tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post7253800433641854841..comments2024-03-18T12:01:18.507-04:00Comments on Authoress: #76 SECRET AGENT Are You Hooked?Authoresshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223228949688667517noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-86643920274295491682008-07-20T21:43:00.000-04:002008-07-20T21:43:00.000-04:00Yes.The first line grabbed me, and the inner confl...Yes.<BR/><BR/>The first line grabbed me, and the inner conflict of the MC kept me reading. I'd like to hear more. <BR/><BR/>It's got mystery, sex, rebellion -- fun. The writing style flows easy too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-27958462782245154822008-07-20T00:12:00.000-04:002008-07-20T00:12:00.000-04:00Not bad. The fact that she explicitly states/repea...Not bad. The fact that she explicitly states/repeats her name from off the card but not any of the other info irritated me, but otherwise good.Amy Laurenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16782528327499574711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-78366269491441990982008-07-19T22:18:00.000-04:002008-07-19T22:18:00.000-04:00Definitely hooked. The MC had a strong sense of v...Definitely hooked. The MC had a strong sense of voice and I want to know more.Ardythhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15379643762791779892noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-35429005679133031982008-07-19T17:33:00.000-04:002008-07-19T17:33:00.000-04:00It's really not my usual kind of read, but I'm hoo...It's really not my usual kind of read, but I'm hooked enough to keep reading.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-25149761645443941302008-07-19T17:30:00.000-04:002008-07-19T17:30:00.000-04:00Hooked. The "forbidden boyfriend" and "lusty parts...Hooked. The "forbidden boyfriend" and "lusty parts" popped to me and I wondered if you could rephrase. I like the info about the dad and the tasted of rebellion phrase, so I'd take a look at more.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-53719418202507406272008-07-19T01:26:00.000-04:002008-07-19T01:26:00.000-04:00I think your writing style is pretty tight. The st...I think your writing style is pretty tight. The story flowed well and I got a good pulse on who the characters were.<BR/><BR/>It's not my thing so I'd pass but it's well-written.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-90274677883084541342008-07-18T20:05:00.000-04:002008-07-18T20:05:00.000-04:00A tentative yes--I liked the opening and am curiou...A tentative yes--I liked the opening and am curious about the situation and the immediate sense of conflict, but it would depend on the plot if it's something I'd be interested in reading. <BR/><BR/>Good luck,<BR/><BR/>~MercMerchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14164221022350926808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-72026798538142666102008-07-18T15:37:00.000-04:002008-07-18T15:37:00.000-04:00Yes, for a while at least.The tight writing and de...Yes, for a while at least.<BR/><BR/>The tight writing and developed characters drew me right into the opening. I'd read more, depending on the plot -- I don't pick up a lot of straight YA. Wonderful job so far!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-41784083103611877632008-07-18T13:54:00.000-04:002008-07-18T13:54:00.000-04:00Beautifully done! Nice character development immed...Beautifully done! Nice character development immediately, fascinating premise, tense and intriguing. Good job!Karen Duvallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01839711547501582977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-62074170289022468762008-07-18T09:56:00.000-04:002008-07-18T09:56:00.000-04:00I'm interested where this is going but I'm not sur...I'm interested where this is going but I'm not sure I want it to be YA. I think of 14 year olds when I see the YA label and there are just certain things I don't want to read about a 14 yr old doing.Liana Brookshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14587774916354749190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-633340648049957052008-07-18T09:23:00.000-04:002008-07-18T09:23:00.000-04:00Yes, yes, yes. Again, that second to last paragrap...Yes, yes, yes. <BR/>Again, that second to last paragraph didn't seem to flow like the rest. But everything else I really liked.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-87404866975952962442008-07-18T09:00:00.000-04:002008-07-18T09:00:00.000-04:00I'll say tentatively yes. The "forbidden" part ju...I'll say tentatively yes. The "forbidden" part jumped out and sounded forced and unnatural. There were some other wording issues I had, but the premise seems interesting.LoriStronginhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10764202539292045963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-29697928581813332632008-07-18T08:25:00.000-04:002008-07-18T08:25:00.000-04:00Uh...no. I think that this could be good. But you ...Uh...no. <BR/><BR/>I think that this could be good. But you need to have stronger characterization from the protagonist particularly in the first paragraph. I couldn't identify with her.