from them all right now!<br />(Good news, of course!)<br /><br />Now, another week has come and gone<br />I've been staring at the computer for a month.<br />I think I might be sick. <br />Oh, yeah, it's made me sick!<br />I've only eaten chocolate and my neck is full of cricks.<br /><br />I've been watching my email so long, <br />It's getting uncomfortable under my stares!<br />Wait! Query Tracker says not to fret,<br />The average response time hasn't been met. <br />Yes! Maybe I will snag an agent just yet!krystal janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02115542477066959046noreply@blogger.com