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-88058972736996905142008-07-18T04:27:00.000-04:002008-07-18T04:27:00.000-04:00Didn't like the second to last paragraph. Too melo...Didn't like the second to last paragraph. Too melodramatic. But I LOVED the last paragraph, especially the last sentence. Very good. I would read on.Beth Overmyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04820441246149409581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-18258828600709532202008-07-18T03:11:00.000-04:002008-07-18T03:11:00.000-04:00Interesting choice of words, forbidden boyfriend, ...Interesting choice of words, forbidden boyfriend, so off to a great start. The tie in of the Dad being a previous owner of this bar sets up the conflict to come well also. If you follow through and show reason why the boyfriend would be turned off if he knew Erica's past, I wouldnt be disappointed once I read on.<BR/>Thanks for sharing, and yes, I'd turn the pages.Arlenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13009609859622288428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-4026476044684613722008-07-18T01:54:00.000-04:002008-07-18T01:54:00.000-04:00Please let me read more? *flashes begging puppy do...Please let me read more? *flashes begging puppy dog eyes* Pretty please? I like it. Reminds me of my own teenage daughters.Captain Hookhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14802744533031619523noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-9803534331461722132008-07-17T23:24:00.000-04:002008-07-17T23:24:00.000-04:00Yep, I'd read on with this one. Good job conjurin...Yep, I'd read on with this one. Good job conjuring up the rebellious boyfriend and a hint of something that went wrong with the MC's dad that he needed to sell the bar. Good opening!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-28362581340397714442008-07-17T22:29:00.000-04:002008-07-17T22:29:00.000-04:00Yes! Loved the voice. Writing flows from line to l...Yes! Loved the voice. Writing flows from line to line. Well done.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-9153721417841574832008-07-17T19:23:00.000-04:002008-07-17T19:23:00.000-04:00I understand this girl, her reluctance, the allure...I understand this girl, her reluctance, the allure of the sexy dangerous guy...<BR/>Nicely done, I would read more! One thing-do teens use "lusty"?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-77512496392038392032008-07-17T16:48:00.001-04:002008-07-17T16:48:00.001-04:00I'm hooked! This sounds great!I'm hooked! This sounds great!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-10070634170743331262008-07-17T16:48:00.000-04:002008-07-17T16:48:00.000-04:00I'm hooked! This sounds great!I'm hooked! This sounds great!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-18789531403816035242008-07-17T16:23:00.000-04:002008-07-17T16:23:00.000-04:00I really liked this one. You hooked me with forbi...I really liked this one. You hooked me with forbidden boyfriend - I mean, who doesn't want one of those? Ha, ha! Also, I liked the cigarettes and rebellion, BUT, I didn't like "sunk his lips into mine." That was a weird visual for me, like I sunk my feet into the sand, it sounded like his lips disappeared or something. It was strange. But, I mean, come on, I'd read past that to find out what happens at the Riptide Bar! Good job! :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-47708435377242539912008-07-17T15:03:00.000-04:002008-07-17T15:03:00.000-04:00Ooh, I really like this one! I like the opening an...Ooh, I really like this one! I like the opening and the fact that the MC knows her boyfriend is trouble. I especially love: "He tasted like cigarettes and rebellion and though I wanted the latter, I didn’t want it this way." He tasted like rebellion? Clever!<BR/><BR/>Great promise of conflict with the dad too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-79600090010654916272008-07-17T14:30:00.000-04:002008-07-17T14:30:00.000-04:00Oh yeah! You've totally got me hooked. I like the ...Oh yeah! You've totally got me hooked. I like the tension between the MC and the boyfriend and the hint of a history in her refusal to tell him anything about her past. I would definitely keep reading!Carrie Harrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14893023777471521703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3615675676021392217.post-56299789447952153722008-07-17T13:43:00.000-04:002008-07-17T13:43:00.000-04:00I really like this. Your first line drew me in imm...I really like this. Your first line drew me in immediately, and the last line of the end paragraph is brilliant. I want to run right out to find out what cigarettes and rebellion tastes like!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com